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3.99 AVERAGE
3.99 AVERAGE
The Five Love Languages book was given to me as a wedding gift along with my spouse receiving a copy too for us to read together. I absolutely loved this book and will be rereading the book again most likely because of how many practical ideas/advice/tips are present in the book. This book helped me understand not only my own love language but also my husband’s love language and how we both receive love in unique/different ways. I learned to understand our differences and how we can show love to eachother in a way that means something to the person. My husband also enjoyed the book and took notes on his Kindle on the parts that stood out, which gave us talking points. I highly recommend this book for newly wed couples or even couples who have been married for a long time because it could be the exact thing that helps you understand your partner better.
informative
inspiring
reflective
Got into this book because it always sells so well, and I thought "gotta be a reason, huh?" But I didn't expect to like it so much! Hardly any sexism (although it is quite heterosexual). I feel very loved!
This book could be boiled down to "figure out what your partner likes, and do more of that for them".
No, seriously, that's essentially it.
The author suggests that people like to receive love in one of five main ways: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch. acts of service, receiving gifts.
I had heard of this concept years ago and thought it a reasonably good idea, but saw no need into reading the book. and honestly, the book doesn't add a whole lot. The concepts are pretty easy to explain. But just to clear up a few misconceptions:
1) to some extent, these can apply to other interpersonal relationships, not just romantic ones
2) everyone likely needs a minimum amount of each of these love languages, to some extent. Most people would be unhappy if they never spent time together or never had any physical contact, for example. But the question is, beyond a moderate amount of each language, which does someone really thrive on?
3) gifts aren't about being greedy. It's about attaching a lot of sentimental value to physical objects. Someone who has gifts as their primary love language would treasure a handmade card from their child, or the necklace grandma passed down, or that cheap souvenir their partner bought in the airport.
I'm not certain five love languages is comprehensive or nuanced enough. And the author speaks only to the way people like to RECEIVE love - not how they like to show affection. This is because the author doesn't care how you like to show affection. If your partner needs something that you are uncomfortable giving - too bad, suck it up and do it. I think that's unfortunate. I feel people can benefit from understanding how they and their partner enjoy sharing affection. It could also be useful when considering potential partners, to make the most optimal matches.
I don't care for the author's overly religious viewpoint. And he hints strongly at the disturbing belief that people should never, ever get divorced, even in the case of abusive relationships. He doesn't come right out and say that, but from reading between the lines I feel that's his opinion, especially in the part about mending a relationship with someone who hates you.
So again: talk to your partner. Figure out how they like to be treated. Do those things for them. If the five love languages give you some talking points to start with, great. Beyond that, I'm not confident this book adds value.
No, seriously, that's essentially it.
The author suggests that people like to receive love in one of five main ways: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch. acts of service, receiving gifts.
I had heard of this concept years ago and thought it a reasonably good idea, but saw no need into reading the book. and honestly, the book doesn't add a whole lot. The concepts are pretty easy to explain. But just to clear up a few misconceptions:
1) to some extent, these can apply to other interpersonal relationships, not just romantic ones
2) everyone likely needs a minimum amount of each of these love languages, to some extent. Most people would be unhappy if they never spent time together or never had any physical contact, for example. But the question is, beyond a moderate amount of each language, which does someone really thrive on?
3) gifts aren't about being greedy. It's about attaching a lot of sentimental value to physical objects. Someone who has gifts as their primary love language would treasure a handmade card from their child, or the necklace grandma passed down, or that cheap souvenir their partner bought in the airport.
I'm not certain five love languages is comprehensive or nuanced enough. And the author speaks only to the way people like to RECEIVE love - not how they like to show affection. This is because the author doesn't care how you like to show affection. If your partner needs something that you are uncomfortable giving - too bad, suck it up and do it. I think that's unfortunate. I feel people can benefit from understanding how they and their partner enjoy sharing affection. It could also be useful when considering potential partners, to make the most optimal matches.
I don't care for the author's overly religious viewpoint. And he hints strongly at the disturbing belief that people should never, ever get divorced, even in the case of abusive relationships. He doesn't come right out and say that, but from reading between the lines I feel that's his opinion, especially in the part about mending a relationship with someone who hates you.
So again: talk to your partner. Figure out how they like to be treated. Do those things for them. If the five love languages give you some talking points to start with, great. Beyond that, I'm not confident this book adds value.
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.5 Stars
The 5 Love Languages seems logical to me. It makes sense that people prefer to receive love in a certain way and that they also tend to give love in the way that they themselves prefer to receive it. Knowing which languages are your primary and secondary, as well as your spouse's (or really anyone you care about) love language can be vital to having a deep and satisfying relationship. I appreciated that each chapter had a list of possible gestures to try for each love language (words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch, and quality time). I agree that the book is heteronormative, but I do not see the point in complaining about that as other reviewers have--Chapman is writing a book for a Christian audience and has primarily counseled straight couples. However, I will say I was deeply troubled by one of the examples Chapman gave of counseling a woman whose husband would not even come in for couples' therapy, in which he suggests she engage in unenjoyable sex with her partner in hopes that he will begin to do more things for and with her (his love language is physical affection). According to Chapman, it worked and the marriage was saved, but, as a woman, I found that suggestion off-putting and demeaning.
The 5 Love Languages seems logical to me. It makes sense that people prefer to receive love in a certain way and that they also tend to give love in the way that they themselves prefer to receive it. Knowing which languages are your primary and secondary, as well as your spouse's (or really anyone you care about) love language can be vital to having a deep and satisfying relationship. I appreciated that each chapter had a list of possible gestures to try for each love language (words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch, and quality time). I agree that the book is heteronormative, but I do not see the point in complaining about that as other reviewers have--Chapman is writing a book for a Christian audience and has primarily counseled straight couples. However, I will say I was deeply troubled by one of the examples Chapman gave of counseling a woman whose husband would not even come in for couples' therapy, in which he suggests she engage in unenjoyable sex with her partner in hopes that he will begin to do more things for and with her (his love language is physical affection). According to Chapman, it worked and the marriage was saved, but, as a woman, I found that suggestion off-putting and demeaning.
informative
reflective
medium-paced
informative
medium-paced
2/2.5 out of 5 stars
They had me in the first half, not gonna lie 😅 I was enjoying this read and despite this book being written in the 90s and being very heteronormative, I thought there were some great points about love languages and how to connect with your partner.
.....then I hit the chapter on acts of service as a love language and it went WILDLY downhill from there. I don't thinks acts of service are how Chapman views them: this chapter was literally about a man who didn't want to do any chores and who was mad that his wife who worked full time AND took care of their baby full time couldn't do all of them on top of everything else she was already doing. Chapman does say that someone who views acts of service as a love language might need to reevaluate what they view as traditional gender roles, which is at least a good acknowledgment, but I personally thought this chapter was ridiculous. It is not an "act of service" to help your partner make a dinner that you BOTH will be eating.
Also, not the entire chapter about the guy who fell out of love with his wife and cheated on her and then was so upset after his cheating relationship fell apart he went to counseling 🙃🫠 this book absolutely lost me in the last few chapters when he went a little too religious and encouraged women to stay in abusive relationships. Chapter 12 actually ruined the book for me, which is quite a shame since I did enjoy a lot of the earlier chapters. Would be very curious about others thoughts on this book!
They had me in the first half, not gonna lie 😅 I was enjoying this read and despite this book being written in the 90s and being very heteronormative, I thought there were some great points about love languages and how to connect with your partner.
.....then I hit the chapter on acts of service as a love language and it went WILDLY downhill from there. I don't thinks acts of service are how Chapman views them: this chapter was literally about a man who didn't want to do any chores and who was mad that his wife who worked full time AND took care of their baby full time couldn't do all of them on top of everything else she was already doing. Chapman does say that someone who views acts of service as a love language might need to reevaluate what they view as traditional gender roles, which is at least a good acknowledgment, but I personally thought this chapter was ridiculous. It is not an "act of service" to help your partner make a dinner that you BOTH will be eating.
Also, not the entire chapter about the guy who fell out of love with his wife and cheated on her and then was so upset after his cheating relationship fell apart he went to counseling 🙃🫠 this book absolutely lost me in the last few chapters when he went a little too religious and encouraged women to stay in abusive relationships. Chapter 12 actually ruined the book for me, which is quite a shame since I did enjoy a lot of the earlier chapters. Would be very curious about others thoughts on this book!