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15 reviews for:
Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love
Robert Karen
4.25 AVERAGE
15 reviews for:
Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love
Robert Karen
4.25 AVERAGE
I had to read this book for school, but I think I would like to read it again when I have some more free time to really pay attention to whats being said instead of just skimming to answer questions in class. It was very interesting and definitely a topic I would love to know more about.
This book very much opened my eyes to why I'm the way I am. My therapist recommended it to me, and it was very helpful to read about others and what I can do to not let my detachment affect my relationships. It also freaked me out and made me not want to ever have kids because of all the pressures to not have a detached kiddo!
Absolutely enlightening. However, I have three small issues with this book:
1. It read like a biography at the beginning. Maybe I missed something where he explained it but I was a little confused why it wasn't called "Bowlby: a life" for a while.
2. Freud did not need to be referenced as much as he was. First explanation, groundwork, brief building on that to explain Anna, would have been enough.
3. Every once in a while the author would take detours into his own life and opinions. After so many points about thought being backed up be experiments and data I would have liked to see a) his own data and studies or b) his own opinions combined in one section before the end.
Otherwise a fabulous book, filled with detail and expanding knowledge about human development.
1. It read like a biography at the beginning. Maybe I missed something where he explained it but I was a little confused why it wasn't called "Bowlby: a life" for a while.
2. Freud did not need to be referenced as much as he was. First explanation, groundwork, brief building on that to explain Anna, would have been enough.
3. Every once in a while the author would take detours into his own life and opinions. After so many points about thought being backed up be experiments and data I would have liked to see a) his own data and studies or b) his own opinions combined in one section before the end.
Otherwise a fabulous book, filled with detail and expanding knowledge about human development.
A fascinating and in depth history of how attachment theory was developed and how we can use it today. The first third delves into the work of early psychoanalysts and the divisions between them, which sets the scene and context for attachment theory. As a student I found this fascinating but it might be a bit heavy/too detailed for the casual reader. There are more high level books on attachment that the causal reader might find more appropriate.
so good but needs update. I reviewed the new edition a couple of years ago but it still is not published.
"...a child needs to be lovingly attached to a reliable parental figure and...this need is a primary motivating force in human life..."
This book has been a fixture in my life for several months because it has taken me so long to read. Despite the fact that it is dense with research, it is written in a very accessible way. Robert Karen has a very measured and clear, almost clinical way of describing human behavior. Although his writing is subjective, it is balanced, and not brashly opinionated. It is not often that I actually look forward to reading a dense nonfiction book in the same way I look forward to reading lighter fiction, but I found myself looking forward to reading whenever I picked up this book.
I learned a lot from this book about myself, why I feel the way I do, and why others act the way they do. Although it takes time to work through, this book is worth it for anyone--but especially people who work with or have their own children.
This book has been a fixture in my life for several months because it has taken me so long to read. Despite the fact that it is dense with research, it is written in a very accessible way. Robert Karen has a very measured and clear, almost clinical way of describing human behavior. Although his writing is subjective, it is balanced, and not brashly opinionated. It is not often that I actually look forward to reading a dense nonfiction book in the same way I look forward to reading lighter fiction, but I found myself looking forward to reading whenever I picked up this book.
I learned a lot from this book about myself, why I feel the way I do, and why others act the way they do. Although it takes time to work through, this book is worth it for anyone--but especially people who work with or have their own children.
a nice introductory book on attachment and how it sets people up for life.
In this wonderfully written account of the growth and development of attachment theory in psychology, Robert Karen patiently outlines the main figures and the competing schools of thought that went into the still-growing field explaining how children attain their sense of selves and their psychological development. In other hands, I could definitely see the long account of academic debates becoming tedious, but Karen guides the reader through the morass with a sure hand, drawing connections between figures like John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, and Alan Sroufe, and clearly detailing their research and theories. It's about a lot more than monkeys and their wire mothers--although that's touched upon as well--and it's all covered in meticulous, well-researched, but never overwhelming, detail.
Through this account, you get a multifaceted view of the way that early environments shape, and even distort, one's psyche. Throughout this sensitive book, one can't help but reflect on one's own past with a new perspective.
Thoroughly engaging on more than one level.
Through this account, you get a multifaceted view of the way that early environments shape, and even distort, one's psyche. Throughout this sensitive book, one can't help but reflect on one's own past with a new perspective.
Thoroughly engaging on more than one level.
I was pleasantly surprised at how readable Karen's writing style is. The book is essentially a slow walk through the history of attachment history, from the beginnings of the field through the early 90s. I appreciated Karen's care in pointing out the potentially racist, classist, and sexist pitfalls in the work and either acknowledges them or explains the intent.
After finishing the book, many of the specific studies and details are blurred but the key points are easy to articulate:
*Babies need loving care in order to form secure attachments
*These secure attachments provide a "home base" from which to safely explore their world
Perhaps the most disquieting concept for me was the push for children to stay at home with a parent at least until their first birthday. In a country where 3 months of unpaid maternity leave is considered generous, my heart breaks for all the parents and children who get stuck between the harsh realities of the world and what the experts think is best for babies. Karen is sympathetic to this plight but there are no easy answers.
I would love to see another book covering what has happened in the field in the last 20 years to see what new insights have been gained.
After finishing the book, many of the specific studies and details are blurred but the key points are easy to articulate:
*Babies need loving care in order to form secure attachments
*These secure attachments provide a "home base" from which to safely explore their world
Perhaps the most disquieting concept for me was the push for children to stay at home with a parent at least until their first birthday. In a country where 3 months of unpaid maternity leave is considered generous, my heart breaks for all the parents and children who get stuck between the harsh realities of the world and what the experts think is best for babies. Karen is sympathetic to this plight but there are no easy answers.
I would love to see another book covering what has happened in the field in the last 20 years to see what new insights have been gained.