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4.04 AVERAGE
4.04 AVERAGE
3.5 stars. A well researched, well argued and well written book about the sexual encounters in high schools and colleges, what most girls feel their roles are in a sexual relationship. It is also a call to action for parents and educators to empower girls with discussions, resources so they can raise their voices about their sexual gratification during intimacy. Although I was somewhat aware of the date rapes rampant in colleges, this book truly opened my eyes to the reality of it all. The scene is scary and it is about time authorities, parents and students took a stand against it.
Well written and important - but fairly depressing as well. Highly recommend this to all parents - not just parents of girls either.
This book was well written— full of facts and research and a page turner at the same time. I found myself indignant at times while witnessing girls’ perspectives and habits that have been a product of our culture. During other times, I felt sad for my younger self whirl finally understanding why I made some of the choices I did. After reading this I feel compassionate toward myself as well as young people navigating the nuances of sex and relationships.
The way that girls understand, engage in, and feel about sex has changed in many ways over the past thirty years (who knew that giving a blow job was the new "second base"?), and yet the same story lines around power, control, pleasure, and satisfaction are being played out across the sexual landscape of teenagers, college students, and young adults. What does it mean to be a girl and to understand sex? This powerful book interviews 70 young females and tells the stories in nuanced, thoughtful ways. If you're a "slut" for having sex and a "prude" if you're a virgin, is it always a losing game if you're a female? Why does the metaphor of "baseball" imply that there has to be a winning team and a losing team? And when, if you're a girl, does your own pleasure come into play — or is it all about perceptions, performance, and pleasing others?
Above all, perhaps the most powerful insight I was left with: it's not about sex at all. It's about understanding your feelings, knowing how to communicate, and learning how to make decisions. If teenagers can use learning about sex as a way to explore their own feelings, become great at communication, and become effective decision-makers, then we're doing our young adults a wonderful, wonderful service.
Above all, perhaps the most powerful insight I was left with: it's not about sex at all. It's about understanding your feelings, knowing how to communicate, and learning how to make decisions. If teenagers can use learning about sex as a way to explore their own feelings, become great at communication, and become effective decision-makers, then we're doing our young adults a wonderful, wonderful service.
Along with Orenstein's companion book, Boys & Sex, this could be required reading for all parents.
I really enjoyed this book like I have the other two books written by the author, Peggy Orenstein. This book is NOT a book written as from a scientific researcher for Masters & Johnson with tons of statistics and tables. Rather, it is a book for parents of girls (most likely the mother) for anecdotal stories and feedback from teen-aged girls and young female adults. She interviewed these girls to learn THEIR stories so we could help our daughter create THEIR own stories.
I love that the author told us WHAT the girls were thinking, WHAT happened to them, HOW they felt, WHO was involved, and all of the details that may be difficult to stomach. This is NOT your mother's sex education book. It answers all the questions that you wanted to know about female sexuality in this age and were afraid to ask. It is WAY different and a foreign landscape with lots of landmines to me. What is the NEW normal is not the OLD normal that I grew up with, but I feel better prepared after reading this book.
The ONLY thing that I wished the book had included was some talking points for each chapter to discuss with my daughter and her friends. When I told my daughter that I was reading this book and that we would talk about it, she was mortified. But, when I started with the material in chapter one, it made it easier to start a dialogue.
Definitely read this book BEFORE middle school as the experimentation with sexual behavior including drugs and alcohol starts there. Share this book with your friends - we as parents ALL need to be on the same page and support our girls in this journey. Even if the journey is the last thing that we want to talk about with our kids!!
I love that the author told us WHAT the girls were thinking, WHAT happened to them, HOW they felt, WHO was involved, and all of the details that may be difficult to stomach. This is NOT your mother's sex education book. It answers all the questions that you wanted to know about female sexuality in this age and were afraid to ask. It is WAY different and a foreign landscape with lots of landmines to me. What is the NEW normal is not the OLD normal that I grew up with, but I feel better prepared after reading this book.
The ONLY thing that I wished the book had included was some talking points for each chapter to discuss with my daughter and her friends. When I told my daughter that I was reading this book and that we would talk about it, she was mortified. But, when I started with the material in chapter one, it made it easier to start a dialogue.
Definitely read this book BEFORE middle school as the experimentation with sexual behavior including drugs and alcohol starts there. Share this book with your friends - we as parents ALL need to be on the same page and support our girls in this journey. Even if the journey is the last thing that we want to talk about with our kids!!
This is an important book for parents of girls and even parents of boys could benefit from reading this and educating their sons (and knowing what they might be up to).
Orenstein covers the current 'hook-up' culture, how to talk/educate your daughter to know her body and what she wants to do with it, alcohol and sex, unrealistic expectations in a porn-laden world, campus life and more.
Orenstein covers the current 'hook-up' culture, how to talk/educate your daughter to know her body and what she wants to do with it, alcohol and sex, unrealistic expectations in a porn-laden world, campus life and more.
Audiobook.
I enjoyed listening to the experiences of young women and their sex lives. It really reminded me of my time when I was in high school and exploring sex. It was a good listen but it kinda seemed like a long Ted Talk. And it repeated itself a lot- I’ve also read other books/ podcasts/ work trainings that have gone over most of the content in this book. I’m definitely not more woke or a better feminist for reading this book but all the same, it was a good reminder of the good, bad and ugly that occurs in the world of sex.
I enjoyed listening to the experiences of young women and their sex lives. It really reminded me of my time when I was in high school and exploring sex. It was a good listen but it kinda seemed like a long Ted Talk. And it repeated itself a lot- I’ve also read other books/ podcasts/ work trainings that have gone over most of the content in this book. I’m definitely not more woke or a better feminist for reading this book but all the same, it was a good reminder of the good, bad and ugly that occurs in the world of sex.