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noahsingh's review
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
Interesting but couldn't hack the sheer amount of annoying men the main character was attached/attracted to.
The main interesting aspects to me (Palestinian heritage + relationship with their mother + the instances of Islamophobia/ acism & Zionism she faces) had very little space in the book.
Also I do think her outing that woman was unforgivable and I Hate Hate Hated that that (trigger warning) literal rapist white guy at The Lodge is, if anything, forgiven/absolved by the narrative.
The main interesting aspects to me (Palestinian heritage + relationship with their mother + the instances of Islamophobia/ acism & Zionism she faces) had very little space in the book.
Also I do think her outing that woman was unforgivable and I Hate Hate Hated that that (trigger warning) literal rapist white guy at The Lodge is, if anything, forgiven/absolved by the narrative.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder, War, Lesbophobia, Physical abuse, Adult/minor relationship, Islamophobia, Colonisation, Confinement, Infidelity, Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Racism, and Alcoholism
Moderate: Rape, Emotional abuse, Outing, Pedophilia, Addiction, Self harm, Sexual violence, Colonisation, Drug abuse, and Sexual assault
Minor: Fatphobia, Suicidal thoughts, Body shaming, Biphobia, Panic attacks/disorders, Torture, and Rape
lizzierose147's review
challenging
emotional
hopeful
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
This book grew on me the more I read. My first impression was that the prose was too simple and that it would not be a captivating read. However, as I read on, I quickly changed my mind. I think the sheer breadth and gravity of topics covered by Arafat through her protagonist almost necessitates a fast paced and simple prose to keep the reader in the flow and to reflect the simultaneous self awareness and impulsiveness of the main character. The effect is that despite covering therapy, oedipal love triangles, eating disorders, queer shame, cheating, Israeli occupation in Palestine, suicide, immigration, family trauma and disappointment and multiple heartbreaks, the book does not feel heavy or depressing. Instead, owing to the simple prose and rapid fire decision making of the protagonist we move through these topics speedily, almost too fast in fact, but I think that this is the point, reflecting the inner world of our protagonist who is loathe to settle, to stagnate and in fact seeks unattainable things, people, a self diagnosed love-addict. The narrative follows her rapid and often (consciously) Il-advised decisions, with both a hopeful and resigned attitude - especially pertinent as it is written in first person. Ultimately, I really liked this book, and especially the mother daughter relationship which ran as its core theme. There is something universal in daughters loving and desiring love from a mother figure, and, when finding the latter to be unattainable, seeking it or a similar absence of it elsewhere. The protagonist's simultaneous isolation and frustration at her mother, underlit with a constant desire for validation and approval, despite not extending the same to her mother until the final passages is poignant and relatable. The tides of their relationship and the deep love they ultimately share was conveyed really well throughout, especially through the lack of explanation between the fights and reparations between them. With every other character the protagonist fights with we need a reason for them to offer forgiveness, with her mother their apologies go unsaid, are inevitable and assumed eventually.
The book is also refreshingly sex positive, even in the several relationships that arent explicitly sexual that the main character describes. Her mothers balance of biphobia and homophobia is also fascinating, the terms and conditions along which she is clearly desperate to be disappointed and yet still make room in spite of her prejudices for love and acceptance of her daughter are a great example of queer family dynamics for the 21dt c.
The book is also refreshingly sex positive, even in the several relationships that arent explicitly sexual that the main character describes. Her mothers balance of biphobia and homophobia is also fascinating, the terms and conditions along which she is clearly desperate to be disappointed and yet still make room in spite of her prejudices for love and acceptance of her daughter are a great example of queer family dynamics for the 21dt c.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Body shaming, Bullying, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Sexual content, Suicide, Addiction, Alcohol, Biphobia, Eating disorder, Fatphobia, Gaslighting, Infidelity, and Mental illness
erinalt90's review
challenging
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? No
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
2.75
I really had high hopes for this book. It had a great start and moved fast. around 40% it started to get slow and by 60% not only was it boring but it was a completely different book. I think Arafat is a great writer but she seems more like a short story/anthology writer.
The ending is disappointing and the book overall is just - sporadic? I don't know. It doesn't work in my opinion.
I never read reviews for books before/during. But all the reviews who also gave it around 2-3.5 stars I agree with completely.
There were also tiny conflicting details/inconsistencies in the set up/characters. At one point someone is referred to as a "classmate" and three sentences later - while talking about the same character- they are referred to as "coworker." They are small little details but there are enough of them that they start to add up.
TW: potential child abuse
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There was also an entire section with another character and pregnancy/child fetish played a role and it was just- weird.
The ending is disappointing and the book overall is just - sporadic? I don't know. It doesn't work in my opinion.
I never read reviews for books before/during. But all the reviews who also gave it around 2-3.5 stars I agree with completely.
There were also tiny conflicting details/inconsistencies in the set up/characters. At one point someone is referred to as a "classmate" and three sentences later - while talking about the same character- they are referred to as "coworker." They are small little details but there are enough of them that they start to add up.
TW: potential child abuse
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There was also an entire section with another character and pregnancy/child fetish played a role and it was just- weird.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Abandonment, Addiction, Adult/minor relationship, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Biphobia, Body shaming, Bullying, Child abuse, Classism, Colonisation, Cultural appropriation, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Fatphobia, and Gaslighting
marabdelmageed's review
challenging
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
I quite liked this book. The only drawbacks, in my opinion, are the depictions of personality disorders and the use of ableist language.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Infidelity, Lesbophobia, Mental illness, Toxic relationship, and War
Moderate: Abandonment, Ableism, Addiction, Alcoholism, and Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Colonisation, Cursing, Drug abuse, Fatphobia, Gaslighting, Genocide, Grief, Islamophobia, and Rape
solenodon's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Sexual content, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Addiction, Biphobia, Eating disorder, Grief, Homophobia, Racism, Xenophobia, Fatphobia, Adult/minor relationship, Body shaming, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Pregnancy, Self harm, and Suicidal thoughts
Minor: Domestic abuse, Islamophobia, and Cursing
now_booking's review
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
It’s not hard to synthesize my feelings about this book into a review, it’s just hard to determine whether my feelings fall into feeling more positively or negatively about it. This wasn’t exactly what I expected. The premise is that the unnamed queer protagonist is a somewhat closeted Palestinian-American student who’s managed to live a lot of life and study and travel the world. Yet despite all she has going for her, she is desperate to find the love she and acceptance she craves from her mother, leading her to a lot of toxic habits and addictions, including a love addiction.
I haven’t read a lot of queer literature, but certainly none featuring an Arab, Muslim bisexual woman as the protagonist. Knowing that the author has experience with these intersections, I knew it would be non-cliché and sensitively and authentically handled. But then this wasn’t the predictable book one would expect about conflicts between sexuality and culture and religion. Indeed, this reads as a very secular book, there is a lot of Arab (and more specifically) Palestinian culture and history in this book, yes, but none of that is the main conflict with the unnamed protagonist’s reconciliation of her sexual identity. Nope. This is a book about love and the sometimes toxic and fraught relationship between mothers and daughters, and the generational impacts it can have. It’s a book about mental illness and addiction, about numbing brokenness, about reconciling with the things in you. It’s a book about sex and it’s a book with a lot of sex in it, but it’s not a sexy book. Sex in this book often feels like another manifestation of brokenness of looking for love in toxic places. The protagonist doesn’t “exist too much” so much as she’s conditioned by her upbringing to seek out the most toxic outcomes for herself. She is both a sympathetic and an unsympathetic protagonist. Her mother is toxic, but so is she. I had never heard of a love addiction before reading this book. I think it should be approached with the same sort of care for a potential trigger that one would approach any book about addiction. It’s pretty difficult to read some of the situations she gets into and it’s an exposition of how much addiction is an illness that ruins lives.
I think this was well-written. It’s not doing anything with highfalutin turns of phrase or anything extraordinarily fancy with language. There are some beautifully-expressed ideas, but that’s not the focus. Where the language of this book excels is in its simplicity and accessibility. It makes it a fast-paced read that anyone can read and understand without ambiguity. The emotions feel more raw, more visceral, less neat and tidy and perfectly processed because the language is so simple. There is no distance between the reader and the absolute messiness of the protagonist’s life. All of that said, I sort of struggled with the style of this novel. It was very... non-linear. It felt like a series of anecdotes of different timelines kind of loosely woven around the protagonist’s trajectory to healing and reconciling herself with her truth and her identity. I was interested in things like her relationship with her brother. The outcome of her relationships with her cousins. Who was she apart from a bisexual, Palestinian-American? How did she have all that money for travel, school etc? It was a little hard to feel immersed in this because it was only about such a specific segment of her life. There is good character development, but only in the area of her life that has to do with her addiction and with her mother. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe the point is that her life is consumed by this conflict. Maybe the point of flashing in and out of her life in the revelation of the story was to flash in and out off her protagonist’s life the way she did in her own real life. Overall, I think I liked this. Perhaps I’m not passionate about it. But I loved getting into this heroine’s head and learning about her. I’ve seen reviews mention fears that this novel is bad bisexual rep contributing to biphobia. I can’t speak about the truth of that perception, but as a non-bi person, I felt very able to separate the protagonist’s sexuality from her toxic behaviour in relationships. I recommend this if you’re looking for a book about reconciling oneself with one’s sexuality and the internal conflict around that, or a novel about addiction, or one about complex mother-daughter relationship.
TW: this book may be immensely triggering to some readers. I have put the CWs on Storygraph but I’ll summarize to say, if you may be at all sensitive to any sort of triggering content, consider avoiding this one, or fortifying your mental health first.
I haven’t read a lot of queer literature, but certainly none featuring an Arab, Muslim bisexual woman as the protagonist. Knowing that the author has experience with these intersections, I knew it would be non-cliché and sensitively and authentically handled. But then this wasn’t the predictable book one would expect about conflicts between sexuality and culture and religion. Indeed, this reads as a very secular book, there is a lot of Arab (and more specifically) Palestinian culture and history in this book, yes, but none of that is the main conflict with the unnamed protagonist’s reconciliation of her sexual identity. Nope. This is a book about love and the sometimes toxic and fraught relationship between mothers and daughters, and the generational impacts it can have. It’s a book about mental illness and addiction, about numbing brokenness, about reconciling with the things in you. It’s a book about sex and it’s a book with a lot of sex in it, but it’s not a sexy book. Sex in this book often feels like another manifestation of brokenness of looking for love in toxic places. The protagonist doesn’t “exist too much” so much as she’s conditioned by her upbringing to seek out the most toxic outcomes for herself. She is both a sympathetic and an unsympathetic protagonist. Her mother is toxic, but so is she. I had never heard of a love addiction before reading this book. I think it should be approached with the same sort of care for a potential trigger that one would approach any book about addiction. It’s pretty difficult to read some of the situations she gets into and it’s an exposition of how much addiction is an illness that ruins lives.
I think this was well-written. It’s not doing anything with highfalutin turns of phrase or anything extraordinarily fancy with language. There are some beautifully-expressed ideas, but that’s not the focus. Where the language of this book excels is in its simplicity and accessibility. It makes it a fast-paced read that anyone can read and understand without ambiguity. The emotions feel more raw, more visceral, less neat and tidy and perfectly processed because the language is so simple. There is no distance between the reader and the absolute messiness of the protagonist’s life. All of that said, I sort of struggled with the style of this novel. It was very... non-linear. It felt like a series of anecdotes of different timelines kind of loosely woven around the protagonist’s trajectory to healing and reconciling herself with her truth and her identity. I was interested in things like her relationship with her brother. The outcome of her relationships with her cousins. Who was she apart from a bisexual, Palestinian-American? How did she have all that money for travel, school etc? It was a little hard to feel immersed in this because it was only about such a specific segment of her life. There is good character development, but only in the area of her life that has to do with her addiction and with her mother. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe the point is that her life is consumed by this conflict. Maybe the point of flashing in and out of her life in the revelation of the story was to flash in and out off her protagonist’s life the way she did in her own real life. Overall, I think I liked this. Perhaps I’m not passionate about it. But I loved getting into this heroine’s head and learning about her. I’ve seen reviews mention fears that this novel is bad bisexual rep contributing to biphobia. I can’t speak about the truth of that perception, but as a non-bi person, I felt very able to separate the protagonist’s sexuality from her toxic behaviour in relationships. I recommend this if you’re looking for a book about reconciling oneself with one’s sexuality and the internal conflict around that, or a novel about addiction, or one about complex mother-daughter relationship.
TW: this book may be immensely triggering to some readers. I have put the CWs on Storygraph but I’ll summarize to say, if you may be at all sensitive to any sort of triggering content, consider avoiding this one, or fortifying your mental health first.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Addiction, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Drug abuse, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Infidelity, Mental illness, Misogyny, Self harm, Suicide attempt, and Toxic relationship
Moderate: Biphobia, Homophobia, Fatphobia, Islamophobia, Xenophobia, and Adult/minor relationship
Minor: Bullying
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