Reviews with content warning for Suicide - You Exist Too Much

The writing is superb, and I loved the flow of the narrative in the beginning. The pacing seemed to unravel in the last third of the book, and the relationships of the main character felt rushed, complicated and exhausting. I would’ve enjoyed the book better if it ended after she left treatment, instead of continuing another 50 pages.

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skudiklier's review against another edition

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challenging emotional reflective tense medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.75

I was really engaged with this--after I got through the beginning bits and got properly into the story, I read almost the whole thing in a day. I found the protagonist relatable in a messy she-needs-help kind of way, and some of her struggles with things like abandonment and generational trauma were hard to read, but in a good way. I like the way the timeline jumps around and you don't find out things in chronological order, and I also like how the book addresses why the narrator's mom is the way she is, without excusing the way she treats the narrator. I'd recommend this book but I'd also definitely say to look at the content warnings first, since this book can get pretty heavy at times.

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lexkoi's review

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emotional reflective medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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lizzierose147's review

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challenging emotional hopeful fast-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? Yes
Loveable characters? Yes
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.5

This book grew on me the more I read. My first impression was that the prose was too simple and that it would not be a captivating read. However, as I read on, I quickly changed my mind. I think the sheer breadth and gravity of topics covered by Arafat through her protagonist almost necessitates a fast paced and simple prose to keep the reader in the flow and to reflect the simultaneous self awareness and impulsiveness of the main character. The effect is that despite covering therapy, oedipal love triangles, eating disorders, queer shame, cheating, Israeli occupation in Palestine, suicide, immigration, family trauma and disappointment and multiple heartbreaks, the book does not feel heavy or depressing. Instead, owing to the simple prose and rapid fire decision making of the protagonist we move through these topics speedily, almost too fast in fact, but I think that this is the point, reflecting the inner world of our protagonist who is loathe to settle, to stagnate and in fact seeks unattainable things, people, a self diagnosed love-addict. The narrative follows her rapid and often (consciously) Il-advised decisions, with both a hopeful and resigned attitude - especially pertinent as it is written in first person. Ultimately, I really liked this book, and especially the mother daughter relationship which ran as its core theme. There is something universal in daughters loving and desiring love from a mother figure, and, when finding the latter to be unattainable, seeking it or a similar absence of it elsewhere. The protagonist's simultaneous isolation and frustration at her mother, underlit with a constant desire for validation and approval, despite not extending the same to her mother until the final passages is poignant and relatable. The tides of their relationship and the deep love they ultimately share was conveyed really well throughout, especially through the lack of explanation between the fights and reparations between them. With every other character the protagonist fights with we need a reason for them to offer forgiveness, with her mother their apologies go unsaid, are inevitable and assumed eventually.
The book is also refreshingly sex positive, even in the several relationships that arent explicitly sexual that the main character describes. Her mothers balance of biphobia and homophobia is also fascinating, the terms and conditions along which she is clearly desperate to be disappointed and yet still make room in spite of her prejudices for love and acceptance of her daughter are a great example of queer family dynamics for the 21dt c.

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kierscrivener's review

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challenging emotional medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? It's complicated
Loveable characters? It's complicated
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

I am not completely sure how I feel about it. I expected something vastly different. The title and the synopsis really focuses on her relationship with her mother, heritage and sexuality. And it was. It did advertise vignettes, but I guess it was told a little too progressively to be snippets and too scattered to feel progression.

We follow a twenties something bi Palestinian woman as she navigates a breakup and her constant need to go for the unattainable and to cheat out of fear. We see beautiful and poignant moments throughout but there's something missing. And it might be what I came in looking and didn't see. But we see her acting out and reacting because of fears and insecurity, and her realization of her own mother's trauma but I never feel like she ever fully lowers her guards, and the end has some poignancy but not enough to feel resolved or as if this is a stepping off point.

I love quiet stories but I like when we explore things and she never quite had enough introspection or conversation to fully invest me.

I enjoyed my way throughout and would definitely give Arafat another book

Content Warnings

holreads's review against another edition

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dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

Plot- or character-driven? Character
Strong character development? No
Loveable characters? No
Diverse cast of characters? Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

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