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podanotherjessi's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
medium-paced
5.0
I'm not in the habit of giving non-fiction ratings, but in this case, the book deserves credit. Beautifully written and wonderfully research, all so Machado could tell her own story. This was difficult and emotional to read, but really worth it. I just wish I knew who to recommend this to. It's probably the kind of book that if you read the description and reading it scares you a little, give it a shot. But take it slowly, this is a hard read.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Cursing, Domestic abuse, and Panic attacks/disorders
Moderate: Alcoholism, Pregnancy, Sexual content, and Sexual violence
soswitty's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual assault, Emotional abuse, and Alcoholism
kayleyhyde's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
4.5
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, and Mental illness
Moderate: Physical abuse, Suicidal thoughts, Alcoholism, and Body shaming
Minor: Fatphobia, Homophobia, and Vomit
allesartemis's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
reflective
tense
slow-paced
5.0
Beautifully written, raw, and emotional.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse
Moderate: Adult/minor relationship, Alcoholism, and Homophobia
opinionsofawolf's review against another edition
dark
reflective
medium-paced
3.0
In the Afterword you find out that some of the chapters of this book were previously written as essays for some websites (such as The Hairpin). It made the feel of the book make more sense to know that, so I think others should know that going in.
It's difficult to review a memoir that you didn't like that much. On the one hand, I always appreciate the author's bravery in sharing their story to the public. On the other hand, I can't help it that I just didn't like the book very much. I want to be clear that I wasn't expecting to enjoy it - I knew this was about an abusive relationship so enjoy would absolutely be the wrong word. I suppose the most honest statement would be that I just didn't like the people in the book very much - including the ones I was supposed to empathize with. I'm a bisexual woman too of a similar age to the author, so you might expect that I would find her relatable, but I didn't, and that made me struggle with this one. While this is a memoir and on the one hand personal is expected, I don't want to say anything personal about the author beyond that. It wasn't relatable for me, and I didn't like anyone in it very much.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Vomit and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Biphobia, and Alcoholism
This has the potential to be triggering for anyone who has been in a toxic relationship. The tone of the book is very much of a victim mindset. The author claims her bisexuality while simultaneously telling an uncle she's a lesbian and calling her f/f relationship lesbian relationships. These are symptoms of internalized biphobia.leahrosereads's review against another edition
dark
emotional
informative
reflective
tense
medium-paced
5.0
Dream House as Reality.
You tried to tell your story to people who didn't know how to listen. You made a fool of yourself, in more ways than one. I thought you died, but writing this, I'm not sure you did.
In the Dream House is a memoir showing domestic abuse in a queer relationship. The author describes her trauma in poetic prose that is so freaking haunting. Every aspect of her story resonated so deeply with me, and there's a reminder here that being queer doesn't make you good or bad. It just makes you queer, and you're able to fall for the same mistakes that anyone else could - include falling in love with a monster and staying in an abusive relationship.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Drug use, Sexual content, Toxic relationship, and Emotional abuse
Moderate: Alcoholism, Body shaming, Cursing, and Drug use
frenzyreads's review against another edition
adventurous
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
mysterious
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
5.0
But that's the minority anxiety, right? That is you're not careful, someone will see you -or people who share your identity - doing something human and use it against you. . . . In trying to get people to see your humanity, you reveal just that: your humanity. Your fundamentally problematic nature. All the unique and terrible ways in which people can, and do, fail. But people have trouble with this concept.'
Each chapter is entitled "Dream House As ___" and the different lens that Machado views the experience through.
Each section can almost function as its own vignettes - some of them even more powerful than others.
The approach that Machado has incorporated here is incredibly creative and powerful in the genre-bending she achieves by considering so many different themes and lens.
For her own benefit, for the benefit of those who have been in abusive LGBTQIA+ relationships everywhere, she inverts the Archive™️ to create her own archival collection. First person, I, refers to the present Machado, who is on the other side of the relationship, reflecting back and addition, second person perspective is past Machado, locked into a pattern future self has already experienced.
Machado is achieving a few things here. The archive is a notoriously guarded capsule of academically approved stories, evidence for consumption. Machado is bucking both the safeguards of a very cis, white heterosexual academic institution. Additionally, she is cultivating her own record for examination of the abusive same-sex relationship she has endured to aid others who have been there also.
Each vignette, from a single sentence to a couple pages, examines The Dream House (the relationship and it's consequences) through a different lens as named. The creativity cracks open memory, storytelling, narrative form.
A modern classic already and a favourite of so many for good reason.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Alcoholism and Sexual violence
booksnailmail's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
In the Dream House: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
A book for pandemic soul searchers: I feel like days roll out endlessly in all four cardinal directions, tracing latitudes until they eventually meet again at the bottom of the Earth. Maybe this rock bottom is where “normal life” can restart. I couldn’t have read In the Dream House at a better time, as Machado's narrative echoed my current headspace.
What is the Dream House? As Machado's long distance relationship with the blonde woman gets closer (both relationship and distance), there is a shift: subtle at first, then gaining momentum. The woman brings a rage into the house that is a violation of safety and self-esteem. Machado is in an abusive relationship she can’t let go of. The Dream House, it turns out, is a metaphor for her body and mind.
Machado recounts this tumultuous time period in her life with fervor and purpose. This is NOT your everyday memoir. It breaks boundaries in multiple ways - first, the experimental writing style. In fact, there is even a mindf*ck “choose your own adventure” section. Second, the first of its kind to depict abuse in a queer relationship. This is why I cling to the copy on my shelf. As a queer, latinx, and self-identified large woman, Machado has been proving over and over that she is intelligent and worthy. That she deserves what she has earned. So, if she is so successful and intelligent, then how could this happen? How could a wisp of a woman be her abuser? And haven’t queer people been fighting for the right to love forever? It seems unimaginable go abuse in a relationship thus earned, right?
Tackling these questions head on, Machado is candid with her struggle to want to represent queer relationships with humanity, which means showing the ugliness of humanity. I hate to use the word heartbreaking to describe this. Yes, abuse is heartbreaking, but this memoir is about strength. It is the strength in believing your own story. The strength is moving forward from abuse that society, sometimes even your own community, wants to hide. This book exists at the intersection of protecting queer relationships and protecting domestic abuse survivors. Machado paves the way.
A book for pandemic soul searchers: I feel like days roll out endlessly in all four cardinal directions, tracing latitudes until they eventually meet again at the bottom of the Earth. Maybe this rock bottom is where “normal life” can restart. I couldn’t have read In the Dream House at a better time, as Machado's narrative echoed my current headspace.
What is the Dream House? As Machado's long distance relationship with the blonde woman gets closer (both relationship and distance), there is a shift: subtle at first, then gaining momentum. The woman brings a rage into the house that is a violation of safety and self-esteem. Machado is in an abusive relationship she can’t let go of. The Dream House, it turns out, is a metaphor for her body and mind.
Machado recounts this tumultuous time period in her life with fervor and purpose. This is NOT your everyday memoir. It breaks boundaries in multiple ways - first, the experimental writing style. In fact, there is even a mindf*ck “choose your own adventure” section. Second, the first of its kind to depict abuse in a queer relationship. This is why I cling to the copy on my shelf. As a queer, latinx, and self-identified large woman, Machado has been proving over and over that she is intelligent and worthy. That she deserves what she has earned. So, if she is so successful and intelligent, then how could this happen? How could a wisp of a woman be her abuser? And haven’t queer people been fighting for the right to love forever? It seems unimaginable go abuse in a relationship thus earned, right?
Tackling these questions head on, Machado is candid with her struggle to want to represent queer relationships with humanity, which means showing the ugliness of humanity. I hate to use the word heartbreaking to describe this. Yes, abuse is heartbreaking, but this memoir is about strength. It is the strength in believing your own story. The strength is moving forward from abuse that society, sometimes even your own community, wants to hide. This book exists at the intersection of protecting queer relationships and protecting domestic abuse survivors. Machado paves the way.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Alcoholism, Violence, Toxic relationship, Physical abuse, Mental illness, Infidelity, Emotional abuse, Domestic abuse, and Body shaming
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