Reviews with content warning for Bullying - Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town

Reviews tagging 'Bullying'

Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town by Jon Krakauer

5 reviews

floratristan's review against another edition

challenging emotional informative sad tense fast-paced

4.25

Extremely depressing, infuriating and frustrating read. At some point it's just hard not to scream, it seems like any man, even your close childhood friend, could be a potential threat and rape you. And no matter how much evidence you gather, how obvious your case is, there are a multitude of hurdles: the slim chance of the police taking you seriously, then of the DA accepting to prosecute your case, then of the case verdict being "guilty". And even if all this happens, there are still extremely mild sentences and many options to appeal.
I find it interesting that colleges in the US have a kind of legal system. I wonder if that's the case for any European universities (not as far as I know) and why that is. Is it because expulsion is only possible once a criminal investigation happens? Reminded me of the UdK case.
I also find it interesting that there are different levels of how much proof you need, even in court between criminal and civil cases. Beyond a reasonable doubt or just through the sheer multitude of evidence.
Lastly, I think it's important to know statistics in order to talk about the subject in an informed way: over 90% of accusations of rape are true, and most rapists are serial rapists. What makes me especially angry is when female friends or people like Kristin Pabst betray victims of rape. I just don't get it! I empathie so much with the women telling their stories, with the feelings they describe even if their reactions don't make sense in a rational way, about the trauma afterward, etc. So how someone like Pabst can turn off her empathy or forget what it's like to be a woman in a misogynistic society is beyond me.
4,5 stars because I found it a little bit strange that in the beginning, Huguets story was partly told from the perspective of her father and how hard it was for him to face his daughters rape. I get that Krakauer is a middle aged man who probably empathises with the father's position the most, but especially at the beginng of the book this perspective should not have so much weight, because it promotes the idea of paternalistic, macho, "my daughter's innocence and purity are virtues that I as a father need to protect vehemently more than other qualities she might have" narrative

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amandas_bookshelf's review

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challenging emotional informative sad tense medium-paced

4.0

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wolf013's review against another edition

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challenging dark hopeful informative sad medium-paced

3.75

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leoniemacleod's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional informative inspiring sad slow-paced

4.5

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cait's review against another edition

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challenging dark emotional informative reflective sad tense fast-paced

5.0

I met my first boyfriend when I was 19. I had never held hands, didn't know how to kiss, never had sex. Growing up in a strict Catholic household, I had it in my head that I was going to save my first sexual experience for marriage.

He wanted to go further, but I told him no. By the time we'd been dating for two months, it became a constant push. Sometimes literally, with his hand on my head, but I resisted & he got mad & still I refused.

One night, at a mutual friend's house, I'd had too much to drink, we'd argued again about my reluctance to engage in sexual activities, & he said he'd take me home. I don't remember much after that except him stopping his truck in the middle of nowhere, headlights shining in through his back window, the shock of pain. I remember texting my best friend, later, to say, "So I guess I'm not a virgin anymore." I have no memory of her ever texting me back, of she & I ever discussing what happened after.

I began to engage in risky behaviors afterwards. I cried a lot. I stopped sleeping. I learned not to tell anyone about that night because doing so made him so angry. I became irritable to those around me. I partied & drank until I blacked out. I stayed with him. I tried to break up with him. He wouldn't let me.

When it was finally over, I was physically sick for months. I lost so much weight that tights fit as pants & I couldn't open vehicle doors without help. I continued with my risky behaviors. He spread rumors about me, negatively impacted my social circle, & made me think I was crazy.

And then, by accident, I found myself in a relationship with one of his friends. And then, after some time had passed, I told the friend about that night. He paused for a long moment & then he said, "He raped you."

It seems strange to say it now, but: If an outside male presence hadn't said it, I never would have either. But it's true. I did not consent. I never consented. That made it rape. My control over my body was taken from me & my distress afterwards was because I had been violated. I had been raped.

I never reported the incident to authorities. It took over 5 years for me to seek treatment from my doctor for the depression & anxiety I had experienced since that time. I have now been in cognitive-behavioral therapy for 3 years & my therapist tells me that my reactions, my confusion, my residual sadness & anxiety are normal reactions for victims of sexual assault. I know that, had I gone to police, the only one who would have suffered for it was me.

All this to say that my first 5-star read of 2021 is going to Missoula because of its hard, unblinking portrayal of acquaintance rape, its aftereffects, & the subsequent failures of the judicial system. Not only did it teach me things about my own experiences, but it made me feel so much less alone & inspired by the strong women who stood up & continue to stand for people like me, who are too afraid to stand up for ourselves.

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