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heather667's review
dark
emotional
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Grief, and Stalking
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship
Minor: Child abuse
sombre_confetti's review
I only got a 100 pages in and had to stop. I don't force myself to read terrible, awful things.
The writing is juvenile in every way, it's so cliched it's ridiculous. Just because you change the names and descriptions of the characters from your Twilight fanfiction doesn't make it original fiction. There is no plot only sex and not good/hot sex either. The author has no idea what real sex is like. The sex in the book is unrealistic and if it happened in real life would be painful! The female lead acts like a naive, and clueless 16/17 year old not a 21 almost 22 year old is that is going to graduate with a degree in English Literature. She has the emotional depth of a puddle. The male lead is supposed to be well versed in BDSM sex but he has no idea how to have vanilla sex. Sex if done right, even if it's the females first time, should be pleasurable and there should be no blood on the sheets from penetration!
This book is awful! The author is a terrible, juvenile writer. The characters are one dimensional, and it's clear that she did no research into BDSM culture or American culture. There are British-isms all over the place.
The writing is juvenile in every way, it's so cliched it's ridiculous. Just because you change the names and descriptions of the characters from your Twilight fanfiction doesn't make it original fiction. There is no plot only sex and not good/hot sex either. The author has no idea what real sex is like. The sex in the book is unrealistic and if it happened in real life would be painful! The female lead acts like a naive, and clueless 16/17 year old not a 21 almost 22 year old is that is going to graduate with a degree in English Literature. She has the emotional depth of a puddle. The male lead is supposed to be well versed in BDSM sex but he has no idea how to have vanilla sex. Sex if done right, even if it's the females first time, should be pleasurable and there should be no blood on the sheets from penetration!
This book is awful! The author is a terrible, juvenile writer. The characters are one dimensional, and it's clear that she did no research into BDSM culture or American culture. There are British-isms all over the place.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexism, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Torture, Violence, and Sexual harassment
audrey_dracosversion's review against another edition
dark
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
~~~~🥀Final Review🥀~~~~
Housekeeping
1. I will try to avoid spoilers and cover those that I do want to discuss, but I AM human and I DO make mistakes, so if you have not read/finished Fifty Shades of Grey please tread with caution.
2. My reviews are NOT PG. I swear and for some books I might talk dirty.
3. I have pretty much nothing good to say about this book. If you like this book, this is probably NOT the review for you.
4. My rating is 1.5 stars rounded down to 1.
5. 🚨🚨POSSIBLE TW!!!🚨🚨 S.A., molestation, pedophilia and r@pe
Rest of Review
Fifty Shades of Grey
(noun) fifty shades of fucked up
You're making a fool of me
💄Overall Thoughts💄
*rubs temples* Guys... Where do I start with the dumpster fire that is this book? I guess I understand why this book is so popular. It basically kick-started what we know today as "dark romance" and "smut". However...it's just bad. That's it, that's the thought. It is objectively not a good book.
🌺Writing Style + Writing Ability🌺
I think the thing that grated on me the most was the writing style. It's repetitive, bumpy, and insanely cringy. I just like...
Housekeeping
1. I will try to avoid spoilers and cover those that I do want to discuss, but I AM human and I DO make mistakes, so if you have not read/finished Fifty Shades of Grey please tread with caution.
2. My reviews are NOT PG. I swear and for some books I might talk dirty.
3. I have pretty much nothing good to say about this book. If you like this book, this is probably NOT the review for you.
4. My rating is 1.5 stars rounded down to 1.
5. 🚨🚨POSSIBLE TW!!!🚨🚨 S.A., molestation, pedophilia and r@pe
Rest of Review
Fifty Shades of Grey
(noun) fifty shades of fucked up
You're making a fool of me
💄Overall Thoughts💄
*rubs temples* Guys... Where do I start with the dumpster fire that is this book? I guess I understand why this book is so popular. It basically kick-started what we know today as "dark romance" and "smut". However...it's just bad. That's it, that's the thought. It is objectively not a good book.
🌺Writing Style + Writing Ability🌺
I think the thing that grated on me the most was the writing style. It's repetitive, bumpy, and insanely cringy. I just like...
mentally grinding my loins
WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN??? Do you see what I mean? Like half the book doesn't make any sense. E.L. James cannot write to save her life, apparently. It's also full of inconsistencies. You can't convince me that Christian is not a 'hearts and flowers' kind of guy after the gliding situation...that was really cute I'll give the damn book that. But the point is, that was definitely romantic, and yet the whole book (before and after that) they just kept saying he wasn't a hearts and flowers guy. He certainly TALKS like one, too! It's just non consistent and that bothered me to no end.
🫧Plot🫧
0_0
Ok, look. I understand that the plot is basically just smut. That's it, that's the plot. HOWEVER. If that is going to be your plot, please, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, confirm your ability to write good smut. Like please! Some of the stuff she wrote, especially when Ana loses her virginity...it's just not realistic or even plausible.
🪻Characters🪻
FMC
For my sanity's sake, lets start with Ana.
🫧Plot🫧
0_0
Ok, look. I understand that the plot is basically just smut. That's it, that's the plot. HOWEVER. If that is going to be your plot, please, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, confirm your ability to write good smut. Like please! Some of the stuff she wrote, especially when Ana loses her virginity...it's just not realistic or even plausible.
🪻Characters🪻
FMC
For my sanity's sake, lets start with Ana.
You are quite simply exquisite. The most beautiful, intelligent, witty, and brave woman
These are the adjectives Christian uses pretty damn early in the book. Let's evaluate.
1. Beautiful. I mean, sure. It's Ana's monologue, so obviously she downplays her beauty, but she must be beautiful if she's a woman. I mean, aren't we all tens?
2. Intelligent. I MUST NOT TELL LIES. Ana is legit one of the STUPIDEST 'heroines' I have ever had the displeasure to read about. Like girllll. Just the way her inner monologue flows....I swear if I ever read the other two books I'm going to have to like chew gum the entire time just to make sure I'm not grinding my teeth. But more on that later.
3. Witty. She has wit, I'll give her that. But does she really use it when she's not turned on by Christian? Not really. So what's the point?
4. Brave. You gotta be some kind of brave to agree to what she did at the end of the book, and honestly to just agree to the contract in general. So sure, she's brave.
Back to her inner monologue... Her 'inner goddess'? Guys what does this even mean? Is it supposed to be the angel on your shoulder? Like...and why was her entire subconsciousness the devil? Like serious side-eye. 😐
MMC
*cries in weird love for Christian Grey*
1. Beautiful. I mean, sure. It's Ana's monologue, so obviously she downplays her beauty, but she must be beautiful if she's a woman. I mean, aren't we all tens?
2. Intelligent. I MUST NOT TELL LIES. Ana is legit one of the STUPIDEST 'heroines' I have ever had the displeasure to read about. Like girllll. Just the way her inner monologue flows....I swear if I ever read the other two books I'm going to have to like chew gum the entire time just to make sure I'm not grinding my teeth. But more on that later.
3. Witty. She has wit, I'll give her that. But does she really use it when she's not turned on by Christian? Not really. So what's the point?
4. Brave. You gotta be some kind of brave to agree to what she did at the end of the book, and honestly to just agree to the contract in general. So sure, she's brave.
Back to her inner monologue... Her 'inner goddess'? Guys what does this even mean? Is it supposed to be the angel on your shoulder? Like...and why was her entire subconsciousness the devil? Like serious side-eye. 😐
MMC
*cries in weird love for Christian Grey*
Look at him now -- Christian cannot take his eyes off you."
THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING! When the MC is too oblivious to realize it but their best friend does that the love interest is obviously very VERY in love or getting there and its just 😩😩😩. It's so perfect. Also, the way Christian TALKS?? I--aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩
🚨🚨TRIGGER WARNINGS: See Housekeeping item #5 for specifics🚨🚨
HOWEVER! As much as I do love him...*sighs* there is one thing that I have a lot of trouble believing: him not resenting Mrs Robinson. Like boy she practically S.A.'d and raped you. It was definitely pedophilia. Every time Ana pointed that out, I found myself nodding. Like, I don't care what you say, and how grateful you are to her for 'introducing you to your lifestyle'. It's pedophilia and why the fuck is she a business partner and friend? If I were Ana I would be bothered by you going out to dinner with her too! She's not being ridiculous, she's being right.
🚨🚨TOPIC OVER🚨🚨
SIDE CHARACTERS
KATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Taylor just spawns lol I feel like butlers (bc that's basically what Taylor is) seem to do that a lot lol
💨Favorites💨
Favorite Character: Kate
Favorite Scene: Hangliding
Favorite Quote:
🚨🚨TRIGGER WARNINGS: See Housekeeping item #5 for specifics🚨🚨
HOWEVER! As much as I do love him...*sighs* there is one thing that I have a lot of trouble believing: him not resenting Mrs Robinson. Like boy she practically S.A.'d and raped you. It was definitely pedophilia. Every time Ana pointed that out, I found myself nodding. Like, I don't care what you say, and how grateful you are to her for 'introducing you to your lifestyle'. It's pedophilia and why the fuck is she a business partner and friend? If I were Ana I would be bothered by you going out to dinner with her too! She's not being ridiculous, she's being right.
🚨🚨TOPIC OVER🚨🚨
SIDE CHARACTERS
KATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Taylor just spawns lol I feel like butlers (bc that's basically what Taylor is) seem to do that a lot lol
💨Favorites💨
Favorite Character: Kate
Favorite Scene: Hangliding
Favorite Quote:
It's very hard to grow up in a perfect family when you're not perfect
🌊Final Thoughts🌊
I'm not going to lie, it had some redeeming qualities and if written better I think it could have some potential. However, I just didn't vibe with it, and when I read the next books (IF EVER) I'm probably going to have issues with those too. What a shame that the music for the movies is so good, because lord knows the movies themselves are probably not (I haven't seem them and now have no desire to).
That's it for now! Let's go light it up and rattle some stars, bitches. Mwah 💋
~~~~🍂pre-review🍂~~~~
Erm...fifty shades of fucked up? Try 525,600. Actually, don't - this book doesn't deserve to be associated with an amazing musical such as Rent.
~~~~🍃pre-read🍃~~~~
i’ve heard so much about this series. i know a lot of the songs from the movie series so im super excited to see if it lives up to the hype!
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Moderate: Physical abuse
Minor: Pedophilia and Sexual assault
inkshadows's review
dark
emotional
funny
mysterious
tense
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content and Alcohol
Moderate: Emotional abuse, Mental illness, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, and Stalking
Minor: Adult/minor relationship, Child abuse, Infidelity, and Pedophilia
ragelbagel's review against another edition
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
I wasn’t sure what to expect when I started this book, but it ended up being so underwhelming. Definitely better than the movie which had me hopeful for a while. However, it ended up just being a repetitive mess of love bombing and a lack of communication. The story had so much potential for character development and relationship exploration and sex education, but wow it missed the mark.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content
Minor: Adult/minor relationship and Sexual assault
pomegranate_muse's review against another edition
dark
emotional
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Adult/minor relationship, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Stalking, and Gaslighting
hannahparadise's review against another edition
dark
funny
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cursing, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, Stalking, and Gaslighting
zamnabatool01's review
dark
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
3.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism and Sexual assault
mynameisactuallylenny's review against another edition
It's just straight up abuse at this point, the fuck???
She is super uncomfortable and had a bad sexual experience and he's just wants her to keep up with everything for his pleasure NO NO NO IM OUT
She is super uncomfortable and had a bad sexual experience and he's just wants her to keep up with everything for his pleasure NO NO NO IM OUT
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Sexual content, and Sexual violence
mahra's review
dark
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
1.0
I will be very blunt.
I read this when I was 15 (too young, I know), and even at the time I could not believe that a grown adult wrote this. It reads like a bad fanfic written by a teen.
I am not even going to get into this abusive relationship depicted as romantic, and somehow desirable. Shameful.
I read this when I was 15 (too young, I know), and even at the time I could not believe that a grown adult wrote this. It reads like a bad fanfic written by a teen.
I am not even going to get into this abusive relationship depicted as romantic, and somehow desirable. Shameful.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Sexual assault, Sexual content, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Violence, Kidnapping, Toxic friendship, and Sexual harassment