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clovetra's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
informative
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
3.0
i’m very conflicted on this book.
i want to say in no way shape or form do i want to criticise what the author wrote. i think raising awareness to the misogynistic culture of south korea is necessary, and the way it was done truly made me feel immersed in what it is like to be a woman in south korea.
i do think this book is necessary, especially considering the 4B movement has reached the west (as in, the knowledge of its existence in south korean culture).
purely from a reader’s perspective is why my star rating is so “low”.
this book kinda reminds me of a woman is no man by etaf rum, in that it’s:
- truthful, raw story adapted for “entertaining” purposes but could realistically be a real person’s life
- repeats the same themes & message surround misogyny without any new takes, going on and on with the same content
- incredibly disheartening to read as it feels like torture porn & gives you zero hope
- becomes stagnant around the middle of the story
- has an anticlimactic ending that slightly infuriates you (this “infuriating” comment more so applies to this book, whereas a woman is no man was solely anticlimactic)
also with a woman is no man, i feel scummy writing this review & giving negative feedback surrounding lives women very likely are actually living in the real world whilst i sit here prim and proper, not having to worry about if i will be discriminated against if i have kids (i won’t) or told to “suck it up” with workplace harassment.
i think i also went in with the wrong expectations - i expected the story to more heavily explain *why* jiyoung now channels women of her past. all i got was roughly ~30 pages of this which was probably the most disappointing aspect of the book for me. but i don’t really think i can hold this against the writer tbh - yet again my expectations for a book are out of wack 💀
like a woman is no man, i do think everyone should read this. i just don’t particularly “love” books about misogyny because u know…. i read to escape the real world…. i get enough sexism from existing thank u very much!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Misogyny, Pregnancy, Mental illness, and Sexism
Moderate: Bullying, Sexual harassment, Alcohol, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , and Mental illness
Minor: Classism
miaaa_lenaaa's review against another edition
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Still a 5 star slay
‘The world wants our uterus to be drug-free. Like sacred grounds in a virgin forest.'
‘The world wants our uterus to be drug-free. Like sacred grounds in a virgin forest.'
‘The girls stowed away repulsive, frightening experiences with males deep in their hearts without even realising it.’
'The world had changed a great deal, but the little rules, contracts and customs had not, which meant the world hadn't actually changed at all’
‘Do laws and institutions change values, or do values change laws and institutions?’
‘People who pop a painkiller at the smallest hint of a migraine, or who need anaesthetic cream to remove a mole, demand that women giving birth should gladly endure the pain, exhaustion and mortal fear.’
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse, Sexual harassment, Body shaming, Medical content, Misogyny, Pregnancy, Sexism, and Sexual assault
polypropylena's review against another edition
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism and Sexual harassment
madam_cyn's review against another edition
Worthy message and story, but it was just too unrelentingly awful to read about. I can imagine how dreadful such mysoginy would be to endure, but don't have to read about it. This book made me angry. Every Korean woman should be rising up and going on strike from relationships.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism, Emotional abuse, and Misogyny
melina_30's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
5.0
Wow. I think it's brilliant that we learn at the end, that this story is written by Jiyoung's therapist which explains the clinical and detached writing style. Also I'm in shok how the therapist didn't learn anything from the experiences of women in his life. Both his own wife and his patient Kim Jiyoung share their stuggle with mistreatment by men in their life and society in general but he doesn't seem to understand why they struggle which becomes clear with the description of an employee who had to quit her job at the clinic due to the same reasons his patients consult him. The last sentences of the book had me in shock: "Even the best female employees can cause many problems if they don't have the childcare issue taken care of. I'll have to make sure her replacement is unmarried." One last slap in the face... After everything he heard from his patients and his own wife this is his solution??
Amazing book that everyone should read.
Amazing book that everyone should read.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism, Sexual harassment, and Misogyny
Moderate: Gaslighting and Mental illness
Minor: Alcohol and Pregnancy
koreanlinda's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
This was a hugely famous and popular book in Korea when it was published. Reading it a decade later, I understood why. It tells the story of all women having lived, are living, and will live in South Korea. Of course, it is not all-encompassing, but women-presenting people in Korea cannot escape the sexism and misogyny described in this book, perhaps partially but not entirely.
I grew up in South Korea until my high school year. While reading this book, I finally realized that every minute of my childhood was filled with experiences of sexism and misogyny. Through counseling therapy, I have already realized that the physical punishment (along with verbal and psychological abuse) by my mother and teachers was indeed violence and child abuse. (It was so normalized that I thought it was acceptable for most of my life.) However, I did not realize until now that the oppression and abuse I experienced were much bigger than my small circle of personal relationships.
I am now living in the USA, where they have a considerable portion of sexism and misogyny. However, I deem that there is a better awareness around it here, compared to South Korea. The frustration I experienced in Korea (during my residence in childhood and my visits in adulthood) and what I read in the book largely originates from the normalization of sexism and misogyny. There are small pockets of feminist groups speaking up for women's rights, but they are brutally demonized by mainstream society. Fighting for women's rights quickly feels like screaming into a void, unheard and disregarded. Even people who seem to care fail to understand women's struggles. For example, Jung, TaeHyun, a loving and supportive husband of Kim, JiYoung still considers his domestic role as "helping" her housework." JiYoung's therapist empathizes with her struggles as well as his wife's, who had also lost her career due to childbirth and parenting. However, at the end of his self-reflection, he concludes that it'd be wiser to hire unmarried female employees at his doctor's office so he doesn't lose their workforce due to their family obligations.
My heart goes out to all Kim, JiYoungs of South Korea and to my younger self, who lived in deep confusion and hurt for a long time.
Review by Linda (Any Pronouns) in April 2024
Personal essays on DefinitelyNotOkay.com
Artwork on Instagram @KoreanLinda
I grew up in South Korea until my high school year. While reading this book, I finally realized that every minute of my childhood was filled with experiences of sexism and misogyny. Through counseling therapy, I have already realized that the physical punishment (along with verbal and psychological abuse) by my mother and teachers was indeed violence and child abuse. (It was so normalized that I thought it was acceptable for most of my life.) However, I did not realize until now that the oppression and abuse I experienced were much bigger than my small circle of personal relationships.
I am now living in the USA, where they have a considerable portion of sexism and misogyny. However, I deem that there is a better awareness around it here, compared to South Korea. The frustration I experienced in Korea (during my residence in childhood and my visits in adulthood) and what I read in the book largely originates from the normalization of sexism and misogyny. There are small pockets of feminist groups speaking up for women's rights, but they are brutally demonized by mainstream society. Fighting for women's rights quickly feels like screaming into a void, unheard and disregarded. Even people who seem to care fail to understand women's struggles. For example, Jung, TaeHyun, a loving and supportive husband of Kim, JiYoung still considers his domestic role as "helping" her housework." JiYoung's therapist empathizes with her struggles as well as his wife's, who had also lost her career due to childbirth and parenting. However, at the end of his self-reflection, he concludes that it'd be wiser to hire unmarried female employees at his doctor's office so he doesn't lose their workforce due to their family obligations.
My heart goes out to all Kim, JiYoungs of South Korea and to my younger self, who lived in deep confusion and hurt for a long time.
Review by Linda (Any Pronouns) in April 2024
Personal essays on DefinitelyNotOkay.com
Artwork on Instagram @KoreanLinda
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism and Misogyny
Moderate: Sexual harassment and Violence
kaylurzz's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual harassment, Sexism, Mental illness, and Misogyny
Minor: Abortion
mardana's review against another edition
dark
informative
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.25
Somehow hitting close to home, even though the Korean women apparently have it much harder. I know many of the more or less subtle comments and expectations directed towards women from first hand experience.
This is a book, that should predominantly be read by men. But I doubt, that many a man will pick it up.
This is a book, that should predominantly be read by men. But I doubt, that many a man will pick it up.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual harassment, Misogyny, Sexism, and Pregnancy
Minor: Mental illness, Alcohol, Bullying, and Miscarriage
directorpurry's review against another edition
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abortion, Misogyny, Sexism, Pregnancy, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Vomit and Sexual assault
kathshiroma's review against another edition
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Body shaming, Misogyny, Sexism, Sexual assault, and Sexual harassment
Moderate: Abortion and Miscarriage