3.99 AVERAGE


2017 Reading Challenge
This year I'm doing a Reading Challenge; so I have 26 books with specific subjects that I need to read.
BOOK21: A book that will improve a specific area of your life

I think every married couple should read this at least once.
Do the quiz and know what Love Language your partner speaks.

For the advice given in this book I give [a:Chapman|622|Gary Chapman|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1489420646p2/622.jpg] a five star rating.
The writing on the other hand was not that good. He tends to "speak" down to the reader, making you think - I am not that stupid. Also he repeats himself A LOT!

Reading this I think is the easy part: to practice what [a:Chapman|622|Gary Chapman|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1489420646p2/622.jpg] suggest is the difficult part.

thought provoking & interesting as a template for understanding how to communicate.

The language is deceivingly gender-neutral in that words like "spouse" attempt to cover up the blatant sexist gender roles and heterosexual language throughout the book.

That being said, I still really like the 5 love languages, so I was reading for the theory and not for the writing. Chapman could certainly use some editing, though.
medium-paced

This book is mysoginatic,  homophobic nd transphobic

It sucks!  Also love doesn't work this way guys!!! 

Not actively harmful, so that's something.

Read it after a friend of mine recommended it, and while facing some rough patches in my current relationship.
Although it is dated and written by a christian dude with some questionable views on gender roles, he does seem to make some interesting general points.

Can't believe it's only February and I'm already done with two self-help books.

The love languages themselves are a solid concept and decently explained in this book. However, many of the case studies and the whole second half of the book (after the languages) were kind of hard to stomach. The author is clearly a very traditional and religious white man, and is not-so-subtly trying to infuse his beliefs onto the reader. When he started quoting Bible versus is when I started checking out. And then he went on to advise a woman, who admitted she hates her husband and that he regularly verbally abuses and mistreats her, to basically have more sex with him because that's his love language, even though she said that makes her feel used. His advice to that? Read more of Jesus' teachings to get through it. Absolutely gross. 

Actual quote from the book:

"Glenn, you remember a few weeks ago when I told you I was going to try to be a better wife? I want to ask how you think I am doing." 

This to the man who mistreats and verbally abuses her.... Yeah, I'm out. This is the part of the book where he could have covered boundaries and when to know when to give up if your partner is not willing to work on saving the relationship with you. And then he basically ends the book encouraging the reader to become more religious thenselves and learn more about Jesus. 

It's a shame that the marriage concepts in this book, which are insightful and valid, are blended with this religious dogma and sexism that are infused throughout. Not to mention his pool of clients and case studies are all hetero white religious couples, totally not reflective of a modern society. I'd give the first part of the book (about the love languages) a 4/5, and the second half a 2/5. Overall review rounded to a 3.
challenging informative inspiring lighthearted medium-paced

This book came highly recommended. I think everyone needs to read this! Gary Chapman is awesome 😍

I guess this is the condensed version of the book I thought I ordered. It was ok, not as good as I heard it was.