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3.99 AVERAGE
3.99 AVERAGE
This is a good book, and an easy read. However, I wouldn’t recommend it to everyone. While a lot of what the author says is good advice to remember and apply to your marriage, most all of his advice should be taken with a grain of salt. It would be easy to misunderstand or twist his intent. The concept of a “love tank” that needs to be filled is pretty selfish and i think doesn’t exemplify what marriage is all about. The truth is, our love tanks won’t always be filled in marriage. Sometimes they will be, but other times they won’t. And that doesn’t give anyone in the relationship the right to act out, ignore their spouse, or even leave.
Also, the “love language” concept is nice to remember, and when seeking to love and serve your spouse it’s very helpful. But that too can become selfish if we begin to resent our spouse for not communicating in our love language, or refuse to accept other acts of love. The book is full of examples of couples having problems where the wife, for example, says she feels no love coming from her husband. But he insists he does lots of chores around the house and helps with anything she asks. And yet she doesn’t appreciate him because he apparently isn’t “speaking her language.” That’s a dangerous concept to fall into.
Overall, I’m glad I read this book and it is good advice that I will seek to remember and apply. But I do fear that this concept and advice is far too easy to take out of context.
Also, the “love language” concept is nice to remember, and when seeking to love and serve your spouse it’s very helpful. But that too can become selfish if we begin to resent our spouse for not communicating in our love language, or refuse to accept other acts of love. The book is full of examples of couples having problems where the wife, for example, says she feels no love coming from her husband. But he insists he does lots of chores around the house and helps with anything she asks. And yet she doesn’t appreciate him because he apparently isn’t “speaking her language.” That’s a dangerous concept to fall into.
Overall, I’m glad I read this book and it is good advice that I will seek to remember and apply. But I do fear that this concept and advice is far too easy to take out of context.
Lots of Jesus themes. That aspect wasn’t a fit for me, didn’t give me the underlying rational it would for others but the science spoke enough for me to finish it and take something away.
Devoured this on audio while on a long drive. I think everyone in a relationship needs to read this book. The author himself narrates the audio, which is always nice
informative
medium-paced
2.5
We’re celebrating our 20th anniversary so it seemed like the right time to finally read this book that a friend loaned me. I give this 3 stars for content and 2 stars for writing. Decent info, sort of laboriously delivered. Way too dumbed down, as though these folks have never had a relationship in their life. Way too self-aggrandizing. With minimal analysis, Dr. Chapman can turn your marriage around. Way too Christiany and hetero. And WAY too simplistic "advice" (if you're not doing it right, do it differently!). Still, overall it's a decent concept for relationship communication and it's short and simple enough to ask your partner to read if needs be. But don't buy it; borrow from the library.
ETA:
Ok, when my husband read this, he could barely stomach it. I told him to skim but that wasn’t his style. Instead he pointed out stupid or corny statements and we laughed ourselves through it. It’s rough. Certainly there is an outline version that could do the trick in less than 10 pages…
We’re celebrating our 20th anniversary so it seemed like the right time to finally read this book that a friend loaned me. I give this 3 stars for content and 2 stars for writing. Decent info, sort of laboriously delivered. Way too dumbed down, as though these folks have never had a relationship in their life. Way too self-aggrandizing. With minimal analysis, Dr. Chapman can turn your marriage around. Way too Christiany and hetero. And WAY too simplistic "advice" (if you're not doing it right, do it differently!). Still, overall it's a decent concept for relationship communication and it's short and simple enough to ask your partner to read if needs be. But don't buy it; borrow from the library.
ETA:
Ok, when my husband read this, he could barely stomach it. I told him to skim but that wasn’t his style. Instead he pointed out stupid or corny statements and we laughed ourselves through it. It’s rough. Certainly there is an outline version that could do the trick in less than 10 pages…
Required reading for a retreat I'm going on in May. Maybe it's because my mom talked about it so much but there wasn't a lot to learn from it for me. I finished it in about 2 hours. Could see it being really great for people who struggle with communicating their feelings effectively.
I 100% agree with this book, Bible quotes aside. I think too many people give up on long term love- thinking love is lust. If you have a partner that loves and values you, this is gold. If you don't.. Well, this book will help you figure that out.
Love language was such a hot topic a few years ago, and everyone was asking each other what their love language was, whether it was quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, and receiving gifts. It was good to read this book to learn the origin of the idea.
For the most part, Chapman gives sound advice on communicating more effectively with your partner. I think the idea of breaking it down to five love languages makes it more simpler for people to understand and implement in their daily life, but some of the examples he gave in the book seems pretty absurd. It is definitely one of those books where you have to be a little critical in heeding its advice and only using the parts that may apply to your situation instead of taking it as face value.
For the most part, Chapman gives sound advice on communicating more effectively with your partner. I think the idea of breaking it down to five love languages makes it more simpler for people to understand and implement in their daily life, but some of the examples he gave in the book seems pretty absurd. It is definitely one of those books where you have to be a little critical in heeding its advice and only using the parts that may apply to your situation instead of taking it as face value.
informative