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3.46 AVERAGE
3.46 AVERAGE
This was a DNF for me. I just couldn't. Basically a published compilation of listicles.
I got to Chapter 10, and while it was definitely healing and inspirational, the copy I'm reading is a library book. This feels like a book that needs to be digested slowly, rather than devoured in one sitting. It's a bit dense - moreso in the fact that you have to take some time to absorb the messages. It reads well and I like her voice, but I think I just have to get my own copy and read a chapter a day or something
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
This book really lost me in the middle because every essay is really a list of commentary, but it got sooo good again at the end! I really appreciated hearing a different viewpoint and plan to reconsider how I think about certain things moving forward.
So many highlighted sections of this book. Will note some here at a later point. At large, I'd say while the target audience is meant to be 20-something year old, heartbroken girls who don't know what their chosen career path or life path is, I would recommend this to the wider audience of any age, gender and place in their life. It provides interesting, provocative discussions, non-conforming perspectives and actionable strategies for dealing with a broad scope of problems encountered by every human including anxiety, loss, depression, heartbreak, low self-esteem, uncertainty, relationship issues with self, friends, family and lovers. It's a little preachy if read at speed but what I also liked was, given the format, you can easily dip in and out of an essay each night or whenever you feel like a dose of selfcare.
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
slow-paced
There were some really good pieces of advice in here. It did feel pretty repetitive over time though and I didn’t agree with all of it.
The audiobook feels like it’s just a very long list of other long lists read by an AI.. whilst the content was good, the format was repetitive and boring
inspiring
reflective
relaxing
slow-paced
informative
lighthearted
reflective
relaxing
slow-paced
So their are quite a few things I dislike with this book. I dive a little deeper into each of these thoughts below but here is the overview:
- this is not an essay collection
- assumes 20 year old heterosexual women are the standard
- the author contradicts herself
- supports (and then doesn't support) capitalism
- presents this idealized life
- we do not need to have a mental breakdown to have a break through
- repeats the same ideas
Their are a few things I like about this book. I think it is accessible for many people to read. Maybe if someone is just starting to look at non-fiction/self-help book's and are a 20 year old straight white women then this would be interesting. That being said I am a 20 year old straight white women and I did not like this. Their are a few (7) essays that I thought where good, and might come back to at a latter date.
The number one thing that bothers me is that this is not a collection of essay. This is a collection of mostly lists, with a few things that are essay's, but really short essays that don't really dive into one idea. Like most of these essays are under 4 pages, with many being around a page, that just look at surface level ideas without adding any new ideas, and a lot of time their doesn't seem to be a big idea that ties an essay together. If you got ride of the lists in this book I think you would be less with less then 50 essays, so its really not an essay collection.
Another thing I dislike about this book is that is assumes 20 year old heterosexual women are the standard, writing things like "when people love the opposite sex (or the same sex)" or "when young girls (and boys) are taught to look attractive". Just say "when people love someone else", or "when young people are taught". Their is no need to single out, or mention after (as if they are an afterthought) boys and queer people. Many of the essay's are specifically directed at 20 year old's (Expectations You must let go of in your 20's is just one of the essays that has 20 year old's in the title). If this book was marketed as being for straight women then this writing would make more sense, but its not. I see this all the time on non-fiction book tables/self-help tables at book stores, and the title is not gender/age specific so this book is not marketed for straight, young, white women, but it is very much written with them in mind. This book is supposed to for everyone, and the writing shouldn't assume that everyone is a straight women, even if that is the majority of the readers.
- this is not an essay collection
- assumes 20 year old heterosexual women are the standard
- the author contradicts herself
- supports (and then doesn't support) capitalism
- presents this idealized life
- we do not need to have a mental breakdown to have a break through
- repeats the same ideas
Their are a few things I like about this book. I think it is accessible for many people to read. Maybe if someone is just starting to look at non-fiction/self-help book's and are a 20 year old straight white women then this would be interesting. That being said I am a 20 year old straight white women and I did not like this. Their are a few (7) essays that I thought where good, and might come back to at a latter date.
The number one thing that bothers me is that this is not a collection of essay. This is a collection of mostly lists, with a few things that are essay's, but really short essays that don't really dive into one idea. Like most of these essays are under 4 pages, with many being around a page, that just look at surface level ideas without adding any new ideas, and a lot of time their doesn't seem to be a big idea that ties an essay together. If you got ride of the lists in this book I think you would be less with less then 50 essays, so its really not an essay collection.
Another thing I dislike about this book is that is assumes 20 year old heterosexual women are the standard, writing things like "when people love the opposite sex (or the same sex)" or "when young girls (and boys) are taught to look attractive". Just say "when people love someone else", or "when young people are taught". Their is no need to single out, or mention after (as if they are an afterthought) boys and queer people. Many of the essay's are specifically directed at 20 year old's (Expectations You must let go of in your 20's is just one of the essays that has 20 year old's in the title). If this book was marketed as being for straight women then this writing would make more sense, but its not. I see this all the time on non-fiction book tables/self-help tables at book stores, and the title is not gender/age specific so this book is not marketed for straight, young, white women, but it is very much written with them in mind. This book is supposed to for everyone, and the writing shouldn't assume that everyone is a straight women, even if that is the majority of the readers.
She contradicts herself throughout the book? Like in one essay she discuses how feeling emotionally uncomfortable is a sign that something needs to change/is wrong, but a few essays before that she talks about how we should feel uncomfortable as it means we are trying new things and expanding. So, which is it? Is is good to be uncomfortable? Is it bad? Is it a bit of both? I know how I feel on these statements, but I don't think the author has a good understanding of how she feels about it, as if they did they would not contradict themselves.
This relates to her contradicting herself, but I wanted to give it is own space. She supports capitalism but doesn’t realize it? She talks about how we need to see money as an opportunity (we get to pay our bills not we have to pay our bills), which is just supporting capitalism. I also just disagree with this statement, as for people who can afford their bills then it is a privilege to pay your bills. However, for people who struggle to or can't pay their bill's, it's not an opportunity where they get to pay your bills, it's stressful, and keeps people in poverty. Paying bills is a privilege, but reframing our mindset to "we get to pay our bills" is not going to make bill's not part of capitalism, or make you magically be able to pay bills. However, later in the book their an essay about how money is our “god” as it controls our lives, but ultimately decides in that essay that we need to accept ourselves. So this essay is critical of capitalism, but then doesn't say what we should do except accept ourselves. And now I am wondering, is money controlling us, or its it a privilege to have money and pay our bills?
Promotes this idea of a “perfect life”. Those who meditate, write, have strong social relationships can’t also be envious, alcoholics, and scroll online… it feels like I’m scrolling online reading this book… only looking at what the best people are and the best they have to offer.
Says that we need to have a (mental) breakdown to have a (mental) break through but that’s just wrong? The closest I ever came to a break down just left me tired, sad and uncomfortable for weeks, sometimes uncomfortable even now 2 years later. So no. I do not agree with that. I think at times hitting a low point can signal to us that we need to change, but to say that all mental breakdowns lead to breakthrough's is just wrong.
A lot of these essays have similar ideas in them. Like multiple talk essays about meditating, being intelligent, being emotionally healthy, and relationships, but they never add new ideas, or dive deep into the topic. Also, I feel like most of what is being said is things we already know (don't procrastinate, have strong social circle, it's okay to take time to do nothing, love doesn't always last but that's okay).
I feel like this would be better as a journal. A section would start with one of the essays, and then have the list throughout this book as question prompts, with space to answer the questions. I was reading some of the lists and they where asking questions, and I thought that it would be nice to actually answer the questions as that would be more impactful then just reading a list.