Reviews with content warning for Bullying - I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki

Reviews tagging 'Bullying'

I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Se-hee

26 reviews

james1star's review against another edition

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informative reflective medium-paced

3.5

Title: 100/5 ⭐️

Cover: 20/5 ⭐️

Content and execution: 3.5/5⭐️

This is marketed as a mental health / self help / memoir but I don’t think that’s really an accurate description. It’s basically a transcript of Baek’s sessions with her psychiatrist and then some observations. “This is a record of a very ordinary, incomplete person who meets another very ordinary, incomplete person, the latter of whom happens to be a therapist.” So I think it was okay but not necessarily what I had expected or offered anything that insightful/different. There was parts I (and others from reading reviews) can relate to and understand about depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and others. Baek begins her sessions talking about past trauma (issues of domestic abuse, unhealthy relationship with her older sister to whom she depended on, embarrassment over her social status, passivity in romanic relationships, being bullied at school that made her scared of straying from the herd and some others) and then in her sessions talks over what was happening in her life at the time and how she’s feeling. Her psychiatrist does help, offering some good advice but at times what they say don’t seem to be the most helpful or put across in the best way. Two examples: “…don’t think about the future too much. Your anxiety can become a burden to others.” And “I understand this need of yours to confirm, but I think the way you go about it is perhaps a little… childish?” I don’t have any experience in psychology but do have some with mental health professionals so maybe I’m not the best judge - however, this argument is picked up in some other reviews by professionals.

I also don’t think the writing was all that good, it seemed a bit basic at times and just wasn’t too engaging. I understand it’s a transcript for most of this book and so the things people have said orally written down so there’s little editing one can do but this follows through to the parts where the author is summarising parts and her observations. It’s possible that the nuance, meaning and eloquence was lost in translation.

What follows are my notes and some quotes that stuck out to me. I am glad I did read this as parts I could resonate with and take from it into my own life. But I would say it’s not worth the hype and there are better variations of what this book was trying to do. Exceptional title but average reading experience.

“But the idea that I’m actually normal is somehow even more weird to me”

Likely she has dysthymia - persistent depressive disorder

Hedgehog’s dilemma - contradictory state of longing for intimacy but also wanting to keep others at arm’s length. “I have always wanted to be alone, yet always hated being alone.”

“The assurance that I’m fine makes me want to cry with relief, how embarrassing.”

Self-surveillance, psych says “forgetfulness can be liberating”

“Don’t compare yourself to other people. Compare yourself to your past self.”

“You have this superego that exerts control over you, a superego built not only from your own experiences but cobbled together from all sorts of things that you admire, creating an idealised version of yourself. But that idealised version of yourself is, in the end, only an ideal. It's not who you actually are. You keep failing to meet that ideal in the real world…”

“I believe that the more I look into this strange being, myself, the more routes I will find to happiness.”

Humans beings are three-dimensional - try looking at people like this more

“The unhappiness floats to the top like oil while the happiness sinks below. But the container that holds both is what we call life, and that's where I find solace and joy. I'm sad, but I'm alive, and living through it.”

“I'm very good at objectifying myself, you see. I know I'm not ugly. But I'm not pretty, either. I know I'm just ordinary, and I hate that even more.”

“The social gaze is so insidious, and despite any escape being impossible, I want to escape it.” … “I don't know why an individual has to be treated as less-than and strive to fit society's standards when it's the people who denigrate others who are the real problem.”

Limit use of modifiers like age, job, education and stuff - it adds pressure that we may not be able to fulfil

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navayiota's review against another edition

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reflective sad slow-paced

3.0

I was really excited about this book. I got it as a birthday gift and started it immediately. It was very slow, but I gave it time, I thought it would pick up after a few chapters. Sadly, it did not. I think it's a great book for people who have just now began thinking about their mental health and behaviour, but as someone who went through the revelations she describes in the book years ago, it was a bit tiring to read. It felt like reading my journal from 5 years ago, but without the insight of what was happening in my life at the time. However, it is full of super annotatable quotes and the translation is superb, so great job there. I don't regret reading this, but if I was given the chance, I probably would have picked a different book to get as a present.

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sn2606's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective

4.0

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claudiamacpherson's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful reflective medium-paced

3.0

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becca99's review against another edition

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challenging emotional informative reflective slow-paced

3.75

I enjoyed this book for what it was, but it would've provided more help and insight if there was more context to the therapy sessions. I recognize that might be too personal for the author to share with us, but this way much of it is just hanging there aimlessly - at least for me.

I will say that the book was out of my comfort zone, but it did provide a few interesting thoughts and it gave me an opportunity to truly recognize that I am not alone with my dark thoughts and/or feelings.

I'll leave my favorite quote from the book here, because some parts really did touch me. " I am someone who is completely unique in this world, someone I need to take care of for the rest of my life, and therefore someone I need to help take each step forward, warmly and patiently, to allow to rest on some days and to encourage on others - I believe the more I look into this strange being, myself, the more routes I will find to happiness."

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rieviolet's review against another edition

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emotional inspiring reflective sad medium-paced

3.5

I appreciated the author's openness about her feelings and struggles but I wasn't particularly keen on the sections that were the direct transcripts of her therapy sessions. They felt a bit dry in terms of narrative style, with a more specialized language or explanatory segments that I was less enthusiastic to get through.

The parts with the author's own reflections and commentary were by far my favourites. The final part of the book with its brief reflective vignettes really struck a chord with me.

To me, sadness is the path of least resistance, the most familiar and close-at-hand emotion I have. A habit that has encrusted itself into my everyday.
Things will get better with time. Or no, everything is dynamic, which means life will have jump-for-joy moments as well as bad ones, going back and forth like the tide.

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