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3.4 AVERAGE
3.4 AVERAGE
*This review is for an ARC of the hardback edition which was received in return for honest feedback*
I was absolutely blow away by Hannah Beckerman's The Dead Wife's Handbook. Only after reading the book did I discover, in my quest to get my hands on other offerings from this author, that it is her debut novel, and what a debut it is.
Beckerman opens the novel by introducing Rachel who you quickly discover departed the world one year ago and has since been granted "access" to her husband, Max, and daughter, Ellie, at critical moments in their lives. She enters and retreats from each scen through white mist starting on that first anniversary as they ready themselves to go to her grave and following through a variety of firsts, and some seconds, that they have to endure without her. Through these moments we meet Max and Ellie who have a bond which truly warms your heart, who are grieving for Rachel and trying to find their way in a world without her. We meet Ralph and Joan, Max's parents, Conner, Max's brother, Celia, Rachel's mom, and Harriet, Rachel's best friend since college. We weave our way through Max and Ellie's relationships with each of these people and learn about Rachel's relationships with them. Eventually we are introduced to the women that Max dates as he tries to figure out how to move on without Rachel and are given window to how Max, Ellie and Rachel all deal with those circumstances.
The book is divided into parts that correlate with the stages of grief and I can honestly say that I felt like I went through each stage myself. I cannot remember the last time a book (or movie) took me through the emotional wringer the way this one did and at the end it left me wanting more of the story. What more can you ask for?
I was absolutely blow away by Hannah Beckerman's The Dead Wife's Handbook. Only after reading the book did I discover, in my quest to get my hands on other offerings from this author, that it is her debut novel, and what a debut it is.
Beckerman opens the novel by introducing Rachel who you quickly discover departed the world one year ago and has since been granted "access" to her husband, Max, and daughter, Ellie, at critical moments in their lives. She enters and retreats from each scen through white mist starting on that first anniversary as they ready themselves to go to her grave and following through a variety of firsts, and some seconds, that they have to endure without her. Through these moments we meet Max and Ellie who have a bond which truly warms your heart, who are grieving for Rachel and trying to find their way in a world without her. We meet Ralph and Joan, Max's parents, Conner, Max's brother, Celia, Rachel's mom, and Harriet, Rachel's best friend since college. We weave our way through Max and Ellie's relationships with each of these people and learn about Rachel's relationships with them. Eventually we are introduced to the women that Max dates as he tries to figure out how to move on without Rachel and are given window to how Max, Ellie and Rachel all deal with those circumstances.
The book is divided into parts that correlate with the stages of grief and I can honestly say that I felt like I went through each stage myself. I cannot remember the last time a book (or movie) took me through the emotional wringer the way this one did and at the end it left me wanting more of the story. What more can you ask for?
The Dead Wife's Handbook and I just did not get along, and I couldn't finish it - in fact, I didn't even make it halfway. I liked the concept, expecting something similar in feel to The Lovely Bones, which although also told from the point of a dead person, doesn't feel depressing. Unfortunately, whether because of the writing, my mood at the time, the fact that Rachel leaves behind a young family or the fact I'm a bit older and more understanding of death as a concept, I just couldn't get on with The Dead Wife's Handbook. I picked it up multiple times, and every time I struggled to make any headway, because it was too heart-breaking. I'm sure that if I could have made it further into the book I might have ended up enjoying it, but I just wasn't enjoying reading about Rachel watching her husband pushed towards dating. I ultimately found myself putting off reading because the story made me uncomfortable.
I obviously just wasn't in the right frame of mind when I tried this, and it's one to come back to and give another try.
I obviously just wasn't in the right frame of mind when I tried this, and it's one to come back to and give another try.
I'm not a great reader of chicklit, but I fell for the premise of this one (the narrator is a woman who died quite young, from husband and daughter) and was very curious to see how this debuting author would pull it off. She pulls it off very well and every person who will ever have to deal with grieving friends or relatives should actually read this book. It's better than most self-help books on the topic.
With such a constraining POV, something else must obviously suffer. So this is not great literature and quite often you think to yourself, that everybody in the book are a bit too perfect. But such is the premise and that's fine. If your friend is widowed or when one of your parents die - read this, even if it has you in tears. It will make life easier for both the grieving and you. The fourth star is not for its literary quality but for its merit as therapeutic tool.
Congratulations to Ms. Beckerman on a stellar debut.
With such a constraining POV, something else must obviously suffer. So this is not great literature and quite often you think to yourself, that everybody in the book are a bit too perfect. But such is the premise and that's fine. If your friend is widowed or when one of your parents die - read this, even if it has you in tears. It will make life easier for both the grieving and you. The fourth star is not for its literary quality but for its merit as therapeutic tool.
Congratulations to Ms. Beckerman on a stellar debut.
A little bit mawkish and overly sentimental and there seemed to be a vein running throughout that childless women are failures in some way... But I beetled along and finished it and there were some parts which tugged at the heartstrings.
I can't really say that this is a bad book. It's just so depressing. I suppose people might think differently....that the dead wife comes to terms with her lot and everyone ends up being as happily ever after as possible....but the wife is still dead....so screw that....life doesn't just happen because it's fate and it was meant to....sometimes life just sucks.....
Okay....maybe I'm jaded. My pops died several months ago and I think it is still hitting me....I find myself thinking of him more often then not lately and I overwhelmed sometimes....maybe that's why I disliked this book so much....but maybe it isn't.
We've all been told and comforted by the thoughts of our loved ones watching over us....right? Well this novel really put that into perspective for me. However, it was no comfort at all. It's horrifying. None of us are saints. Sure, some people will be saintly and be happy to know that our loved ones continue to live and move on from their grief. However....let's be honest.....would you really like to watch your husband and daughter move on with their lives without you.....we're not talking mythically....we are talking literally....
Because of my dad and the reasons that he died....I've been angry....I love him...not one bit less....but I'm pissed at choices he made and how those he left behind have to continue on without him....however....to think of him sitting there looking down and watching us suffer because of those choices...well, it makes me ill.
Yet, this is a novel where a dead wife is made to watch her husband and daughter move on in life without her....no matter how happy she is suppose to be.....it must be horrifying....
But to take it a step further....if we actually know that our loved ones are watching our every move....and not just the *romanticized* version of looking over us......well, I can't even imagine how that husband could have coped.
I won't go on....it's obvious how this book made me feel. Maybe it will give someone else comfort. However it just depressed me. I will also note that although time elapsed 2 plus years in this novel, I didn't feel as if the daughter aged at all. Her behaviour at the end seemed pretty spot on to what her behaviour was at the start.....I think the author got the behaviour correct at the start, but that the girl needed to progress....not how emotions or how she felt about her mum....or the new person in her life.....but just how she expressed it. She still acted like the 7 year old at the start and not the almost 10 year old....although it's not a huge age difference, the behaviour between the two ages for a young girl is huge....I also thought the added drama (no spoilers) that the new love interest shared of her life was unnecessary and was only added to gain sympathy votes from the reader....it had the opposite effect on me....I felt that the author tried to make this woman out to be absolutely perfect.....and really......no one likes perfection.....so although the whole subject was horrible, the author wrapped it all up in the disguise of happening to perfect people...it would have been much more interesting if at least one person got ugly and things got messy....instead everyone just gathered around at the end and sang Kumbaya.....
ummmm....no......that's not for me......
Now that I've ran my gob......Please don't let my somewhat negative review put you off this book....it was a very personal read for me and one I might not be emotionally equipped for at the moment....then again, this book was utterly depressing for me.....the whole concept....before I started it, it seemed like it would be fascinating....but right from the start it was just so depressing.....so hey ho...there you have it....I can't tell you if you should or shouldn't.....but if you start it and find it depressing for the reasons I mentioned....well....don't expect it to change by the ending....
ARC provided by Edelweiss for an honest review
www.RandomBookMuses.com
Okay....maybe I'm jaded. My pops died several months ago and I think it is still hitting me....I find myself thinking of him more often then not lately and I overwhelmed sometimes....maybe that's why I disliked this book so much....but maybe it isn't.
We've all been told and comforted by the thoughts of our loved ones watching over us....right? Well this novel really put that into perspective for me. However, it was no comfort at all. It's horrifying. None of us are saints. Sure, some people will be saintly and be happy to know that our loved ones continue to live and move on from their grief. However....let's be honest.....would you really like to watch your husband and daughter move on with their lives without you.....we're not talking mythically....we are talking literally....
Because of my dad and the reasons that he died....I've been angry....I love him...not one bit less....but I'm pissed at choices he made and how those he left behind have to continue on without him....however....to think of him sitting there looking down and watching us suffer because of those choices...well, it makes me ill.
Yet, this is a novel where a dead wife is made to watch her husband and daughter move on in life without her....no matter how happy she is suppose to be.....it must be horrifying....
But to take it a step further....if we actually know that our loved ones are watching our every move....and not just the *romanticized* version of looking over us......well, I can't even imagine how that husband could have coped.
I won't go on....it's obvious how this book made me feel. Maybe it will give someone else comfort. However it just depressed me. I will also note that although time elapsed 2 plus years in this novel, I didn't feel as if the daughter aged at all. Her behaviour at the end seemed pretty spot on to what her behaviour was at the start.....I think the author got the behaviour correct at the start, but that the girl needed to progress....not how emotions or how she felt about her mum....or the new person in her life.....but just how she expressed it. She still acted like the 7 year old at the start and not the almost 10 year old....although it's not a huge age difference, the behaviour between the two ages for a young girl is huge....I also thought the added drama (no spoilers) that the new love interest shared of her life was unnecessary and was only added to gain sympathy votes from the reader....it had the opposite effect on me....I felt that the author tried to make this woman out to be absolutely perfect.....and really......no one likes perfection.....so although the whole subject was horrible, the author wrapped it all up in the disguise of happening to perfect people...it would have been much more interesting if at least one person got ugly and things got messy....instead everyone just gathered around at the end and sang Kumbaya.....
ummmm....no......that's not for me......
Now that I've ran my gob......Please don't let my somewhat negative review put you off this book....it was a very personal read for me and one I might not be emotionally equipped for at the moment....then again, this book was utterly depressing for me.....the whole concept....before I started it, it seemed like it would be fascinating....but right from the start it was just so depressing.....so hey ho...there you have it....I can't tell you if you should or shouldn't.....but if you start it and find it depressing for the reasons I mentioned....well....don't expect it to change by the ending....
ARC provided by Edelweiss for an honest review
www.RandomBookMuses.com
Considering I didn't even remember reading this book until I checked my returned book status at the library, I obviously didn't love it. It was a lot of self serving "how can they go on without me" and I honestly skipped great swathes of paragraphs whenever I saw it coming. Not anywhere near as interesting as I hoped such a topic could be.
36 year old Rachel dies suddenly leaving behind her young daughter Ellie and her husband Max. 'The Dead Wife's Handbook' tells of Rachel watching her family come to terms with her sudden death and of her husband meeting someone else. The story is written from Rachel's perspective and follows the seven stages of grief.
A very moving and thought proving story.
A very moving and thought proving story.
*I received a free ARC of The Dead Wife's Handbook from Edelweiss in exchange of an honest and unbiased review*
ARC received on September 24th 2014
WOW, The Dead Wife's Handbook is a 37-year-old woman's journey of grief, after her own death. Dealing with her feelings of having left her husband and child behind, and all of the stages of grief that the living usually live through after the death of someone close to them.
Full review to come soon.
This and all my other reviews are originally posted on my blog (un)Conventional Bookviews
ARC received on September 24th 2014
WOW, The Dead Wife's Handbook is a 37-year-old woman's journey of grief, after her own death. Dealing with her feelings of having left her husband and child behind, and all of the stages of grief that the living usually live through after the death of someone close to them.
Full review to come soon.
This and all my other reviews are originally posted on my blog (un)Conventional Bookviews
This took me a while to get into - I actually started it twice as I wasn’t sure I liked the narrative from the dead wife’s perspective initially so read something else then came back to it.
And I’m really glad I did.
Obviously you know there can’t be a happy ending as Rachel is already dead at the start of the story and that is, I think, something you gave to get your head round as a hea is always the preferred ending.
As the book developed, I really got tangled up with the characters (living and dead) and there were times Max got on my nerves and I really felt for Rachel and there were times it was the other way round.
A thought-provoking book which has me crying at the end! Makes you think just how precious life is and, regardless of how long you get here, the important thing is what positive impact you have on those around you during that time.
Be kind and make memories.
And I’m really glad I did.
Obviously you know there can’t be a happy ending as Rachel is already dead at the start of the story and that is, I think, something you gave to get your head round as a hea is always the preferred ending.
As the book developed, I really got tangled up with the characters (living and dead) and there were times Max got on my nerves and I really felt for Rachel and there were times it was the other way round.
A thought-provoking book which has me crying at the end! Makes you think just how precious life is and, regardless of how long you get here, the important thing is what positive impact you have on those around you during that time.
Be kind and make memories.