3.99 AVERAGE


Starting off with a positive note - main ideas that are depicted in this book are fabulous - easy to understand, helps to notice your partner's needs using simple methods. However, it could have easily fit in a lengthy article. Examples are garbage, loaded with American christian values and marital roles. People felt (and probably were) fake, there was no depth behind them, love expressions were always set around housework. Also the statements about sex (women having to form emotional attachments prior to it and men being controlled by too much sperm) were out-dated and not backed by anything other than author's claims. Which brings us to the author. The way how he displays himself as a savior and the thanks from "couples" (let's be real - they're not) in every single chapter (sometimes multiple times) is a bit god - complex-y . Also depicted here is that any marriage can and should be saved even when the partner is downright abusive, even better - why not have sex with them too, though they are actually unwilling to put work into relationship themselves. Just forgive and forget:)
Last but not least - what was the point of the story of throwing the cat against the wall? Why was it mentioned? Did it add anything to the book or reading experience?

Makes you think, makes you want to improve things in your marriage...
hopeful informative reflective medium-paced

“We can recognize the in-love experience for what it was—a temporary emotional high—and now pursue “real love” with our spouse. That kind of love is emotional in nature but not obsessional. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth. Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.

That kind of love requires effort and discipline. It is the choice to expend energy in an effort to benefit the other person, knowing that if his or her life is enriched by your effort, you too will find a sense of satisfaction—the satisfaction of having genuinely loved another. It does not require the euphoria of the “in love” experience. In fact, true love cannot begin until the “in love” experience has run its course.”

Some of it had too much of a religious slant for my liking (and some old school misogyny) - nonetheless, a crucial read.

I've been recommended this book in the past, and I keep coming across references to the languages in other books or discussions etc, so I finally picked it up.
It is short, has a lot of examples in the form of people's stories and is generally a really easy read. For me it was a bit heavy on the assumption that the reader is married and in a stage where the marriage isn't going well, as well as the frequent mention of Christianity. However, I was able to look past that for the most part.
The languages are explained well, I like the distinction of speaking different dialects of them as well as the warning that using these to control someone else is not the way it works. Overall glad I read it, mainly because of the clarifications that the people referring to the different languages never seem to get into.

2.5 stars. Contains a few kernels of wisdom, if you’re willing to wade through the sea of heteronormativity, conservative Christianity, and out-of-touchness of it all (being published in ‘92). Probably useful and enjoyable for some folks, but this impulse-download didn’t feel worth it for me.

Mostly read this to better understand my Fiance's love languages (touch/quality time), and ended up reaffirming to myself that yup, I definitely speak the language of gifts. I also realized that words of affirmation are also very important to me. Anyway, this was good to read going into a marriage, and I would definitely encourage those in relationships to at least read the chapters on the love languages themselves.

Armastus on lahke

The Five Love Languages book was given to me as a wedding gift along with my spouse receiving a copy too for us to read together. I absolutely loved this book and will be rereading the book again most likely because of how many practical ideas/advice/tips are present in the book. This book helped me understand not only my own love language but also my husband’s love language and how we both receive love in unique/different ways. I learned to understand our differences and how we can show love to eachother in a way that means something to the person. My husband also enjoyed the book and took notes on his Kindle on the parts that stood out, which gave us talking points. I highly recommend this book for newly wed couples or even couples who have been married for a long time because it could be the exact thing that helps you understand your partner better.
informative inspiring reflective