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56 reviews for:
I Have Been Buried Under Years of Dust: A Memoir of Autism and Hope
Valerie Gilpeer, Emily Grodin
3.57 AVERAGE
56 reviews for:
I Have Been Buried Under Years of Dust: A Memoir of Autism and Hope
Valerie Gilpeer, Emily Grodin
3.57 AVERAGE
emotional
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
I feel like I'm in a real pickle about this novel. On the one hand, this book was very informative. Almost everything in here was accessible to a person who might have no clue what autism is, or what treatments are available. On the other hand, it is so clear how narcissistic and damaging this book can be. If your child is autistic and you deny her the opportunity to begin communication in alternate ways because you're desperate to have your child communicate verbally, you are cruel. Emily could have begun using FC YEARS before she did. I believe it was close to a decade. That's a long time of no communication. All because Valerie was so focused on getting her to speak. It agonizes me. To me this is just as bad as families that are in denial about their children being deaf. Don't even get me started about Valerie's thoughts on finding out Emily was autistic. I don't know how Emily grew up in a clearly toxic environment with Valerie as her mother.
The main point that I would like to come across from this novel is that verbal communication is not the only form of communication. Emily's writing was fantastic and I wish Valerie had been left out of this novel altogether. Emily has a bright future if she chooses to write her own novels and I wish her nothing but success in her endeavors in that regard. Valerie should never write a novel again :)
The main point that I would like to come across from this novel is that verbal communication is not the only form of communication. Emily's writing was fantastic and I wish Valerie had been left out of this novel altogether. Emily has a bright future if she chooses to write her own novels and I wish her nothing but success in her endeavors in that regard. Valerie should never write a novel again :)
I was conflicted as to my rating of this book.
In terms of the writing itself, it was an engaging and engrossing read. In that sense, I would rate it at five stars, no question - especially when it comes to Emily's portions of the book. They were amazing.
But as engaging as the book was, I have to admit that I found myself highly disliking Valerie. I'm reminded of the way I felt about Michael Schofield in his book "January First". In both cases you're reading a book written by a parent whose narcissism shines through on every page.
Valerie makes it sound as though she was the only one concerned about Emily's well-being, as though Emily didn't also have a father who wanted to do everything he could to help her. I got so very tired of reading about how Valerie had made a decision about Emily that Tom didn't initially support, only to have him tell her later that she was right and he should have listened to her all along.
The way she talked about the behavioural therapists in the beginning of the book drove me crazy too. I understand that every parent thinks their child is brilliant and beautiful and unique, but these therapists aren't there to coddle children - they're there to work with the child.
"We hated the constant collecting of data on Emily. The clinical ways the behaviourists worked with her made me feel as if Emily weren't a beautiful child, our precious daughter, but a horse to be broken."
Look, I don't have children, and as I've said, I understand that all parents think their children are the most special children on earth. But those therapists that Valerie felt so free to disparage weren't there to dote on Emily. They were there to work with her, to try to help her, to help her make as much progress as was possible. And yes, of course they were going to document whatever progress she made. The "data collection" that Valerie dislikes so much? Essential to working with any children (hello, has she never heard of progress reports or report cards?) but, I would imagine, even more crucial when one is working with children with different abilities. She's not the "precious daughter" of these professionals; of course they're not going to treat her that way.
It just seems to me that Valerie had no intention of working or cooperating with anyone whose sole intention wasn't to fawn all over Emily.
I am glad I read this book, and am amazed by Emily's writing. But I wish that I had been able to hear more of her voice - and much less the voice of her insufferable, self-centred mother. I don't know how in the world her husband has managed to stay with her, because honestly, she seemed to take every opportunity she could to disparage him.
In terms of the writing itself, it was an engaging and engrossing read. In that sense, I would rate it at five stars, no question - especially when it comes to Emily's portions of the book. They were amazing.
But as engaging as the book was, I have to admit that I found myself highly disliking Valerie. I'm reminded of the way I felt about Michael Schofield in his book "January First". In both cases you're reading a book written by a parent whose narcissism shines through on every page.
Valerie makes it sound as though she was the only one concerned about Emily's well-being, as though Emily didn't also have a father who wanted to do everything he could to help her. I got so very tired of reading about how Valerie had made a decision about Emily that Tom didn't initially support, only to have him tell her later that she was right and he should have listened to her all along.
The way she talked about the behavioural therapists in the beginning of the book drove me crazy too. I understand that every parent thinks their child is brilliant and beautiful and unique, but these therapists aren't there to coddle children - they're there to work with the child.
"We hated the constant collecting of data on Emily. The clinical ways the behaviourists worked with her made me feel as if Emily weren't a beautiful child, our precious daughter, but a horse to be broken."
Look, I don't have children, and as I've said, I understand that all parents think their children are the most special children on earth. But those therapists that Valerie felt so free to disparage weren't there to dote on Emily. They were there to work with her, to try to help her, to help her make as much progress as was possible. And yes, of course they were going to document whatever progress she made. The "data collection" that Valerie dislikes so much? Essential to working with any children (hello, has she never heard of progress reports or report cards?) but, I would imagine, even more crucial when one is working with children with different abilities. She's not the "precious daughter" of these professionals; of course they're not going to treat her that way.
It just seems to me that Valerie had no intention of working or cooperating with anyone whose sole intention wasn't to fawn all over Emily.
I am glad I read this book, and am amazed by Emily's writing. But I wish that I had been able to hear more of her voice - and much less the voice of her insufferable, self-centred mother. I don't know how in the world her husband has managed to stay with her, because honestly, she seemed to take every opportunity she could to disparage him.
*Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an egalley ARC out in April 2021.
The description of this story interested me right away. The journey Emily and her family went on and are still going through of navigating nonverbal autism was very compelling, and I am thankful for the opportunity to read it.
This is a memoir co-written by Emily’s mother and Emily who is nonverbal autistic. The main narrative is told by her mother, with insight and poetry throughout
by Emily. Emily’s poetry and writing was definitely was the highlight for me.
The overall story paints a picture of Emily’s journey of finding her voice and sharing her experience of the world. Through most of her childhood she is not able to communicate beyond simple answers to questions, though her parents believe there is more going on inside her than she can communicate. After trying many different therapies, through FC she has a breakthrough one day and Emily writes full sentences describing her thoughts and feelings for the first time.
I know there is a saying in the autistic community that says something like when you have met one autistic person you have met one autistic person. Each person’s experience with autism is unique. This is how I think of Emily’s story. It is not meant to say “follow this path” and other autistic people can be like me. Rather it tells a story that advocates for more options beyond speech therapy for nonverbal autistic children.
FC (Facilitated Communication) has been seen as illegitimate form of communication for autistic people, but Emily and her mother want to share their positive experience with it and advocate for all forms of AAC (Augmentative & Alternative Communication) to be a recognized option for nonverbal autistic people.
Emily’s poetry and insight to what it is like to navigate the world as autistic along with her mother’s narrative has given me a lot to think about as a teacher, mother, and human in this world we all share.
The description of this story interested me right away. The journey Emily and her family went on and are still going through of navigating nonverbal autism was very compelling, and I am thankful for the opportunity to read it.
This is a memoir co-written by Emily’s mother and Emily who is nonverbal autistic. The main narrative is told by her mother, with insight and poetry throughout
by Emily. Emily’s poetry and writing was definitely was the highlight for me.
The overall story paints a picture of Emily’s journey of finding her voice and sharing her experience of the world. Through most of her childhood she is not able to communicate beyond simple answers to questions, though her parents believe there is more going on inside her than she can communicate. After trying many different therapies, through FC she has a breakthrough one day and Emily writes full sentences describing her thoughts and feelings for the first time.
I know there is a saying in the autistic community that says something like when you have met one autistic person you have met one autistic person. Each person’s experience with autism is unique. This is how I think of Emily’s story. It is not meant to say “follow this path” and other autistic people can be like me. Rather it tells a story that advocates for more options beyond speech therapy for nonverbal autistic children.
FC (Facilitated Communication) has been seen as illegitimate form of communication for autistic people, but Emily and her mother want to share their positive experience with it and advocate for all forms of AAC (Augmentative & Alternative Communication) to be a recognized option for nonverbal autistic people.
Emily’s poetry and insight to what it is like to navigate the world as autistic along with her mother’s narrative has given me a lot to think about as a teacher, mother, and human in this world we all share.
I have to give this memoir a lot of credit. I have been studying Early Childhood Education for a number of years, I’ve taken various courses on disabilities and inclusion, and I’ve worked with children with autism before. I am college educated in ECE. I’m not an expert by any means, but I consider myself well versed in knowledge of people with autism. And this book taught me so much that I’ve never heard of. I learned so much about facilitated communication. Of course I had heard of it, but I feel it’s not covered nearly enough because of the controversy behind it. Emily’s story was so extraordinary, I almost didn’t believe it until I kept reading. For her to just come out and start communicating eloquently and with so much artistic ability at age 25 amazed me. I was convinced by a simple statement from Emily’s mother, where she discussed how Emily didn’t do things until she was ready, because she was just that type of person. I am the exact same way. Neurotypical or not, we all are people with personality traits, so that made perfect sense to me. Emily communicated when she felt ready. I highly recommend this memoir to anyone who is interested in learning more about autism and facilitated communication. Emily’s story will truly change everything you thought you already knew.
No just no. Once again this is another ‘ohh no look at me I’m so sad but also so strong because I have an autistic child’ book....
As someone who has been diagnosed with autism I’m so sick of seeing books/media like this.
As someone who has been diagnosed with autism I’m so sick of seeing books/media like this.
Thank you to Goodreads and HarperCollins for the gifted advanced copy of I Have Been Buried Under Years of Dust!
As someone with an autistic nephew, I have been interested in reading about other people’s experiences with the condition ever since his diagnosis. To be honest, I had never really heard or learned about it until then. But now I’ve read several fiction and nonfiction works alike about people and characters with autism, and I love their stories. Everyone is unique, with their own abilities and struggles, just like neurotypical people. It goes to show you that you can’t lump all autistic people into a category.
I Have Been Buried Under Years of Dust tells the story of one young woman with autism and her and her family’s journey to discovering a form of communication that works for her. Emily was born in 1991, a time when autism was far less prevalent of a diagnosis and topic of discussion. It was absolutely heartbreaking to read about her parents struggles to come to terms with their daughter’s autism and then fight against all odds to get her the education and opportunities she deserved.
But Emily’s story is ultimately a happy one filled with hope, and she and her mother tell it in a beautiful way. This story is highly recommended for anyone who wants to learn about one out of many families’ experiences with autism and how it dramatically affected their lives.
As someone with an autistic nephew, I have been interested in reading about other people’s experiences with the condition ever since his diagnosis. To be honest, I had never really heard or learned about it until then. But now I’ve read several fiction and nonfiction works alike about people and characters with autism, and I love their stories. Everyone is unique, with their own abilities and struggles, just like neurotypical people. It goes to show you that you can’t lump all autistic people into a category.
I Have Been Buried Under Years of Dust tells the story of one young woman with autism and her and her family’s journey to discovering a form of communication that works for her. Emily was born in 1991, a time when autism was far less prevalent of a diagnosis and topic of discussion. It was absolutely heartbreaking to read about her parents struggles to come to terms with their daughter’s autism and then fight against all odds to get her the education and opportunities she deserved.
But Emily’s story is ultimately a happy one filled with hope, and she and her mother tell it in a beautiful way. This story is highly recommended for anyone who wants to learn about one out of many families’ experiences with autism and how it dramatically affected their lives.
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Emily's poetry is beautiful. Even though I am a verbal autstic, the poems Emily wrote reflect my inner world so acciraltely. This book is amazing. Emily's parents are amazing. I'm so glad more books are coming out about non verbal autistics. Presume competence always. Understand most of the behavior problems are because they can't be properly understood. Learn their communication style and adapt to that. Amazing, amazing book.