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3.99 AVERAGE
3.99 AVERAGE
This book was enlightening... logically, it all makes sense but the real-life examples he provides are extremely helpful to understand scenarios and circumstances, and how they can impact your relationship. Regardless if your marriage is perfection or on the rocks or somewhere in between, I recommend reading this. There's even a little quiz at the end to help you figure out your love language(s).
This is a decent framework for different ways to express love to each other, and a decent reminder to do so, but padded out waaay too long to make it a book. Also, the stereotypical gender roles are infuriating, and the overt religiousness at the end is gross, especially when it's used to convince a wife with a hateful husband to have sex with him.
To save you some misery, here's a summary: identify how you and your spouse prefer to have love expressed to you, and be more intentional about doing it the way they prefer. The five categories this author suggests are words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. (You're welcome.)
To save you some misery, here's a summary: identify how you and your spouse prefer to have love expressed to you, and be more intentional about doing it the way they prefer. The five categories this author suggests are words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. (You're welcome.)
"The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts" by Gary Chapman is an interesting book, very thought-provoking and written in a clear, immediate style.
The only thing that doesn't work is the author's clichéd and naive ideas about women's sexuality: those made me cringe!
Aside from those defaillances, I found this a fascinating, insightful read.
The only thing that doesn't work is the author's clichéd and naive ideas about women's sexuality: those made me cringe!
Aside from those defaillances, I found this a fascinating, insightful read.
While the idea of five Love languages has merit in shaping better communication between couples, this book rambled on for much longer than necessary and the misogyny was pretty hard to choke down. Who the fuck counsels someone who doesn't love their partner (and has expressed their partner abuses them verbally and emotionally) to actively have sex with them?
There's a reason why this is an international bestseller and why you don't go a week without hearing about love languages. The core of the book is groundbreaking and helpful and applicable to countless types of interpersonal relationships -- but you can learn about the concept without reading the book. Anyway, that's why I gave it 4 stars. It's helped a lot of people!
I didn't know going in, by my own ignorance, that this was published 30 years ago and that the author was a southern baptist preacher who is now in his 80s. The case studies reflect a very narrow type of relationship dynamic from the 60s/70s/80s. For example, a story told in this book of a husband "facing his stereotypes about men and women" revolved around him having to challenge his core belief that "husbands don't change diapers." The views expressed about sex and gender (women are driven by emotions & men by biology; teenagers have sex because they are unloved by their parents; etc) ......match the author's profile.
The archaic and limited nature of all of the case studies means that while there are plenty of lessons to take away here, you have to do a lot of the mental work while you read to apply the principles to your own modern and/or queer and/or secular and/or etc relationship. I feel like this would make the book not particularly worth it to a majority of people nowadays.
I didn't know going in, by my own ignorance, that this was published 30 years ago and that the author was a southern baptist preacher who is now in his 80s. The case studies reflect a very narrow type of relationship dynamic from the 60s/70s/80s. For example, a story told in this book of a husband "facing his stereotypes about men and women" revolved around him having to challenge his core belief that "husbands don't change diapers." The views expressed about sex and gender (women are driven by emotions & men by biology; teenagers have sex because they are unloved by their parents; etc) ......match the author's profile.
The archaic and limited nature of all of the case studies means that while there are plenty of lessons to take away here, you have to do a lot of the mental work while you read to apply the principles to your own modern and/or queer and/or secular and/or etc relationship. I feel like this would make the book not particularly worth it to a majority of people nowadays.
Although I am not married, this book has been very insightful and useful! I’ve heard that this book by Dr. Gary Chapman was a game-changer for marriages/romantic relationships, so I wanted to see why. I think a lot of marriages in my family would be greatly affected and helped by the ideas and implementations this book made/offers for a “full love tank.”
I loved how Dr. Chapman was so liberal with the examples and experiences of couples he counseled or helped through his work with the 5 love languages. I also liked how he wrote this book for anyone and everyone, both religious and non-religious people, because he truly believes (and I do, too) that most if not all marriages would be “reborn” if couples knew their own and each other’s primary love language, so their tanks can be full to the brim! I highly recommend this book if you are married, engaged, dating, or just want to learn a thing or two about what really keeps the flame of romance burning.
Now I need to read his 5 love languages book for singles. I think it would be very helpful in my time/season of life at the moment.
I loved how Dr. Chapman was so liberal with the examples and experiences of couples he counseled or helped through his work with the 5 love languages. I also liked how he wrote this book for anyone and everyone, both religious and non-religious people, because he truly believes (and I do, too) that most if not all marriages would be “reborn” if couples knew their own and each other’s primary love language, so their tanks can be full to the brim! I highly recommend this book if you are married, engaged, dating, or just want to learn a thing or two about what really keeps the flame of romance burning.
Now I need to read his 5 love languages book for singles. I think it would be very helpful in my time/season of life at the moment.
I tried to read it all, but it became evident how predictive each section was. Instead, I took the quiz and sent it to my husband so I can read on our love languages.
hopeful
medium-paced