Reviews with content warning for Death of parent - You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty

I’d heard great things about Akwaeke Emezi’s writing but mainly about their YA novels Pet and the companion novella Bitter. Since I downloaded Libby *angel choir noise* I was disappointed to not find the audiobook version of Pet on there but You Made a Fool came up instead. After briefly scanning the blurb, I decided to jump in. And oh, what a gloriously realised world Akwaeke has made.

The rub is that our artist MC, Feyi, is dipping her toes back into the dating scene after the death of her husband five years prior with the help of Joy, her chaotic, lesbian friend. After a brief but ends-as-friends- situationship with a man called Milan, Feyi begins a let’s-be-friends-first relationship with Nasir, one of Milan’s friends. Nasir, who comes from a VERY well-connected family, presents Feyi an opportunity to be a part of an exhibition of Black Diaspora artists. Fast-forward to Nasir taking Feyi to his gorgeous tropical family home (I’m not a visual reader, but I could SEE this house from Akwaeke’s descriptions!!) and to also meet Nasir’s equal parts rich and reclusive celebrity chef.

It sounds like the start to a very light-hearted tropical holiday romance, right? WRONG.

Nasir’s father, Alim, is like Feyi – a lonely widower – and Feyi experiences an immediate attraction to Alim that she tries to stifle and explain away as it existing because Alim is “unattainable” and, while she is technically not in a romantic relationship with Nasir, would be frowned upon.

I won’t spoil too much, but the story touches very deeply into the ways grief can change your soul and provide a bond between people – both romantic and platonic. The building relationship between Alim and Feyi (who are both bisexual!) is never presented as a titillating trope, but rather as two deeply injured humans navigating their trauma and grief and deciding to choose love as a way to move through life. There’s so much narrative freedom to Feyi – the story focuses so much Feyi allowing herself to be who she needs to be and without compromising her ideals or happiness.

The story gets quite intense around the time Alim’s children find out about this burgeoning romance (I had to turn my audio off at one point on the way home from work because it was stressful to listen to at that time), and the story could easily fall apart with various miscommunications but instead Akwaeke carries us safely to the story’s end. I could wax poetic about this book, but also! Joy being an incredible friend throughout this story? Feyi and Alim both being adults who actively go to therapy? All amazing to see in a contemporary romance novel.

Content Warnings

hillysreads's review

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emotional medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

Content Warnings

binevolentbookworm's review against another edition

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dark emotional tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

4.0

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sarahmcg's review against another edition

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challenging emotional hopeful lighthearted tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

How did I read this book and end up cheering for the messy af FMC and the dad???

I guess for as much as I love a trope-filled rom-com, I can also really appreciate a complicated lit-fic love story, romance but also an exploration of grief, friendship, and art/creativity.

Read this if you love MESS, taboo/forbidden/age gap romance, finding love after loss, complicated FMC.

The writing was very beautiful; poetic, with gorgeous descriptions of the tropical island mountain home, art, music, and food. This was my first read by Emezi and it won’t be my last.

The only critique I have is I totally understood the emotional connection that Feyi and Alim formed, but for some reason I still had a little bit of difficulty with the believability of their chemistry (not sure if it was maybe the age gap or something else?) - but overall I’d give 4.5⭐️

I want a book about Joy!!!

CW/TW: discussions of loss of spouse (in past but discussed throughout - 1) car accident 2) drowning), sexual content, descriptions of blood, domestic incident.

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just_one_more_paige's review

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emotional hopeful reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

This is one of the most polarizing love-hate reaction books I've seen recently. So, of course, I had to see for myself. It's a little late, as far as the peak timing of the conversation about it (it was published two years ago now), but I'm ready to weigh in. And, spoilers, I am so glad I read it for myself!

It's been five years since Feyi survived the car accident that killed her husband and love of her life. And she's finally starting to live again: living with her bestie, Joy, creating art in her own studio, and maybe getting back into the dating scene. After a steamy encounter at a party gets her back into things with a bang (#sorrynotsorry), she finds herself talking to another guy, Nasir, who invites her to spend some time with his at his family home on an (unnamed) Caribbean island *and* show her work as part of a major show. She goes (like, who wouldn't?). And in addition to the luxury home and offer for a major break in her artistic career, Feyi meets Nasir's father, a world-renowned chef, Alim. The connection between them is strong and hot and, though both try to ignore it, the pull is too much to resist (and things get a bit messy after that).

Alright y'all. I see why everyone had such strong reactions to this book. I had one too. And you can officially mark me as "Team Feyi" - I'm falling on the "love" side of this love-hate dichotomy. At about twenty percent of the way into reading, I wrote this: "More than anything I’m impressed with this nuanced look at getting over a love lost traumatically. Balancing the need to be close to someone else versus the fear and guilt of letting that happen again...and the (much) easier option of keeping things light/unattached/in no way reminiscent of what the past held." I kept waiting and waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the part where I was like "oh no, Feyi, cringe." But, it just never happened. Did things get dramatic and messy? Oh, big yes. There was no way to avoid that with a setup like this (it would have been disingenuous and a much worse story). And yet. I never stopped being impressed.

Mainly, I got so emotionally invested in Feyi and Alim. The small (and then growing) moments between them were so touching. It hurt to read their pain, and that absolutely leaned me into "cheering" for them (just the idea of losing my own love in that kind of traumatic way, in any way really, leaves me devastated so I am inclined to support pretty much any style of coping/recovery, tbh). But it was also soothing and hopeful, the way they were able to connect through and because of those shared experiences and feelings. (The sexual tension was top notch.) I mean yes, a few times, knowing that they knew the draw between them was powerful, they did make some slightly questionable choices. And mayyyyyybe Feyi "led Nasir on" a bit, but also let's talk about how friend-zoning and her "owing" a feeling somehow (one she hoped would develop, but just...didn't) is BS and I'm disinclined to feel bad for him in that respect. However, I also feel like Feyi and Alim did recognize how difficult things would be for Nasir and the way things fell out was a bit outside their control? Also, Nasir's reaction was a lot and honestly didn't help me feel any more sympathetic towards him. For me, it came down to the fact that the connection between Feyi and Alim was so clear and deep and bound up in some tender and painful parallel memories. They bonded on a deeper level and, to me, it makes sense that it’d be difficult to resist that.

Also, beyond Feyi and Alim, there were so many other aspects of this novel and reading experience that I loved. Joy is a chaotic bestie and was entertaining AF to read. I loved the way Feyi used art to cope and express (and I loved the pieces that she made!). The installation especially, it hit hard and raw and leaves behind, as one of the “curators” said, a very real ache. I was here for the bisexual rep from characters who had both had more hetero-looking relationships previously and here, with each other, while also sharing, on-page, same-sex experiences they'd had. Sort of on that topic, I very, very rarely read anything with a parent coming out to their children, especially in a situation where it doesn't go well. (It sort of happened in All My Mother’s Lovers, but that was a very different vibes/situation style novel.) It was (surprisingly, though idk why I feel that way because it wouldn’t have felt like a surprise if the ages were reversed…maybe I hope for more acceptance/inclusivity from younger generations as a rule, maybe just because it’s an unfamiliar story) particularly heart-wrenching. And, though I would expect nothing less from Emezi at this point (after reading Freshwater and The Death of Vivek Oji) the writing was gorgeous and original and poetically descriptive and, overall, really stunning.

To reiterate, in case there was any way you missed it, I loved this book. I have already recommended it to numerous people, and I will continue to do so. #sorrynotsorry

"I think we’re just figuring out how to survive a world on fire… that it’s okay to be alive.”

"Everyone had a right to keep some hurts buried and private."

"...they were turning her into a woman who wanted so loudly that it was drowning out the logic of a choice, and that terrified Feyi. That felt dangerous, fast and menacing. She had to get away from it."

"She was hers; she was alive; there was so much to do."

“I used to try to capture it in a camera when I was younger. It was… so futile.” He laughed. “Some things are only meant to exist in our eyes, I think.”

"She let too many secrets fall into the syllables, a foolish accident that threaded a vein of hunger into her voice..."

'"...there are so many different types of love, so many ways someone can stay committed to you, stay in your life even if y’all aren’t together, you know? And none of these ways are more important than the other.”

"Feyi’s heart beat wildly against her ribs as the taste of mango detonated in her mouth. She felt like she was leaping off a waterfall, the rush of a river clamoring in her ears."

"Showing work like this felt a little like screaming out loud in a public place, screaming and screaming until someone understood what the fuck had happened to her, until it drove them to silence because there was nothing, nothing any of them could say to make it better."

"None of this mattered, except the parts that did."

"I want you—I want us to know that this is real. That it survives the mountain, that it can cross the sea and still be there, in our hearts.”

Content Warnings

ebartsch85's review against another edition

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emotional hopeful tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

I can feel the weight of this book sitting in my chest. It feels like an open wound that has begun to heal from the beauty and rawness of this book. I honestly didn't know what to think when the book began but this book feels like life. As our main character says its "messy and alive." This is truly beautiful.

“You were like light. I couldn’t help but to turn my face to you if I wanted to keep living.”

"We're doing this?"
"What...setting our lives on fire? Sounds fantastic."
"I'll burn with you."

Content Warnings

ronjabjoerk's review against another edition

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emotional lighthearted medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? A mix
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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