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3.99 AVERAGE
3.99 AVERAGE
It got more religious in the last chapter of the book, and he kind of tried to justify having sex with a spouse even if you don’t want to because Jesus said love your enemy...
Interesting read.
Interesting read.
informative
fast-paced
I borrowed this audiobook from a friend, and it is difficult to convey how excruciating I found the experience of reading it. It was from the nineties, so perhaps parts of the book have been updated. Perhaps my expectations were too high, but this book failed to convey any new information whatsoever. Additionally, I found the author's reliance on rigid gender roles in his examples maddening. In fact, the whole structure of the book assumes that you have a hetero couple where the wife does not work outside the home, but the husband does. This book anticipates no variation on this formula, and all of the problems the author explores derive from this arrangement. Equally unwelcome was the moralistic sidebar on open marriages that failed to be relevant or interesting. Also, it is worth saying that if your husband refuses to do any housework whatsoever because "his mother did all the cleaning" then don't waste time trying to figure out his primary love language--get the hell out.
I've been using the 5 Love Languages as a tool for a while, and decided to finally read the book.
There's a lot of good stuff here, and it is presented in a way that's easy to understand, with examples that illustrate the points. The idea is, we each have a "love tank," and if our partner(s) aren't filling up our tank, we're not going to feel loved. So if, for example, my love language was "Words of Affirmation," and my partner is continually bringing me flowers, little gifts, I'm going to feel love-starved. I would need them to be telling me how gorgeous I am, how smart, sending me a text just to say they were thinking about me and how soft my lips are. So, these things can be learned.
Things I didn't care for:
1) Writer is coming from a Christian perspective. It wasn't obtrusively so, except in one small section, so unless that's one of your triggers, you may still find it useful. If you ARE Christian, this may make you feel better about reading this.
2) Heteronormative. All the couples written about are male/female. Still could be helpful, unless that bugs you.
3) Author is anti-polyamory/open marriage. Only voiced in a small section, and despite being polyamorous, I've gotten a lot of good out of this concept, with all my partners, and I know lots of other polyam people who have, as well. Would that please, or horrify the author?
All in all, worth a read, and a think.
There's a lot of good stuff here, and it is presented in a way that's easy to understand, with examples that illustrate the points. The idea is, we each have a "love tank," and if our partner(s) aren't filling up our tank, we're not going to feel loved. So if, for example, my love language was "Words of Affirmation," and my partner is continually bringing me flowers, little gifts, I'm going to feel love-starved. I would need them to be telling me how gorgeous I am, how smart, sending me a text just to say they were thinking about me and how soft my lips are. So, these things can be learned.
Things I didn't care for:
1) Writer is coming from a Christian perspective. It wasn't obtrusively so, except in one small section, so unless that's one of your triggers, you may still find it useful. If you ARE Christian, this may make you feel better about reading this.
2) Heteronormative. All the couples written about are male/female. Still could be helpful, unless that bugs you.
3) Author is anti-polyamory/open marriage. Only voiced in a small section, and despite being polyamorous, I've gotten a lot of good out of this concept, with all my partners, and I know lots of other polyam people who have, as well. Would that please, or horrify the author?
All in all, worth a read, and a think.
I like the concepts, but the presentation made it feel a bit dated. So many of the couples felt older and a bit old fashioned that it took away from the big message
I read this book years ago and it changed my life. I’ve come back around to it and, yet again, it has made a huge impact. Revisiting how to give and receive love properly definitely sparked some change in my own personal relationships! I wish everyone would read this book!
emotional
informative
inspiring
fast-paced
Spreading "Love" Knowledge
If a self help book is what you're looking for, this is a fair one. I bought this book to read about the five love languages and as I continued to read I realized that I knew them all along, BUT I was content with learning more about them and how complex yet simple they can be. A good refresher to my 10+ year relationship.
If a self help book is what you're looking for, this is a fair one. I bought this book to read about the five love languages and as I continued to read I realized that I knew them all along, BUT I was content with learning more about them and how complex yet simple they can be. A good refresher to my 10+ year relationship.
Loved this book. Gave great insights into how different people give and (like to) receive love, with relatable examples and exercises to apply to your own relationship.
The book is only a bit outdated in the sense that instead of using the word 'partner', the significant other is always referred to as the 'spouse'. Also it seems like the author thinks that many people get married within 2 years of falling in love, in the "in-love" stage. From my point of view, many couples nowadays either don't get married or after knowing each other for quite a few years.
Could use an update, but nevertheless very insightful and clear!
The book is only a bit outdated in the sense that instead of using the word 'partner', the significant other is always referred to as the 'spouse'. Also it seems like the author thinks that many people get married within 2 years of falling in love, in the "in-love" stage. From my point of view, many couples nowadays either don't get married or after knowing each other for quite a few years.
Could use an update, but nevertheless very insightful and clear!