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booksthatburn's review against another edition
emotional
funny
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
HUSBAND MATERIAL, the sequel to BOYFRIEND MATERIAL, shows Oliver and Luc two years onwards, surrounded by friends who are tying the knot. They start to feel like they should get married too, but it's hard to figure out a ceremony which will represent both of them. Oliver doesn't feel connected to what Luc thinks of as "queer culture" and Oliver perceives as encroaching Americanisms. Luc's dad is as disappointing as always, his mom is very strange but supportive, and Oliver's parents are frustrating and controlling. Things are getting tense and they don't know how they'll hold it together under all this pressure. Bridget and Tom are getting married, and Luc's shitbag ex-boyfriend has invited him to his wedding, for some reason. Those are just the first of several weddings around them, all between very different people with vastly different goals for their lives. It makes it hard for Luc and Oliver to figure out what they want for themselves, especially for an event which at times feels like it's for everyone else.
I especially like how this deals with grief, and the complex emotions of losing someone who has been a major force in one's life, especially when they've mostly been a negative influence. Someone can be terrible and important, and that's often hard to deal with. The shape of their absence can leave an enormous wound, even if their presence was slow suffering.
HUSBAND MATERIAL could kind of make sense for someone who hadn't read BOYFRIEND MATERIAL, but the emotional roller coaster of the first book means that a lot of processing and establishing of various relationship dynamics took place in BOYFRIEND MATERIAL, with the characters moving forward here after a time jump and a new status quo to be disrupted by all these weddings.
I like the ending, it fits Oliver and Luc as individuals and as a couple. They are figuring out their relationship, not anyone else's, but it takes a while for them to understand what they actually want from the socially proscribed steps and ceremonies on the relationship escalator.
I especially like how this deals with grief, and the complex emotions of losing someone who has been a major force in one's life, especially when they've mostly been a negative influence. Someone can be terrible and important, and that's often hard to deal with. The shape of their absence can leave an enormous wound, even if their presence was slow suffering.
HUSBAND MATERIAL could kind of make sense for someone who hadn't read BOYFRIEND MATERIAL, but the emotional roller coaster of the first book means that a lot of processing and establishing of various relationship dynamics took place in BOYFRIEND MATERIAL, with the characters moving forward here after a time jump and a new status quo to be disrupted by all these weddings.
I like the ending, it fits Oliver and Luc as individuals and as a couple. They are figuring out their relationship, not anyone else's, but it takes a while for them to understand what they actually want from the socially proscribed steps and ceremonies on the relationship escalator.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Classism
Moderate: Infidelity, Homophobia, Grief, Abandonment, Death of parent, Cursing, and Death
Minor: Toxic relationship, Fatphobia, Transphobia, Body shaming, Eating disorder, Body horror, and Excrement
levilore_'s review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
I really enjoyed this book! It had a lot of great moments, but be aware that it is very different in vibes from the first book. Rather than Boyfriend Material which was much more "fanfic trope" this book deals with what it is actually like being in an adult relationship, what queer love means, marriage as an institution, and grief. It had a lot of amazing moments, but didn't have the iron grip on my heart like the first book, which honestly worked well for the plot/themes. Had some moments that genuinely made me yell out loud from excitement and other times I fully started crying. I only knocked it down a few points because the beginning was a bit slow for my taste.
Now the ending.I saw other reviews saying they hated this book because the ending was so disappointing and frustrating. I see where people are coming from, the whole build up to the wedding and then for them to not even get married was somewhat disappointing plus the last chapter felt a bit rushed. However, I do not think the ending didn't make sense and I believe many people missed the point of this story.
Throughout the different weddings, Luc and Oliver obviously have different opinions about what marriage means and in Oliver's case, he is still figuring out what being queer means for him. The other weddings celebrate the joy of marriage and how individualized the experience is for each couple. My main takeaway from the book was that for Luc and Oliver, the act of marriage isn't, well, that important. For them, not being married is more important because it's an act of protest. Neither of them really talk about why they want to be married, rather they are both focused on the expectations that they should want to get married. They already do all the things that a life partner does for each other. Luc shows this when he supports Oliver through his dad's death. Oliver supports Luc when they go to Miles' wedding. The only time their communication fully breaks down is when they are trying to plan an event neither of them want. For the characters, the ending makes sense. Is it extremely dramatic and surprising? Absolutely. But through that act, through their complete honesty with each other, they are able to have their version of what love means, which is them bailing on their own wedding, running into the rain, and making out. (I really enjoyed the sweet touch of the rainbow umbrellas)
In a larger context, I enjoyed this book because it explores the complexity of queerness and marriage. They talk about how marriage is an important right for queer people, but there is no right way to be queer. Having that conventional expression of love, for a relationship that started and continues to be unconventional, just doesn't work for them. And that's the point of the ending. Did it annoy me that they wasted all that time and money just to not get married? Yes, it did. Do I think they could have just had a big party and skipped the ceremony? Absolutely. But I think that's the whole point. From the outside, them running off looks absolutely ridiculous and stupid, but character wise it makes sense because honestly they are both kind of ridiculous and stupid. People want everything to be wrapped up in this beautiful bow of marriage = happiness but I think Alexis Hall uses this book to show how true queerness is about accepting that not being married, not having the flashy rainbow ceremony, should be just as beautiful as all those things. The idea of "love is love" should not just be "love is love if you follow the traditional normative conventions of how love should be expressed", but rather "love is complex and weird and that is beautiful too". And I personally think that is more impactful than them getting married in the first place.
Now the ending.
Throughout the different weddings, Luc and Oliver obviously have different opinions about what marriage means and in Oliver's case, he is still figuring out what being queer means for him. The other weddings celebrate the joy of marriage and how individualized the experience is for each couple. My main takeaway from the book was that for Luc and Oliver, the act of marriage isn't, well, that important. For them, not being married is more important because it's an act of protest. Neither of them really talk about why they want to be married, rather they are both focused on the expectations that they should want to get married. They already do all the things that a life partner does for each other. Luc shows this when he supports Oliver through his dad's death. Oliver supports Luc when they go to Miles' wedding. The only time their communication fully breaks down is when they are trying to plan an event neither of them want. For the characters, the ending makes sense. Is it extremely dramatic and surprising? Absolutely. But through that act, through their complete honesty with each other, they are able to have their version of what love means, which is them bailing on their own wedding, running into the rain, and making out. (I really enjoyed the sweet touch of the rainbow umbrellas)
In a larger context, I enjoyed this book because it explores the complexity of queerness and marriage. They talk about how marriage is an important right for queer people, but there is no right way to be queer. Having that conventional expression of love, for a relationship that started and continues to be unconventional, just doesn't work for them. And that's the point of the ending. Did it annoy me that they wasted all that time and money just to not get married? Yes, it did. Do I think they could have just had a big party and skipped the ceremony? Absolutely. But I think that's the whole point. From the outside, them running off looks absolutely ridiculous and stupid, but character wise it makes sense because honestly they are both kind of ridiculous and stupid. People want everything to be wrapped up in this beautiful bow of marriage = happiness but I think Alexis Hall uses this book to show how true queerness is about accepting that not being married, not having the flashy rainbow ceremony, should be just as beautiful as all those things. The idea of "love is love" should not just be "love is love if you follow the traditional normative conventions of how love should be expressed", but rather "love is complex and weird and that is beautiful too". And I personally think that is more impactful than them getting married in the first place.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death of parent, Cursing, Eating disorder, Body shaming, Sexism, Grief, Homophobia, Classism, Abandonment, Alcohol, Fatphobia, and Sexual content
Minor: Suicidal thoughts, Gaslighting, Injury/Injury detail, Racism, Transphobia, Vomit, Cancer, Infidelity, and Excrement
hrtlss_grl's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Content Warnings
Graphic: Emotional abuse and Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Grief, Panic attacks/disorders, Vomit, Abandonment, Cursing, Eating disorder, and Homophobia
greenlivingaudioworm's review against another edition
adventurous
emotional
funny
hopeful
lighthearted
reflective
relaxing
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Homophobia, Abandonment, Death of parent, Grief, Alcohol, Infidelity, and Panic attacks/disorders
headinthepages's review against another edition
emotional
funny
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Moderate: Cancer, Death, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Grief, Vomit, Alcohol, Death of parent, Abandonment, Homophobia, Mental illness, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, and Transphobia
Minor: Suicide
lisa_m's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
I really wanted to love this. And I do still very much love the writing style of Alexis Hall. I don't think Boyfriend Material needed a sequels though.
I loved Boyfriend Material. It's so funny and charming and real. That is still true for Husband Material but the story is just.. not that great. It's basically just a series of weddings and a funeral .
I was really excited for this book and now I'm unsure what to think of it. Was is funny? Yes, absolutely! Alexis Hall is one of the few authors that can actually make me laugh out loud. I really enjoy this books humour. Still the plot just kind of fell flat to me. After all the turmoil of the first book it felt like a bit of a betrayal to have the characters struggle again.
I do appreciate the realness of the book. Especially the ending was amazing and I really loved to read about this conclusion. BUT even though I loved the plot of the ending it felt really abrupt and sudden.
Also Luc is such a hypocrite. I get that you need it for the drama of the big conclusion but it still annoyed me. Honestly the whole book was just soo full of misunderstandings and fights I started to doubt whether Luc and Oliver are actually good together. I like that it shows how in real relationships you do fight and have disagreements but sometimes it just felt too personal.
All in all I loved some parts of this book, enjoyed others. Sometimes I was really bored and thought about dnfing the book. Sometimes I was just ambivalent and sometimes I gut really angry at the book. It was okay and did the best it could I guess but also I don't think anything could really live up to the expectations I had just because of how much I loved Boyfriend Material.
I loved Boyfriend Material. It's so funny and charming and real. That is still true for Husband Material but the story is just.. not that great. It's basically just a series of weddings
I was really excited for this book and now I'm unsure what to think of it. Was is funny? Yes, absolutely! Alexis Hall is one of the few authors that can actually make me laugh out loud. I really enjoy this books humour. Still the plot just kind of fell flat to me. After all the turmoil of the first book it felt like a bit of a betrayal to have the characters struggle again.
I do appreciate the realness of the book. Especially the ending was amazing and I really loved to read about this conclusion. BUT even though I loved the plot of the ending it felt really abrupt and sudden.
All in all I loved some parts of this book, enjoyed others. Sometimes I was really bored and thought about dnfing the book. Sometimes I was just ambivalent and sometimes I gut really angry at the book. It was okay and did the best it could I guess but also I don't think anything could really live up to the expectations I had just because of how much I loved Boyfriend Material.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Grief, Classism, Cursing, Death of parent, Abandonment, Death, Emotional abuse, and Homophobia
includes complicated, toxic relationship with parents / familyannahamburger's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Cursing, Gaslighting, Homophobia, and Sexual content
Moderate: Body shaming, Death, Dysphoria, Eating disorder, Abandonment, Alcohol, and Death of parent
Minor: Infidelity
merah's review against another edition
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Plot
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Classism, Grief, Vomit, Cursing, Death, and Death of parent
Moderate: Alcohol, Biphobia, Eating disorder, Mental illness, Homophobia, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, and Abandonment
Minor: Dysphoria, Cancer, Eating disorder, Terminal illness, and Infidelity
Never feeling worthy / good enough (very graphic!) Difficult family dynamics. Feelings of child abandonment.redheadorganist's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
emotional
funny
inspiring
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Homophobia, Grief, and Death of parent
Moderate: Abandonment, Vomit, Panic attacks/disorders, and Emotional abuse
Minor: Sexual content
ehmannky's review against another edition
funny
lighthearted
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Honestly this book was a 3.75 kind of book for me but so many people in the reviews are just like...mischaracterizing Luc that out of spite and annoyance I'm rating it higher. And actually, in thinking why so many of these reviews are annoying me, I've worked out some things through reading this book that make me like it more than I did while I was reading it. I do still think that every wedding section could have been about 50 pages shorter though.
One thing that thinking about this book kind of highlighted to me was the ways in which queer folk can get trapped in heteronormative thinking. Like, Luc has no way to tell Oliver how much he loves and care for him other than proposing to him, because that's just what you do when you feel like you want to be with someone forever. And it's interesting that the second they switch to being fiancés, their entire dynamic changes. So many people in the reviews are mad that Luc and Oliver don't communicate better after two years of a relationship. But they're actually great communicators when they're not forcing themselves into a dynamic they don't want to be in and feels wrong to them. Like, compare any of their fights over petty wedding shit to the fight they have during Bridget's section. During that fight it is clear Oliver and mad and disappointed, but they both handle it rather well and healthy. Entering into the fiancé dynamic changes their ability communicate because now instead of their relationship being just for them, it's about everything outside of them. I know a lot of the reviews are upset because they feel Luc is calling Oliver a Bad Gay because he doesn't like or even want to entertain the idea of having any outwardly queer signifiers at his wedding, but it's pretty clearly spelled out that the reason Luc is so hung up on this is because it feels like Oliver is rejecting a big part of who Luc is (because Luc does intensely relate to Queer Culture and outward signifiers of being gay). As Bridget's section spells out, in traditional heternormative culture, your wedding is the Biggest Day of Your Life and it has to be perfect because it represents you and what kind of couple you are to the world. Because they're caught up in an institution that wasn't designed for them or one that either of them ever really wanted to be in (Luc even mentions multiple times that he really never did dream of what it would be like to be a groom), they can't resolve their differences the way they would normally. Because the problem isn't each other, it's the institution they're thinking of entering. Even before you get to the cold feet at the end of the book (which I get why so many people don't like, but I think reading it again you'd probably see a lot more signs of both Luc and Oliver's reluctance to actually get married--they both offer a "we can postpone the wedding if you want" to each other multiple times), it's really clear that Luc doesn't want to get married. He just wanted to tell Oliver he loves him and wants to commit to him and Oliver wanted to make Luc happy (because it's only been 2 years of therapy and he is a profoundly messed up man). The fact Luc couldn't even fathom an alternative just kind of shows that he's also trapped in heteronormative thinking just as much as Oliver can be, because he truly couldn't think of an alternative way to be with Oliver forever outside of a thing he didn't really want to do. And it comes to a head towards the end of the book when they decide, in fact, that this does feel wrong and that they have been unhappy ever since they got engaged and that they should be together but not get married.
Also, so many people in the reviews are like "how dare Luc even vaguely hint towards Oliver that he has internalized homophobia (which he phrased badly because they were running on 2 hours of sleep) just because he has no queer friends outside of his boyfriend, was raised in an intensely homophobic household by emotionally abusive parents, and is repulsed by all queer iconography and doesn't want any at his wedding." Like, yeah, if I met this man irl I would also think he's repressing something. Even Oliver says he should really think about this with his therapist cause there might be something there. Why are you all mad!
One thing that thinking about this book kind of highlighted to me was the ways in which queer folk can get trapped in heteronormative thinking. Like, Luc has no way to tell Oliver how much he loves and care for him other than proposing to him, because that's just what you do when you feel like you want to be with someone forever. And it's interesting that the second they switch to being fiancés, their entire dynamic changes. So many people in the reviews are mad that Luc and Oliver don't communicate better after two years of a relationship. But they're actually great communicators when they're not forcing themselves into a dynamic they don't want to be in and feels wrong to them. Like, compare any of their fights over petty wedding shit to the fight they have during Bridget's section. During that fight it is clear Oliver and mad and disappointed, but they both handle it rather well and healthy. Entering into the fiancé dynamic changes their ability communicate because now instead of their relationship being just for them, it's about everything outside of them. I know a lot of the reviews are upset because they feel Luc is calling Oliver a Bad Gay because he doesn't like or even want to entertain the idea of having any outwardly queer signifiers at his wedding, but it's pretty clearly spelled out that the reason Luc is so hung up on this is because it feels like Oliver is rejecting a big part of who Luc is (because Luc does intensely relate to Queer Culture and outward signifiers of being gay). As Bridget's section spells out, in traditional heternormative culture, your wedding is the Biggest Day of Your Life and it has to be perfect because it represents you and what kind of couple you are to the world. Because they're caught up in an institution that wasn't designed for them or one that either of them ever really wanted to be in (Luc even mentions multiple times that he really never did dream of what it would be like to be a groom), they can't resolve their differences the way they would normally. Because the problem isn't each other, it's the institution they're thinking of entering. Even before you get to the cold feet at the end of the book (which I get why so many people don't like, but I think reading it again you'd probably see a lot more signs of both Luc and Oliver's reluctance to actually get married--they both offer a "we can postpone the wedding if you want" to each other multiple times), it's really clear that Luc doesn't want to get married. He just wanted to tell Oliver he loves him and wants to commit to him and Oliver wanted to make Luc happy (because it's only been 2 years of therapy and he is a profoundly messed up man). The fact Luc couldn't even fathom an alternative just kind of shows that he's also trapped in heteronormative thinking just as much as Oliver can be, because he truly couldn't think of an alternative way to be with Oliver forever outside of a thing he didn't really want to do. And it comes to a head towards the end of the book when they decide, in fact, that this does feel wrong and that they have been unhappy ever since they got engaged and that they should be together but not get married.
Also, so many people in the reviews are like "how dare Luc even vaguely hint towards Oliver that he has internalized homophobia (which he phrased badly because they were running on 2 hours of sleep) just because he has no queer friends outside of his boyfriend, was raised in an intensely homophobic household by emotionally abusive parents, and is repulsed by all queer iconography and doesn't want any at his wedding." Like, yeah, if I met this man irl I would also think he's repressing something. Even Oliver says he should really think about this with his therapist cause there might be something there. Why are you all mad!
Content Warnings
Moderate: Homophobia and Emotional abuse
Minor: Abandonment