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3.99 AVERAGE
3.99 AVERAGE
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.5 Stars
The 5 Love Languages seems logical to me. It makes sense that people prefer to receive love in a certain way and that they also tend to give love in the way that they themselves prefer to receive it. Knowing which languages are your primary and secondary, as well as your spouse's (or really anyone you care about) love language can be vital to having a deep and satisfying relationship. I appreciated that each chapter had a list of possible gestures to try for each love language (words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch, and quality time). I agree that the book is heteronormative, but I do not see the point in complaining about that as other reviewers have--Chapman is writing a book for a Christian audience and has primarily counseled straight couples. However, I will say I was deeply troubled by one of the examples Chapman gave of counseling a woman whose husband would not even come in for couples' therapy, in which he suggests she engage in unenjoyable sex with her partner in hopes that he will begin to do more things for and with her (his love language is physical affection). According to Chapman, it worked and the marriage was saved, but, as a woman, I found that suggestion off-putting and demeaning.
The 5 Love Languages seems logical to me. It makes sense that people prefer to receive love in a certain way and that they also tend to give love in the way that they themselves prefer to receive it. Knowing which languages are your primary and secondary, as well as your spouse's (or really anyone you care about) love language can be vital to having a deep and satisfying relationship. I appreciated that each chapter had a list of possible gestures to try for each love language (words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch, and quality time). I agree that the book is heteronormative, but I do not see the point in complaining about that as other reviewers have--Chapman is writing a book for a Christian audience and has primarily counseled straight couples. However, I will say I was deeply troubled by one of the examples Chapman gave of counseling a woman whose husband would not even come in for couples' therapy, in which he suggests she engage in unenjoyable sex with her partner in hopes that he will begin to do more things for and with her (his love language is physical affection). According to Chapman, it worked and the marriage was saved, but, as a woman, I found that suggestion off-putting and demeaning.
informative
reflective
medium-paced
informative
medium-paced
2/2.5 out of 5 stars
They had me in the first half, not gonna lie 😅 I was enjoying this read and despite this book being written in the 90s and being very heteronormative, I thought there were some great points about love languages and how to connect with your partner.
.....then I hit the chapter on acts of service as a love language and it went WILDLY downhill from there. I don't thinks acts of service are how Chapman views them: this chapter was literally about a man who didn't want to do any chores and who was mad that his wife who worked full time AND took care of their baby full time couldn't do all of them on top of everything else she was already doing. Chapman does say that someone who views acts of service as a love language might need to reevaluate what they view as traditional gender roles, which is at least a good acknowledgment, but I personally thought this chapter was ridiculous. It is not an "act of service" to help your partner make a dinner that you BOTH will be eating.
Also, not the entire chapter about the guy who fell out of love with his wife and cheated on her and then was so upset after his cheating relationship fell apart he went to counseling 🙃🫠this book absolutely lost me in the last few chapters when he went a little too religious and encouraged women to stay in abusive relationships. Chapter 12 actually ruined the book for me, which is quite a shame since I did enjoy a lot of the earlier chapters. Would be very curious about others thoughts on this book!
They had me in the first half, not gonna lie 😅 I was enjoying this read and despite this book being written in the 90s and being very heteronormative, I thought there were some great points about love languages and how to connect with your partner.
.....then I hit the chapter on acts of service as a love language and it went WILDLY downhill from there. I don't thinks acts of service are how Chapman views them: this chapter was literally about a man who didn't want to do any chores and who was mad that his wife who worked full time AND took care of their baby full time couldn't do all of them on top of everything else she was already doing. Chapman does say that someone who views acts of service as a love language might need to reevaluate what they view as traditional gender roles, which is at least a good acknowledgment, but I personally thought this chapter was ridiculous. It is not an "act of service" to help your partner make a dinner that you BOTH will be eating.
Also, not the entire chapter about the guy who fell out of love with his wife and cheated on her and then was so upset after his cheating relationship fell apart he went to counseling 🙃🫠this book absolutely lost me in the last few chapters when he went a little too religious and encouraged women to stay in abusive relationships. Chapter 12 actually ruined the book for me, which is quite a shame since I did enjoy a lot of the earlier chapters. Would be very curious about others thoughts on this book!
Unnecessary religion insertions. Otherwise nice intro to basic psychological ideas about relationships - could/should have been about 10% the length.
This book is a quick and easy read. There is a lot of useful information packed into it. Yes, it does get cheesy at times but it is still worth reading and thinking about the concepts. The only part that I felt got REAL preachy was the afterword. Other than that, yeah there are religious references and some bible verses but I didn’t feel like they were putting the bible in a burlap sack and beating me with it. I feel like those parts should be read with a grain of salt and fill in who you worship as part of your faith or if that is no one then fill in with other favorite quotes. The concepts are definitely deserving of thought because I feel like a lot of us might fall into the trap of trying to communicate with our loved ones using the language that we speak or that we learned. Finding out the language that everyone speaks and trying to meet them on that level is great advice for anyone.
informative
slow-paced
A lot of Bible references that made me roll my eyes. One couple hates each other and he quotes the Bible and second marriage divorce statistics. He (Gary Chapman) is a miracle in a different couple's relationship.
The concept is good but I wouldn't recommend the book to anyone. Surely, there's a summary on the internet.
The concept is good but I wouldn't recommend the book to anyone. Surely, there's a summary on the internet.
sad
medium-paced