Reviews

Man, this book. I wasn't expecting to be so into it, but it just got me. The angst and tension was just so perfect. I loved Miller and Church and what they were dealing with. Miller was a bit frustrating but it's also totally understandable that he would've internalized so much shit that even if he'd be okay with Church being gay, it wouldn't be something he'd readily accept about himself. (Although given that, it doesn't actually take him THAT long, all things considered, to get on board, so it wasn't too frustrating.)

There were a couple bits where I'd be worried about a misunderstanding or unnecessary drama, but then they played out perfectly.

Spoiler

Like the first time they hook up and Miller freaks out immediately afterwards, but his first reaction is basically, "I have to do whatever I can to make sure Church doesn't leave and realizes this was all my fault because I need him," and how after they have sex and Church is like, "Is now the time you bolt?" Miller's like, "I mean, we both know I'm just going to end up here again so why bother." And with the Vasya stuff, how Church is so sure Miller will hate him for it, but then he tells him everything and Miller gets it and isn't upset. And how when Church overhears him tell Shelby what they have isn't anything and Church gets upset and bolts, Miller can't keep up the "It's nothing," lie and tells her everything, and then when he finds out Church overheard, he's again just like, "I have to fix this and make it better." And how Church goes off but doesn't hurt anyone or himself and lets Miller get him as long as he doesn't talk. AND WHEN MILLER KISSES CHURCH PUBLICLY AFTER THE WAREHOUSE BURNS DOWN. This is becoming a mess at this point, but man, I just loved them, and I loved how all these moments that could've milked for extra, unnecessary drama weren't. There was some angst involved, but not an excessive amount, and both just love each other SO much even when Miller wasn't fully ready to admit it, and both were trying to be better people and make things work, and that just always gets to me. I also loved how after the time they almost kiss, both seem to realize they need to keep their distance, but they both end up being like, "Wow, this is really hard, and also I was touching him way more than I had realized whoops."

Beyond all of that, I loved Tobias and Ghost, and this made me eager for their books as well. I also loved Shelby and her acceptance and encouragement of Miller even when she was not sure about Church (more because of his past than him being a dude), and her daughter was also great. The conversation where she was trying to convince Church to buy her a vibrator was hilarious. Anyways I just loved this a lot and wasn't expecting to! It was so excellent.

becka6131's review against another edition

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5.0

ELMO FIRE GIF

This is so exactly my shit that it could have been grown in a lab for me. A+, would suffer again

haletostilinski1's review against another edition

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5.0

4.5 stars

This was really good! So many times I was basically forced to put it down (work, school, sleep, etc,) and I REALLY didn't want to. Most of the book had me going "but I don't want to put it down, I want to keep reading until the end!"

I do feel that this was kinda light on the steam, and that while the chemistry was good between Miller and Church, that because Miller was SO resistant to them, almost throughout the whole book, because of his internal homophobia, it felt like the chemistry was less than it could have been. Because Miller held back, it felt like the writing was holding back too. Don't get me wrong, there were a few really hot sex scenes...but when Miller was uncomfortable, I felt uncomfortable, and even as he enjoyed the sex, there was still always a line or part of Miller's internal dialogue that was STILL uncomfortable with it at the same time, so it lowered the chemistry and steam for me at times.

Still, this book was engaging, the characters intriguing and complex (I REALLy want the book for Ghost. I think Ghost might have been my favorite character in this book, even though he was secondary - and kinda scary at times. But that just makes me want to see him find love all the more.) and never one sided or one dimensional. Making me both frustrated and happy with Church and Miller at times made me love the writing even more (as well as with Shelby, who I ultimately loved but who had her moments of "really???" from me) and the story.

Ultimately I get why Miller was so resistant, why he was so scared, but that didn't make my frustration with him go away, even as I understood him. Same with Church, when Church blamed everything on himself -- I get WHY, with what his father did to him, how he was abused -- but that didn't make not frustrated when he thought it was all his fault when he was really just at the wrong place at the wrong time.

These were two very flawed and very real men, who were ultimately good men, who made bad decisions sometimes and said stupid things - but ultimately wanted to do the right thing and help others.

Low on steam this may have been for me, but I still loved Miller and Church together, their connection, their bond, how they fell in love.

Definitely enjoyed this book a lot, and can't wait for the next in the series :D

malex117's review against another edition

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3.0

First of all, thank you so much @MJ for this series! I got them as a present from my amazing friend and it was the sweetest surprise ever!

papercranestitches's review against another edition

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4.0

There was definitely some OTT drama here, but it didn't slide into cheese territory, so I quite enjoyed it.

bfdbookblog's review against another edition

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5.0

This book has been sitting on my kindle for a minute. This is a new to me, highly recommended author but I knew this would be a series I’d want to read without stopping. I also knew these books would not be easy reads, so I had to be in the right frame of mind. I really like Ms. Bell’s writing style and I can tell she’s going to be on my auto-read list indefinitely.

There is a lot going on in this book and it will definitely be a continuation series. The overlapping arc of the books will revolve primarily around Ghost but because of Church and Tobias’ friendship with him they get pulled in to the suspense with the Russian family (I wouldn’t go so far as to say mafia, but it is mafia-like on a small scale).

Church had a horrible childhood which led to a bad decision and his time in Woodbury. But it also led him to Miller. I dare say that Miller was just as messed up by his uber conservative (read homophobic and prejudice) upbringing. We’re given some flashbacks to when they first met which helps establish not only their friendship but how deeply their feelings run for each other. With Church back in his life, Miller is forced into introspection that he is ill-prepared to face and doesn’t handle well. Both men go through some growing pains which is tough to see at times but growing together makes them even stronger together. They are clearly soulmates and I never once doubted they belong together. Their romance is slow to build but oh so satisfying to watch.

I was not a fan of Miller’s sister, but his niece was awesome. The Russian family is hard to keep up with, but the characterization was on the mark. Tobias surprised me with his strength when he seems to be the most vulnerable. The author has some work to do with Ghost for me. I know there’s more there and I know it’s going to be tough but I’m not there yet. I’m almost afraid to work my way through to his book.

Needless to say (probably) this is a hell yeah from me but it’s not an easy, fluffy or light read so you need to be ready for it. And I’m moving on to book 2 now…

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