The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter—And How to Make the Most of Them Now by Meg Jay

3.93 AVERAGE

nightbirdie's profile picture

nightbirdie's review

2.25
 
Im rather disappointed in this. I really really wanted to like it, and it came with glowing recommendations from people I respect (the most convincing being Kay Hymowitz). 
I think almost anything said in this book one can find taking a basic psychology course, or talking to a therapist (or very insightful friend) once. I absolutely loathed her extreme focus on children, and making her clients feel bad for not having them earlier, or at all. the "I told you so!" rhetoric in reference to a client struggling with fertility in her mid/late thirties was absurd. I found her to be pompous and disrespectful for most of this book. all in all, the amount of times she said 
"20somethings" made me want to ofi myself, she seems self righteous and focused on heteronormative viewpoints, and has some blind spots. 
I enjoyed her takes on career, early relationships, and marriage. 
I don't recommend this book lol 
sofilart's profile picture

sofilart's review against another edition

2.0
reflective fast-paced
The overall message of the book isn't bad: 'Your life matters—even in your twenties—so make it count. I genuinely believe that people, regardless of age, shouldn't waste their potential by constantly partying or falling into unhealthy habits. It's perfectly okay to have fun and unwind occasionally, but turning that into a lifestyle—especially if it brings no fulfillment or purpose—serves little value unless it's something you’re truly passionate about and it’s your actual job'.

However:
- The audience is limited to a privilaged group with resources and opportunities.
- Heteronormative in general. Yes, she mentions LGBTQ+ people, but all research, examples and ideas are geared towards straight/cis folks.
- Her clients are often very stupid and bland.
- Jay comes off as condescending and judgemental.
- Very future-focused.
holliejollie's profile picture

holliejollie's review against another edition

5.0
hopeful informative inspiring reflective medium-paced
A new friend lent me a physical copy of this book almost a year ago. I sat around promising to read it and kept putting it to the back on my TBR. Borrowing the audio version from Libby put me on a timeline that I refused to give up on before it could be returned. Now that I've finished the book I'm planning on returning the original copy and purchasing my own. It's less of a "how to make the 30 under 30 list" read and more of a "check yourself before you wreck your (future) self" book. Good psychological tips for any age, and perfect for the 20 somethings you may know. 

If you enjoyed this book I'd highly recommend listening to The Happiness Lab by Dr. Laurie Santos
victorygen_'s profile picture

victorygen_'s review

3.0
hopeful informative inspiring reflective fast-paced
lisamac18's profile picture

lisamac18's review against another edition

4.0
I loved Jay's TED Talk and a lot of the themes she discussed in it were reiterated and expanded upon in this book. I'm not a self-help junkie (although maybe I should be), but I highly recommend this to anyone in their 20's. Good news: our brains aren't done developing yet! We're all gonna be okay!
ktudu's profile picture

ktudu's review against another edition

4.0
I think this book would be most helpful for people who are looking for some direction in their lives. While I think there is a lot of good advice in the book, and I personally found it entertaining, but I think anyone with adequately good sense won’t gain much new information. As I’m approaching my 30s, it was kind of fun to reflect on what I did well, and it did expand my perspective a bit on careers. I did notice that most of the characters, or “clients,” were fairly one-dimensional and clueless. But again, definitely entertaining.
rdawggg's profile picture

rdawggg's review

5.0
challenging informative inspiring fast-paced
Perfect for anybody in their 20’s. Thankful to have found such valuable information. 
amitmalik99's profile picture

amitmalik99's review against another edition

2.0
I seem to be a regular this year for not liking books that world seems to be raving about. This book starts well but then you realise it’s a good one for parents, elders and coaches who are or have to learn to deal with 20 something’s. They can surely benefit by understanding and then applying the learnings to best approach or advise.

If you are a 20 Something The problems/ issues raised may resonate but I don’t think the solutions will be self applicable. Just as author mentions in the book - self medicating the solutions will not be helpful. It may leave you more confused hence pass

aff_j's review against another edition

5.0
inspiring reflective fast-paced

pheebsp's review against another edition

4.25
challenging hopeful informative inspiring reflective fast-paced