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heropick's review
informative
4.0
read to help me with research for a class, pretty good as a base introduction but i do wish it was more in depth with some things, especially with pain management and possible accommodations during sex. but was really useful and informative and did mainly what i need it to do!!
amandakitz's review
3.0
I'm sure this book was very current at the time of its publication, but now 20 years later, the landscape of disabled and queer language and needs has changed quite a bit. I appreciated the excerpts from disabled folks with a wide range of disabilities. The sections on communication and on the basics of sexual safety and education were done well, and would be helpful if your sexual education was very limited. It appears that the authors did try to include a wide variety of disabilities in each of their suggestions. More on that later.
My biggest critique is in the chapter on yoga and tantra; in one breath they critiqued Western uses of Eastern practices and in the next breath said to "take what you like and leave the rest", instilling in me very little confidence that the presentation of yoga and tantra was done accurately and respectfully.
Some of the other suggestions for folks like me with chronic pain and fatigue basically amounted to 'change positions to support yourself and know when to rest' which... thanks, I'm sure we've all tried that. The actual positions discussed were primarily for folks in wheelchairs, which is great, but I had hoped that the section on intercourse would have more than 4 positions given the range of disabilities discussed. Masturbation and oral had a chapter each so it's not like the practical pieces were in short supply, but that section had a surprisingly small number of ideas.
I'm sure folks with other disabilities have seen the inadequacy of this book in addressing their concerns. That seems to be the risk they ran by taking a very large topic, with a lot of disabilities and identities represented, and trying to fit it in 300 pages. Perhaps leaving out the problematic tantra section would have let them squeeze in more material relevant to some disabled folks who were less represented.
Overall, I learned a few new things and would like to find something similar without the problematic tantra section, a little more current LGBTQ+ inclusivity, and ideally more helpful information for chronic pain and fatigue if that's one of the categories marketed to.
My biggest critique is in the chapter on yoga and tantra; in one breath they critiqued Western uses of Eastern practices and in the next breath said to "take what you like and leave the rest", instilling in me very little confidence that the presentation of yoga and tantra was done accurately and respectfully.
Some of the other suggestions for folks like me with chronic pain and fatigue basically amounted to 'change positions to support yourself and know when to rest' which... thanks, I'm sure we've all tried that. The actual positions discussed were primarily for folks in wheelchairs, which is great, but I had hoped that the section on intercourse would have more than 4 positions given the range of disabilities discussed. Masturbation and oral had a chapter each so it's not like the practical pieces were in short supply, but that section had a surprisingly small number of ideas.
I'm sure folks with other disabilities have seen the inadequacy of this book in addressing their concerns. That seems to be the risk they ran by taking a very large topic, with a lot of disabilities and identities represented, and trying to fit it in 300 pages. Perhaps leaving out the problematic tantra section would have let them squeeze in more material relevant to some disabled folks who were less represented.
Overall, I learned a few new things and would like to find something similar without the problematic tantra section, a little more current LGBTQ+ inclusivity, and ideally more helpful information for chronic pain and fatigue if that's one of the categories marketed to.
sometimesalyreadsbooks's review
4.0
Very good beginner’s guide, dispels stigma and exploration. I wish it had included more on chronic pain conditions, sexual health conditions and mental health, but it does a fine job of addressing most other conditions and how sex can be and should be enjoyable, exploring pleasure, and defining what sex looks like for you.
tim5alive's review
5.0
This book is a great source of information for all people, able or non able, to understand more about themselves and their relationship with their own sexuality. It is written in a welcoming, fun and informative manner that is suitable for all audiences.
Specifically, this book provides great insight into the needs and wants of those who live with disabilities and chronic illnesses/pain; There are many points that people who are able bodied may never even consider at all.
One thing to keep in mind is that terminology changes and this book uses transgendered when it refers to trans/transgender people. Transgendered is an outdated and can be offensive in 2020 and best avoided.
Instead using trans/transgender would be preferred today. For more info on the evolution of this terminology: https://time.com/3630965/transgender-transgendered/
Specifically, this book provides great insight into the needs and wants of those who live with disabilities and chronic illnesses/pain; There are many points that people who are able bodied may never even consider at all.
One thing to keep in mind is that terminology changes and this book uses transgendered when it refers to trans/transgender people. Transgendered is an outdated and can be offensive in 2020 and best avoided.
Instead using trans/transgender would be preferred today. For more info on the evolution of this terminology: https://time.com/3630965/transgender-transgendered/
antlersantlers's review against another edition
5.0
This review was written for Happy Bodies and for the Carleton Gender and Sexuality Center.
A lot of things are tied up in sex. There are emotional considerations, the physical interaction, gender stereotypes, and personal pleasure (plus a whole lot more). There are also a lot of things tied up in disability. Physical and mental pain, fatigue, self-esteem, societal stereotypes, and day to day interactions with the world (again, plus a whole lot more).
Able-bodied sexual interactions can be plenty complicated. When you add disability or chronic illness (which are already a part of the daily lives of many people), things can get really stressful, even to the point where it can even feel like sex and living with a disability are incompatible. A really crucial part of any healthy sexual experience is to be able to communicate what you want and need. This is especially true when you have a disability, because your needs are often not met without additional effort. This book provides support and encouragement alongside expert advice, all aimed at helping people living with disabilities and chronic illness to create a healthy sex life that works for them.
Much of the advice is aimed at general areas that affect wide ranges of disabilities: pain, fatigue, mobility, self-esteem, and communication. But no one section of the book has just one potential solution to a problem, and there are often sections dedicated to particular disabilities. Instead there are suggestions based on different factors (like comfort, relationship, etc.) alongside specific information from experts and plenty of resources. One of the best parts of the book is the different sexual positions based on ability, and tons of tips about masturbation, toys, and getting to know your body and your body’s schedule.
This book makes it clear that sex and pleasure are not lost causes for people with disabilities and are, in fact, very possible. The book is encouraging and supportive, and makes a point to address the unique concerns of self-esteem and communication often associated with disability. The book is tremendously helpful for anyone with a disability or chronic illness, or anyone engaging in sexual relationships with partners with disabilities or chronic illnesses. It’s sex-positive, easy to read, and recognizes that all people deserve to have healthy sex lives, regardless of ability.
A lot of things are tied up in sex. There are emotional considerations, the physical interaction, gender stereotypes, and personal pleasure (plus a whole lot more). There are also a lot of things tied up in disability. Physical and mental pain, fatigue, self-esteem, societal stereotypes, and day to day interactions with the world (again, plus a whole lot more).
Able-bodied sexual interactions can be plenty complicated. When you add disability or chronic illness (which are already a part of the daily lives of many people), things can get really stressful, even to the point where it can even feel like sex and living with a disability are incompatible. A really crucial part of any healthy sexual experience is to be able to communicate what you want and need. This is especially true when you have a disability, because your needs are often not met without additional effort. This book provides support and encouragement alongside expert advice, all aimed at helping people living with disabilities and chronic illness to create a healthy sex life that works for them.
Much of the advice is aimed at general areas that affect wide ranges of disabilities: pain, fatigue, mobility, self-esteem, and communication. But no one section of the book has just one potential solution to a problem, and there are often sections dedicated to particular disabilities. Instead there are suggestions based on different factors (like comfort, relationship, etc.) alongside specific information from experts and plenty of resources. One of the best parts of the book is the different sexual positions based on ability, and tons of tips about masturbation, toys, and getting to know your body and your body’s schedule.
This book makes it clear that sex and pleasure are not lost causes for people with disabilities and are, in fact, very possible. The book is encouraging and supportive, and makes a point to address the unique concerns of self-esteem and communication often associated with disability. The book is tremendously helpful for anyone with a disability or chronic illness, or anyone engaging in sexual relationships with partners with disabilities or chronic illnesses. It’s sex-positive, easy to read, and recognizes that all people deserve to have healthy sex lives, regardless of ability.
rebeccap's review against another edition
I’ll probably come back to it at some point. I just have too much else going on right now
emsley13's review
4.0
I feel like this is better as a introductory book to sex in general. If you are looking for something specific, you should check out the 14th chapter that has all the other resources or do more research over the particular disability or illness you want to know more about in regards to sex.
somethinganonymous's review
It got weirdly prejudiced against certain kinds of media and was super outdated in terms around LGBT stuff in ways that made me very uncomfortable as a queer trans person.