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sarasreading's review against another edition
reflective
medium-paced
Since this is mostly exact transcripts of therapy sessions I don't feel comfortable doing a rating for this one. It was interesting, but it didn't resonate with me much. If anything it felt a bit like being back in grad school doing psych assessments. Which is fine, but honestly when I read the title of this book I thought it was fiction, so it's another one that's different from what I thought I was signing up for.
There are no major breakthroughs or working towards amazing mental health, but if you're interested in what makes a person seek out mental health care when things are just not right enough, and what beginning to identify thought and behavior patterns looks like in order to change them, this could be a good one to check out.
There are no major breakthroughs or working towards amazing mental health, but if you're interested in what makes a person seek out mental health care when things are just not right enough, and what beginning to identify thought and behavior patterns looks like in order to change them, this could be a good one to check out.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness
Moderate: Domestic abuse and Alcohol
nica_chan's review against another edition
emotional
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcohol, Eating disorder, and Suicidal thoughts
sarahsbooklife's review against another edition
relaxing
slow-paced
2.25
It was an interesting book. There were some parts that I found myself connecting and sympathising with.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness and Alcohol
Moderate: Dysphoria, Body shaming, and Panic attacks/disorders
mheiling's review against another edition
reflective
fast-paced
1.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness
Moderate: Alcohol
Minor: Toxic friendship and Suicidal thoughts
discarded_dust_jacket's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
slow-paced
1.0
First of all, I want to point out that I’m aware I’m reading this as an outsider to South Korean culture. I’m reading a translation that has likely lost important nuance. I’m reading this book out of its context; I’m not its intended audience.
So I don’t hold it against Baek Sehee that this book missed the mark for me. It was wildly popular in Korea, so it has accomplished its goal, it has nothing to prove to me whatsoever.
However, since I did read it, here are my thoughts: it did a remarkable job of really highlighting the differences in how mental health is treated in Korea versus America. I audibly gasped at some of the things being said by the psychiatrist, like “Don’t think about the future too much. Your anxiety can become a burden to others” (page 57). That sort of professional advice would not be tolerated here.
I really didn’t find the format of this book very useful. It had potential, but more than anything I felt as though the therapy transcripts sort of became repetitive and didn’t quite go anywhere. Perhaps that’s the point—to show that progress is slow and doesn’t always announce itself in flashing neon letters, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.
I understand that Sehee’s aim was to, in her words, “hold my hand up high and shout, I’m right here, hoping that someone would see me waving, recognize themselves in me and approach me, so we could find comfort in each other’s existence,” and to that end, I think the book is successful. Perhaps in a culture where mental health is just not talked about, transcribing and publishing one’s therapy sessions is itself a bold act, and reading them is validating for those who feel alone in their struggles.
Like I said, it just wasn’t for me. And that’s okay.
So I don’t hold it against Baek Sehee that this book missed the mark for me. It was wildly popular in Korea, so it has accomplished its goal, it has nothing to prove to me whatsoever.
However, since I did read it, here are my thoughts: it did a remarkable job of really highlighting the differences in how mental health is treated in Korea versus America. I audibly gasped at some of the things being said by the psychiatrist, like “Don’t think about the future too much. Your anxiety can become a burden to others” (page 57). That sort of professional advice would not be tolerated here.
I really didn’t find the format of this book very useful. It had potential, but more than anything I felt as though the therapy transcripts sort of became repetitive and didn’t quite go anywhere. Perhaps that’s the point—to show that progress is slow and doesn’t always announce itself in flashing neon letters, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening.
I understand that Sehee’s aim was to, in her words, “hold my hand up high and shout, I’m right here, hoping that someone would see me waving, recognize themselves in me and approach me, so we could find comfort in each other’s existence,” and to that end, I think the book is successful. Perhaps in a culture where mental health is just not talked about, transcribing and publishing one’s therapy sessions is itself a bold act, and reading them is validating for those who feel alone in their struggles.
Like I said, it just wasn’t for me. And that’s okay.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Alcohol, Fatphobia, Bullying, and Domestic abuse
parasolcrafter's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
fast-paced
4.0
this book wasnt what i thought it was going to be when i went into it (story-telling wise!) but it was a really interesting & raw look into one persons life and her struggles and how she tries to overcome it with therapy and medication and how it isnt a quick, immediate fix like some people think it is
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Alcohol, Body shaming, Bullying, and Fatphobia
Moderate: Suicidal thoughts, Domestic abuse, and Child abuse
Minor: Homophobia
yaoipaddle's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
3.5
3.5 stars
Better than I thought. I read it in about one day!
I really related to Se-hee at times and it is always nice to feel seen. What I really liked was this just bringing back memories of sessions with my own therapist.
I didn't like how the front had the mix of essays and transcripts but then it abruptly stopped and only had essays at the end. I wish it was more evenly spaced out. I am not sure if all the essays at the end were added in the translated version or later releases. I would like to know.
If you like memoirs and have been a 20-something year old woman with low self esteem you may like this. To be honest I find Se-hee including parts about herself that I didn't really like made the book feel more honest. Not like we have to fully like someone to like their book. Kinda the whole point and weird if you feel like you have to.
Better than I thought. I read it in about one day!
I really related to Se-hee at times and it is always nice to feel seen. What I really liked was this just bringing back memories of sessions with my own therapist.
I didn't like how the front had the mix of essays and transcripts but then it abruptly stopped and only had essays at the end. I wish it was more evenly spaced out. I am not sure if all the essays at the end were added in the translated version or later releases. I would like to know.
If you like memoirs and have been a 20-something year old woman with low self esteem you may like this. To be honest I find Se-hee including parts about herself that I didn't really like made the book feel more honest. Not like we have to fully like someone to like their book. Kinda the whole point and weird if you feel like you have to.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness, Classism, Body shaming, Domestic abuse, Fatphobia, Sexism, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Child abuse, and Toxic friendship
Moderate: Eating disorder and Racism
joshuahc's review against another edition
dark
reflective
sad
medium-paced
2.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Mental illness, and Fatphobia
Moderate: Domestic abuse and Emotional abuse
Minor: Suicidal thoughts, Homophobia, Alcohol, Alcoholism, and Xenophobia
cooper_reads_books's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
fast-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Alcohol, Suicidal thoughts, Mental illness, Body shaming, Dysphoria, and Toxic friendship
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, Homophobia, Lesbophobia, and Domestic abuse
james1star's review against another edition
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.5
Title: 100/5 ⭐️
Cover: 20/5 ⭐️
Content and execution: 3.5/5⭐️
This is marketed as a mental health / self help / memoir but I don’t think that’s really an accurate description. It’s basically a transcript of Baek’s sessions with her psychiatrist and then some observations. “This is a record of a very ordinary, incomplete person who meets another very ordinary, incomplete person, the latter of whom happens to be a therapist.” So I think it was okay but not necessarily what I had expected or offered anything that insightful/different. There was parts I (and others from reading reviews) can relate to and understand about depression, anxiety, low self-esteem and others. Baek begins her sessions talking about past trauma (issues of domestic abuse, unhealthy relationship with her older sister to whom she depended on, embarrassment over her social status, passivity in romanic relationships, being bullied at school that made her scared of straying from the herd and some others) and then in her sessions talks over what was happening in her life at the time and how she’s feeling. Her psychiatrist does help, offering some good advice but at times what they say don’t seem to be the most helpful or put across in the best way. Two examples: “…don’t think about the future too much. Your anxiety can become a burden to others.” And “I understand this need of yours to confirm, but I think the way you go about it is perhaps a little… childish?” I don’t have any experience in psychology but do have some with mental health professionals so maybe I’m not the best judge - however, this argument is picked up in some other reviews by professionals.
I also don’t think the writing was all that good, it seemed a bit basic at times and just wasn’t too engaging. I understand it’s a transcript for most of this book and so the things people have said orally written down so there’s little editing one can do but this follows through to the parts where the author is summarising parts and her observations. It’s possible that the nuance, meaning and eloquence was lost in translation.
What follows are my notes and some quotes that stuck out to me. I am glad I did read this as parts I could resonate with and take from it into my own life. But I would say it’s not worth the hype and there are better variations of what this book was trying to do. Exceptional title but average reading experience.
“But the idea that I’m actually normal is somehow even more weird to me”
Likely she has dysthymia - persistent depressive disorder
Hedgehog’s dilemma - contradictory state of longing for intimacy but also wanting to keep others at arm’s length. “I have always wanted to be alone, yet always hated being alone.”
“The assurance that I’m fine makes me want to cry with relief, how embarrassing.”
Self-surveillance, psych says “forgetfulness can be liberating”
“Don’t compare yourself to other people. Compare yourself to your past self.”
“You have this superego that exerts control over you, a superego built not only from your own experiences but cobbled together from all sorts of things that you admire, creating an idealised version of yourself. But that idealised version of yourself is, in the end, only an ideal. It's not who you actually are. You keep failing to meet that ideal in the real world…”
“I believe that the more I look into this strange being, myself, the more routes I will find to happiness.”
Humans beings are three-dimensional - try looking at people like this more
“The unhappiness floats to the top like oil while the happiness sinks below. But the container that holds both is what we call life, and that's where I find solace and joy. I'm sad, but I'm alive, and living through it.”
“I'm very good at objectifying myself, you see. I know I'm not ugly. But I'm not pretty, either. I know I'm just ordinary, and I hate that even more.”
“The social gaze is so insidious, and despite any escape being impossible, I want to escape it.” … “I don't know why an individual has to be treated as less-than and strive to fit society's standards when it's the people who denigrate others who are the real problem.”
Limit use of modifiers like age, job, education and stuff - it adds pressure that we may not be able to fulfil
Content Warnings
Graphic: Mental illness
Minor: Alcohol, Alcoholism, Bullying, Domestic abuse, Eating disorder, and Fatphobia