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3.68 AVERAGE
3.68 AVERAGE
Interesting collection of short stories from a very different perspective than I'm usually able to read. Takes place mostly in a part of New Jersey I lived near when I was very young.
2.5 stars rounded up to 3 stars.
This Is How You Lose Her is a collection of short stories that revolve around the topic of love (platonic, romantic, maternal, fraternal, lost, unrequited, etc.), with a large focus on Yunior as a protagonist.
This collection is not really my style. For one, I am not a big fan of second-person POV, which a large amount of this collection is; and secondly, the voice comes across as very false to me, like Díaz is putting it on for the characters, but he doesn't actually speak like that, so it feels unconvincing? I'm not sure, but it just feels false.
The characters themselves were a bit mediocre, with Yunior being almost personality-less (but this could be a fault of the point-of-view style), an absolutely insufferable brother character Rafa, and just really gross dude friends. The perspective of Dominicans is really nice because that's not a common protagonist or cast of characters, but Díaz is only showing the lower-income Dominicans, which feels disingenuous. Maybe I'm just picky or maybe I just don't like to read about only lower-income populaces, but I don't think that's true; I simply find that focus to be extremely limiting for a collection of short stories. If you're going to give me short stories, don't give me almost the same ones over and over again-- that's too repetitive.
Also, I'm really not here to read about a bunch of dudes, Dominican or otherwise, who serially cheat on their girlfriends and are sad that the women decide they don't want to date them anymore because of that. Oops.
This Is How You Lose Her is a collection of short stories that revolve around the topic of love (platonic, romantic, maternal, fraternal, lost, unrequited, etc.), with a large focus on Yunior as a protagonist.
This collection is not really my style. For one, I am not a big fan of second-person POV, which a large amount of this collection is; and secondly, the voice comes across as very false to me, like Díaz is putting it on for the characters, but he doesn't actually speak like that, so it feels unconvincing? I'm not sure, but it just feels false.
The characters themselves were a bit mediocre, with Yunior being almost personality-less (but this could be a fault of the point-of-view style), an absolutely insufferable brother character Rafa, and just really gross dude friends. The perspective of Dominicans is really nice because that's not a common protagonist or cast of characters, but Díaz is only showing the lower-income Dominicans, which feels disingenuous. Maybe I'm just picky or maybe I just don't like to read about only lower-income populaces, but I don't think that's true; I simply find that focus to be extremely limiting for a collection of short stories. If you're going to give me short stories, don't give me almost the same ones over and over again-- that's too repetitive.
Also, I'm really not here to read about a bunch of dudes, Dominican or otherwise, who serially cheat on their girlfriends and are sad that the women decide they don't want to date them anymore because of that. Oops.
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
sad
medium-paced
ALL THE STARS // Why is this book everything I hate about men and every reason I hate men, yet also heartbreaking and beautiful and relatable??? I hate that I love this book. I read it in an hour at work while I was supposed to be writing dental content.
"This is How You Lose Her" is a narrative about the pressures of toxic masculinity or machismo that men, especially Latin/Hispanic/Chicano American men, are under and how it creates vicious, self-destructive cycles that deeply affect our children, women, and communities.
Even three years after first reading this story, I can vividly recall the honesty and broken-ness of Yunior when he becomes addicted to running even though it's literally destroying his body. He runs for miles to figuratively and literally get away from the guilt, shame, and expectations in his life and to numb these emotions that he's been told not to feel - also a great metaphor for how impossible it often feels to break out of cycles of generational trauma.
"This is How You Lose Her" is a narrative about the pressures of toxic masculinity or machismo that men, especially Latin/Hispanic/Chicano American men, are under and how it creates vicious, self-destructive cycles that deeply affect our children, women, and communities.
Even three years after first reading this story, I can vividly recall the honesty and broken-ness of Yunior when he becomes addicted to running even though it's literally destroying his body. He runs for miles to figuratively and literally get away from the guilt, shame, and expectations in his life and to numb these emotions that he's been told not to feel - also a great metaphor for how impossible it often feels to break out of cycles of generational trauma.
emotional
sad
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
No
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
The best I can say about this book is that the prose is excellent. That’s about it. The protagonist is a garbage person, a serial-serial cheater who can’t learn from his mistakes even when it costs him woman after woman, each one of whom has their life together more than he does - not that that affords them any respect in his mind. The word b**** probably appears more times than the word woman. And I’m apparently supposed to sympathize with this jerk? Give me a break. Good thing it’s a short read. I’m disgusted this is what modern award-winning literature looks like these days.
The flow of the writing was the best part about this book. Slang worked well (thanks to my Spanish teacher friend I understood most of it) and the writing evolved as the character did. The format of short stories and shifting through time was important because I think it might have gotten stale / repetitive otherwise.
This book is so beautifully written it made me want to go and revise previous ratings of books I have given 5 stars to and knock them down a star because This is How You Lose Her is absolutely artful in its prose. Νο word of it is superfluous, the story is woven so naturally, so effortlessly! The ONLY thing I would heed a warning about is that if you don't know Spanish, and you don't like skipping over words you don't know, reading this book will be frustrating. I didn't have internet access while I was reading, so at first I would write down every unknown word to look it up, BUT the story was so engaging I couldn't wait to get home to look them up and stop reading or start reading again from the beginning, so I ended up just accepting that I am not going to understand these Spanish words and that I'll still get the meaning. Don't let it keep you from reading the book though. It's worth it. You won't be able to put it down.
Beautiful prose that makes me want to read his other books, but man if the main character isn't a pathetic pain in the brain. It's like reading Lolita and trading in a thoroughly disturbing main character for an overly self-destructive one.
2.5 stars.
Let me preface this review by saying that I LOVED The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. The sweeping familial drama, the teenage angst, the geeky references, the Spanish/English changes were all great. I can probably read anything by Junot Diaz and like it at least a little bit because the voice is fun to read. That said...This is How You Lose Her struggled to engage me.
The strength of this book is in the moments when Diaz decides to eschew all the bravado and misogyny and have Yunior actually explore family and friend relationships with the ounce of self awareness he apparently has sometimes. I KNOW that the point of the misogyny is to criticize it, but it's hard to actually believe that when the author seems to enjoy revelling in the gratuitous chauvinism a little too much. Passages like this are scattered throughout the novel:
"Only a b**** of color comes to Harvard to get pregnant. White women don't do that. Asian women don't do that. Only f****** black and Latina women. Why go to all the trouble to get into Harvard just to get knocked up? You could have stayed on the block and done that s***."
Context: This is a fully grown man, it seems like a faculty member at this point, sleeping with a woman "half his age," (Maybe 20 or 21?) and that's actually what he has to say? Compound that with the fact that this particular female character is portrayed very negatively and with very little sympathy, and it's hard to see the point of this.
Getting through the first two stories was like pulling teeth, but the stories in the middle section of the book were enjoyable. The best story was "Invierno," to me, by far. It gave us a glimpse into the relationship Yunior's family had to his father, and it most directly dealt with the trauma of immigration, especially from a child's point of view. I also liked "Otravida, otravez," but I did feel that Diaz struggled to write from the female perspective in a way that rang completely authentic. I think the preoccupation with her lover's wife back in home country was a little tiresome, but the interaction between her and the new worker Samantha was touching.
That said, I'll still keep reading Diaz, but this one did not impress me, and in my personal opinion I do not feel that the book's criticism of misogyny outweighs the exhaustion from getting through the most unsavory parts of the book. I think it could be very much triggering to women (and men!) who have heard enough of this damaging talk in real life, so if race-oriented sexism bothers you maybe skip this one.
Let me preface this review by saying that I LOVED The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. The sweeping familial drama, the teenage angst, the geeky references, the Spanish/English changes were all great. I can probably read anything by Junot Diaz and like it at least a little bit because the voice is fun to read. That said...This is How You Lose Her struggled to engage me.
The strength of this book is in the moments when Diaz decides to eschew all the bravado and misogyny and have Yunior actually explore family and friend relationships with the ounce of self awareness he apparently has sometimes. I KNOW that the point of the misogyny is to criticize it, but it's hard to actually believe that when the author seems to enjoy revelling in the gratuitous chauvinism a little too much. Passages like this are scattered throughout the novel:
"Only a b**** of color comes to Harvard to get pregnant. White women don't do that. Asian women don't do that. Only f****** black and Latina women. Why go to all the trouble to get into Harvard just to get knocked up? You could have stayed on the block and done that s***."
Context: This is a fully grown man, it seems like a faculty member at this point, sleeping with a woman "half his age," (Maybe 20 or 21?) and that's actually what he has to say? Compound that with the fact that this particular female character is portrayed very negatively and with very little sympathy, and it's hard to see the point of this.
Getting through the first two stories was like pulling teeth, but the stories in the middle section of the book were enjoyable. The best story was "Invierno," to me, by far. It gave us a glimpse into the relationship Yunior's family had to his father, and it most directly dealt with the trauma of immigration, especially from a child's point of view. I also liked "Otravida, otravez," but I did feel that Diaz struggled to write from the female perspective in a way that rang completely authentic. I think the preoccupation with her lover's wife back in home country was a little tiresome, but the interaction between her and the new worker Samantha was touching.
That said, I'll still keep reading Diaz, but this one did not impress me, and in my personal opinion I do not feel that the book's criticism of misogyny outweighs the exhaustion from getting through the most unsavory parts of the book. I think it could be very much triggering to women (and men!) who have heard enough of this damaging talk in real life, so if race-oriented sexism bothers you maybe skip this one.