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skudiklier's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
This book was beautiful and heartbreaking and so emotionally true. I wondered how it would pull off taking you through a relationship backwards, from messy breakup to romantic meeting, but wow Hazel Hayes did it so well. After finishing it I went back and reread the first chapter just to feel it all over again, and notice all the little things I now had so much more context for. Out of Love is all bittersweet nostalgia and new perspectives, and I loved it so much.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Blood, Miscarriage, Emotional abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Alcohol, Misogyny, Suicide attempt, Toxic relationship, and Mental illness
Moderate: Eating disorder, Lesbophobia, Fatphobia, Infidelity, Xenophobia, Physical abuse, Sexual harassment, Death, Biphobia, Grief, Gaslighting, Alcoholism, Vomit, Violence, Sexism, Pregnancy, and Car accident
Minor: Cancer, Medical content, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Racism, War, Child abuse, Suicide, Drug abuse, and Abortion
ariesbookmami's review
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Miscarriage
Minor: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Gaslighting, Grief, Suicide, Toxic relationship, Mental illness, and Eating disorder
summersnitch's review
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
It was a nice idea, but I didn't really enjoy it too much. It felt unsatisfying most of the time, because everything was always at least a bit miserable and there rarely really was a time where they actually enjoyed their life. Solid book and a cool idea, but would not read again.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders and Mental illness
Moderate: Alcohol
Minor: Biphobia, Vomit, Suicidal thoughts, Sexual assault, Physical abuse, Miscarriage, Eating disorder, and Domestic abuse
dee_dreams's review
emotional
reflective
sad
tense
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.5
When I was recommended this book, I had no clue who Hazel Hayes was. I still know next to nothing about her. Apparently, she's a YouTuber, and Out of Love is her debut novel. She's also quite a good writer. In Out of Love, there are passages that drip with so much beauty and bittersweetness that I needed to take a deep breath and read them twice. There are conversations which made me laugh out loud. There are a few corny and quotable lines which seem like something 17-year-old me would reblog on Tumblr and tag #truth—and I would say it upped the entertainment factor.
However, once I reached the middle of the book, I found it kind of hard to get back into. Not just because of the holiday season but, because, well, spoiler alert: they break up in the end... which is actually the beginning. This is a novel told in reverse. So where do we go from there? A happy ending is out of the picture, so we spend our time looking back on the big and the little things which contributed to the fall of the narrator and Theo's relationship. This story of disappointment and heartbreak is also told from a first-person perspective. Frankly, the narrator sounds kind of whiny at times. And the worst part is, the events in this book feel so real that reading the narrator dwell on them reminded me of the times I've cringed and cackled and cried and obsessed over memories of me and my ex. Needless to say, Out of Love is frustrating.
Some chapters are heartfelt, insightful, and engaging. Others make you roll your eyes as the narrator recounts various tales of her ex's douchebaggery. Thankfully, we end up learning more about him throughout the novel, which makes him a lot more interesting than most other characters. Most characters are not given much depth beyond the narrator's relationship with them. I found this super annoying about Maya, who, although she was super cool, was only in the story when the main character needed someone to cry to. (Even at the family dinner after Theo's grandmom's funeral? ...why?) Sure, she has Darren, but they really serve only as an ideal relationship for the narrator to compare her own to. Other than that, the vast majority of characters in this story just flicker in and out. There is only one chapter where this is meaningfully explored (it's probably one of the best chapters too.)
A couple of times, I noticed Hayes would write a metaphor. A good metaphor. Then she'd repeat the metaphor. (Even though it was an obvious metaphor.) And explain to us, "This is a metaphor." Yeah, there is some tell-and-not-show in this book. One of the most jarring exampleswas the end of "Are You A Banana?" (which was a really good chapter). We already know the narrator has mental health struggles, something which Hayes portrays beautifully in the beginning of the Paris chapter. However, the end of "Banana" takes a weird turn in which the narrator seems to break the fourth wall and reiterate what will happen in the future (which we already know, since the book is written in reverse), as well as names the exact, specific mental disorders she will be diagnosed with. It's a brief moment in the book, but it particularly stands out to me because it was such an uncharacteristic break from the narrative that it completely broke my immersion. It sounded almost like Hayes wrote down some notes for herself as she was writing and forgot to erase them. Other than that, some details in the book felt so realistic and so specific that they seemed autobiographical. That doesn't negate from the story-telling at all—it's just something I noticed. In fact, I think these made me feel more sympathy for the narrator.
Last but not least, Out of Love's most obvious quirk: the love story told in reverse. While looking back on this slowly-dying relationship can get ugly at times, I feel like the reverse narrative is effective in showing us the main character's growth. As I looked into the narrator's past, I gained more appreciation for the woman I met at the beginning of the novel. And while the story begins with disappointment, the end of the novel leaves me very hopeful for the narrator's future.
So, Out of Love is an imperfect novel about imperfect people in an imperfect relationship. It's tender. It's bittersweet. It's very raw. (Some may be put off by that.) Overall, I enjoyed it. While some parts were hard to read, I'm glad I stuck it out to the end. The last few chapters were simply lovely. And again, there really were some pieces of Hayes' writing that were so beautiful. Plus, there's a guy named Flaubert, and that alone is enough to make me consider this story worth my time.
However, once I reached the middle of the book, I found it kind of hard to get back into. Not just because of the holiday season but, because, well, spoiler alert: they break up in the end... which is actually the beginning. This is a novel told in reverse. So where do we go from there? A happy ending is out of the picture, so we spend our time looking back on the big and the little things which contributed to the fall of the narrator and Theo's relationship. This story of disappointment and heartbreak is also told from a first-person perspective. Frankly, the narrator sounds kind of whiny at times. And the worst part is, the events in this book feel so real that reading the narrator dwell on them reminded me of the times I've cringed and cackled and cried and obsessed over memories of me and my ex. Needless to say, Out of Love is frustrating.
Some chapters are heartfelt, insightful, and engaging. Others make you roll your eyes as the narrator recounts various tales of her ex's douchebaggery. Thankfully, we end up learning more about him throughout the novel, which makes him a lot more interesting than most other characters. Most characters are not given much depth beyond the narrator's relationship with them. I found this super annoying about Maya, who, although she was super cool, was only in the story when the main character needed someone to cry to.
A couple of times, I noticed Hayes would write a metaphor. A good metaphor. Then she'd repeat the metaphor. (Even though it was an obvious metaphor.) And explain to us, "This is a metaphor." Yeah, there is some tell-and-not-show in this book. One of the most jarring examples
Last but not least, Out of Love's most obvious quirk: the love story told in reverse. While looking back on this slowly-dying relationship can get ugly at times, I feel like the reverse narrative is effective in showing us the main character's growth. As I looked into the narrator's past, I gained more appreciation for the woman I met at the beginning of the novel. And while the story begins with disappointment, the end of the novel leaves me very hopeful for the narrator's future.
So, Out of Love is an imperfect novel about imperfect people in an imperfect relationship. It's tender. It's bittersweet. It's very raw. (Some may be put off by that.) Overall, I enjoyed it. While some parts were hard to read, I'm glad I stuck it out to the end. The last few chapters were simply lovely. And again, there really were some pieces of Hayes' writing that were so beautiful. Plus, there's a guy named Flaubert, and that alone is enough to make me consider this story worth my time.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Domestic abuse, and Eating disorder
Moderate: Alcoholism, Biphobia, Emotional abuse, and Physical abuse
amelialw's review
emotional
medium-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Eating disorder, Mental illness, and Toxic relationship
Minor: Miscarriage
sara_m_martins's review
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
(PS. i could write a book about this book, but i'm not sure i have the words)
Okay firstly, Hazel is one of my favourite creators - as in TOP 3 favourites; she might even have that #1 spot to be completely honest. i think about something of hers almost everyday - i adore Septem and i think about TOTM August every time i'm not feeling great. I used a otter bookmark too, which i recommend for maximum enjoyment.
Her personality shines through her work, and Out of Love was no exception - rather, you can see so much more of the range of her persona in a single art work - from her humor to how she handles heavier, sensitive topics (mental health, domestic abuse and abusive/toxic relationships - #ownvoices). And OOL balances these perfectly.
I was so enthralled by this book that i read it the whole way through a first time, only to finish and start a re-read right after - this time taking time to underline (pretty much everything) and trying to catch all the cross-references. I feel there's so much thought behind each word and so many connections (with chapters before and/or after) - due to both her writing and the story being told from finish to start - that i'm not smart enough to catch.
I really enjoy her writing - you can feel the backdrop of film making in it. One of the moments this jumps out the most in my memory is the final scene of the Summer Skin chapter.
WHICH SPEAKING OF - i broke down in tears finishing that chapter at 3AM, and went into all my social media bios and removed "bi" from them, leaving just the rainbow flag, as i entered a process that is still ongoing (this had been building up, but Hazel's words clicked the button to open the floodgates). Which is pretty ironic considering that Hazel is bisexual herself. I cannot express what that final scene did for me. But it was literally life-changing.
Summer Skin and Canadian Geese (i too am a daughter to a mom of 3, with absent fathers) are chapters that i see myself going back to over and over again
Surely, i should talk more about the relationship aspect of the book, you know the central plot line... But there's so much to read and think about with this book. I didn't even touch on all the great topics revolving around feminism on this book which are SO MANY and SO WELL DONE and so relatable (to me at least - like the motherhood bit!!! holy shit). And this is already so long. But, you know, it's not even about the relationship per say, is it- the relationship is just the conductive line though which we see the character's life unfolding (backwards. folding? idk).
It encapsulates the whole human experience because that's what life is - you are living and there's always so much happening and it's all so hard and complicated, but also strange and curious and interesting - and Hazel took it all and put it in words and made funny or made it heartbreaking and even a little bit of both and isn't that such a magnificent feat.
I think that's why I love this book so much: it has Life in it.
Okay firstly, Hazel is one of my favourite creators - as in TOP 3 favourites; she might even have that #1 spot to be completely honest. i think about something of hers almost everyday - i adore Septem and i think about TOTM August every time i'm not feeling great. I used a otter bookmark too, which i recommend for maximum enjoyment.
Her personality shines through her work, and Out of Love was no exception - rather, you can see so much more of the range of her persona in a single art work - from her humor to how she handles heavier, sensitive topics (mental health, domestic abuse and abusive/toxic relationships - #ownvoices). And OOL balances these perfectly.
I was so enthralled by this book that i read it the whole way through a first time, only to finish and start a re-read right after - this time taking time to underline (pretty much everything) and trying to catch all the cross-references. I feel there's so much thought behind each word and so many connections (with chapters before and/or after) - due to both her writing and the story being told from finish to start - that i'm not smart enough to catch.
I really enjoy her writing - you can feel the backdrop of film making in it. One of the moments this jumps out the most in my memory is the final scene of the Summer Skin chapter.
WHICH SPEAKING OF - i broke down in tears finishing that chapter at 3AM, and went into all my social media bios and removed "bi" from them, leaving just the rainbow flag, as i entered a process that is still ongoing (this had been building up, but Hazel's words clicked the button to open the floodgates). Which is pretty ironic considering that Hazel is bisexual herself. I cannot express what that final scene did for me. But it was literally life-changing.
Summer Skin and Canadian Geese (i too am a daughter to a mom of 3, with absent fathers) are chapters that i see myself going back to over and over again
Surely, i should talk more about the relationship aspect of the book, you know the central plot line... But there's so much to read and think about with this book. I didn't even touch on all the great topics revolving around feminism on this book which are SO MANY and SO WELL DONE and so relatable (to me at least - like the motherhood bit!!! holy shit). And this is already so long. But, you know, it's not even about the relationship per say, is it- the relationship is just the conductive line though which we see the character's life unfolding (backwards. folding? idk).
It encapsulates the whole human experience because that's what life is - you are living and there's always so much happening and it's all so hard and complicated, but also strange and curious and interesting - and Hazel took it all and put it in words and made funny or made it heartbreaking and even a little bit of both and isn't that such a magnificent feat.
I think that's why I love this book so much: it has Life in it.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Mental illness, Emotional abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Domestic abuse, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Eating disorder
Minor: Alcoholism, Sexual violence, and Addiction
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