You need to sign in or sign up before continuing.
Take a photo of a barcode or cover
3.99 AVERAGE
3.99 AVERAGE
Great concept that I think everyone should know as it encourages open communication as well as continuous striving to work on one's long-term relationship. But you would be much better off just doing some research of it online rather than picking up this book.
Why?
1. No empirical evidence or statistics provided. This is purely Chapman's observances and analogies of some of his SUCCESSFUL adventures as a couple's therapist. If you're looking for something that can be proved or is based in science, you won't find it here.
2. Extremely heteronormative. This book was re-released in 2015! Wouldn't you want your book to be as inclusive as possible to reach as many as you could?? But it relies on a lot of assumptions regarding couples and gender that get tiring to read.
3. Overly religious. If you're religious, great. If not: The Christian preachiness becoming a problem is most obvious to me in chp. 12. Sometimes divorce is the best option Gary.
4. But most of all, this concept could be explained just as well in a five minute TED talk without all the filler. This book is not gonna add anything you couldn't figure out on your own with a Google search.
2.1/5
Why?
1. No empirical evidence or statistics provided. This is purely Chapman's observances and analogies of some of his SUCCESSFUL adventures as a couple's therapist. If you're looking for something that can be proved or is based in science, you won't find it here.
2. Extremely heteronormative. This book was re-released in 2015! Wouldn't you want your book to be as inclusive as possible to reach as many as you could?? But it relies on a lot of assumptions regarding couples and gender that get tiring to read.
3. Overly religious. If you're religious, great. If not: The Christian preachiness becoming a problem is most obvious to me in chp. 12.
Spoiler
A woman who feels used and abused by her husband tells Chapman she does not feel comfortable engaging in sex with her spouse. Chapman's response is to conduct an "experiment" and have her force herself to engage in intercourse despite it being difficult saying she will have to "rely heavily upon your faith in God in order to do this". Chapman justifies this by reminding her that Jesus said to love your enemies. Barf.4. But most of all, this concept could be explained just as well in a five minute TED talk without all the filler. This book is not gonna add anything you couldn't figure out on your own with a Google search.
2.1/5
This has some of the most helpful and enlightening tips to better understanding your spouse. And honestly, yourself and anyone else in your life. So much perspective is given on how people are more or less receptive to certain treatment and how best to show you love them. You may think you are doing it right but in their eyes it is all wrong. This book explains it. SO if you don't feel appreciated by your partner or they complain a lot or seem unhappy (or if you are) read this book. Seriously, everyone I have ever spoken to that has read this has benefited. It makes sense, and, often times, the ideas here help a lot! While the book focuses on the spouse, I was able to identify how I can best show other family and friends that I care. It is amazing when you think about it how some things matter so much to one person yet so little to another. This really explains why a 20 minute conversation can mean so much, yet a backrub so little. Or why a simple card makes their week or would doing the dishes have a larger impact? This comes highly recommended!!!
This was a fast read I loaned from the library and was totally worth it! I love psychology and hope to do counseling some day. I’m also in a relationship (first one in my life) and feel learning/brushing up on communication and expressing love can strengthen our relationship. The Five Love Languages is very easy to read and simple and beats the point home but I feel they are points that deserve to be beaten into us. People give and receive love in different ways! The book has some biblical references but as an atheist myself, it didn’t bother me. It was just another way to phrase a definition/importance of love that may be powerful to some readers - I didn’t find it preachy at all. While this book is written more as “love languages of marriage and relationships” the concrete principles can be applied to loving communication is any relationship whether it be romantic, friends, or family.
I honestly recommend this book to everyone but ESPECIALLY if you are struggling to see the good and love in your current relationship.
I honestly recommend this book to everyone but ESPECIALLY if you are struggling to see the good and love in your current relationship.
Finally a marriage book that doesn't beat you with the God stick. Very sensible and easy to understand ideas and practical advice on how to use them. The stories aren't totally believable and I find the author a bit arrogant at times, but this doesn't hurt the message. Every couple should read this.
informative
reflective
slow-paced
This was a great read! I found it to be highly enlightening and insightful. There was a bit of God jargon in the beginning and more at the end, which tended to annoy me... but that's me. I also very much disagree with his theory that the woman at the end should keep changing herself so that her partner would/could change. BUT, if you skip that chapter, this is a brilliant book!
This book was recommended to my friend by her pastor to read before she got married. My assumption was that it would be religious in tone and not very relevant to today's relationships.
I'm so glad I was wrong! This is one of those books I would suggest everyone read. It is such a simple explanation of what can so often go wrong in relationships. It's not about men vs. women, it's about the way people receive love.
The basis is there are 5 Love Languages (obviously). And if you speak a different love language than your partner, then you may not feel loved.
The 5 Love Languages are:
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
I'm sure everyone responds to all of these in some way, but we all have a primary language. There is a great quiz in the back that can help you more quickly define yours. By reading the book, I knew what mine was, but the survey pinpointed it to a T and helped me rank mine by importance, even better than I think I could have done on my own.
This book will help you in your current relationships (of all kinds, not just romantic) and any future relationships you'll have. It really pinpoints how relationships can fall apart after the honeymoon period is over, even if you still love each other. It helps you understand how to show your love for someone else in a way that they'll best receive it.
I could give a bunch of examples from the book, but I want you to read it! So go get it from the library TODAY. Then share with me what your primary language is! I'd love to know everyone's. Mine is Words of Affirmation.
"Almost never do two people fall in love on the same day, and almost never do they fall out of love on the same day."
"Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself."
I'm so glad I was wrong! This is one of those books I would suggest everyone read. It is such a simple explanation of what can so often go wrong in relationships. It's not about men vs. women, it's about the way people receive love.
The basis is there are 5 Love Languages (obviously). And if you speak a different love language than your partner, then you may not feel loved.
The 5 Love Languages are:
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
I'm sure everyone responds to all of these in some way, but we all have a primary language. There is a great quiz in the back that can help you more quickly define yours. By reading the book, I knew what mine was, but the survey pinpointed it to a T and helped me rank mine by importance, even better than I think I could have done on my own.
This book will help you in your current relationships (of all kinds, not just romantic) and any future relationships you'll have. It really pinpoints how relationships can fall apart after the honeymoon period is over, even if you still love each other. It helps you understand how to show your love for someone else in a way that they'll best receive it.
I could give a bunch of examples from the book, but I want you to read it! So go get it from the library TODAY. Then share with me what your primary language is! I'd love to know everyone's. Mine is Words of Affirmation.
"Almost never do two people fall in love on the same day, and almost never do they fall out of love on the same day."
"Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself."
Absolutely respect and love this book!
The author, Dr. Chapman, created the 5 Love Languages and put a lot of thought into each of them.
Please read this, if you can.
The author, Dr. Chapman, created the 5 Love Languages and put a lot of thought into each of them.
Please read this, if you can.
I think this is a very interesting perspective on how to communicate love between spouses. I do think there are some love languages that might be missing like dance and music or experience in general. Also, one critique I have with many of these marriage books is that they immediately clamp down on the notion of romantic "hormonal" love which the author says goes away after 2 years on average. We are instructed to appreciate a more mature version of love. I say yes and no. There is an ebb and flow in life and love and I think that you can still have romance if both are willing.
Read this for marriage counseling, have lots of feelings about it. I like the concept but I am not a fan of the way it was presented in this book. Lots of feelings, icky overall.