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_askthebookbug's review
5.0
What We Talk When We Talk About Rape - #bookrecommendation
~
Where do I begin? Regardless of how others found this book, it had a significant impact on my mind. We see about a thousand rape cases being displayed on the news channels every day but hardly give it a second thought. Because it's all so common. Rape is just another crime that happens without us having to pay it much attention. I haven't met any rape survivors and for that reason this book proved to be extraordinary. Sohaila is a rape survivor herself and who better to address this issue than the woman with the firmest voice.
~
It's difficult to sum up such an important book partly because of its depth and also because rape has always been considered as a sensitive matter. So sensitive that victims are often asked to keep their stories a secret. Because women who are raped are forced to feel ashamed. I absolutely loved Sohaila's writing. It's unflinching and to the point. She doesn't like to beat around the bush. Yes, she was gangraped by a bunch of men when she went out with her friend. But she considers herself and many others as survivors and not the victims. In this book, she narrates and quotes the stories of few women whom she had the chance to interview. Be it Audrey who was drugged and raped by a group of men, or Manassah Bradley who was abused as a child or Cheryl who was raped by her highschool classmate: each of them recount their experience of being raped and how they were blamed for the act. Even though this book is about the experience and how to tackle it, it also stresses on closure.
~
There are plenty of examples used to help people understand how simple it is to differentiate sex and rape. One woman says 'Rape is not sex. If you hit someone on the head with a rolling pin, it's not cooking' and also the classic narration of a woman who walks into a bathroom fittings store and relieves herself because the store gave out mixed signals about having displayed the commodes. Have you heard of the TED talk given by Thordis and Tom? Tom raped Thordis and when confronted by her later, he admits his mistake. It's stunning how few perpetrators admit their crime and work on it.
~
In another chapter, the author talks about how sex workers cannot be raped. The narrative says 'good girls don't get raped; bad girls can't get raped'. So many words are taken from the mouths of other rape survivors and are presented to us, it's both appalling and fascinating to see how they decided to deal with it. It's impossible for me to jot down every single thing that intruiged and shocked me and so I'll stop here.
I urge you to read this. It's important and necessary for people to know what's right from wrong. Rating - 5/5.
~
Where do I begin? Regardless of how others found this book, it had a significant impact on my mind. We see about a thousand rape cases being displayed on the news channels every day but hardly give it a second thought. Because it's all so common. Rape is just another crime that happens without us having to pay it much attention. I haven't met any rape survivors and for that reason this book proved to be extraordinary. Sohaila is a rape survivor herself and who better to address this issue than the woman with the firmest voice.
~
It's difficult to sum up such an important book partly because of its depth and also because rape has always been considered as a sensitive matter. So sensitive that victims are often asked to keep their stories a secret. Because women who are raped are forced to feel ashamed. I absolutely loved Sohaila's writing. It's unflinching and to the point. She doesn't like to beat around the bush. Yes, she was gangraped by a bunch of men when she went out with her friend. But she considers herself and many others as survivors and not the victims. In this book, she narrates and quotes the stories of few women whom she had the chance to interview. Be it Audrey who was drugged and raped by a group of men, or Manassah Bradley who was abused as a child or Cheryl who was raped by her highschool classmate: each of them recount their experience of being raped and how they were blamed for the act. Even though this book is about the experience and how to tackle it, it also stresses on closure.
~
There are plenty of examples used to help people understand how simple it is to differentiate sex and rape. One woman says 'Rape is not sex. If you hit someone on the head with a rolling pin, it's not cooking' and also the classic narration of a woman who walks into a bathroom fittings store and relieves herself because the store gave out mixed signals about having displayed the commodes. Have you heard of the TED talk given by Thordis and Tom? Tom raped Thordis and when confronted by her later, he admits his mistake. It's stunning how few perpetrators admit their crime and work on it.
~
In another chapter, the author talks about how sex workers cannot be raped. The narrative says 'good girls don't get raped; bad girls can't get raped'. So many words are taken from the mouths of other rape survivors and are presented to us, it's both appalling and fascinating to see how they decided to deal with it. It's impossible for me to jot down every single thing that intruiged and shocked me and so I'll stop here.
I urge you to read this. It's important and necessary for people to know what's right from wrong. Rating - 5/5.
readbysloan's review
5.0
Honestly essential reading for every person on this planet.
While it covers a heavy topic, it's written in an easily digestible way. Like talking to your best friend.
While it covers a heavy topic, it's written in an easily digestible way. Like talking to your best friend.
s4peace's review
4.0
I might be biased as I rate the book because I am rating the conversation more than the book itself.
I don't read a lot of non fiction but this topic is quite emotionally stirring for me. I think the book does a great job at tackling a very difficult topic. I'd recommend every man, woman and non binary gendered person should read it because it talks about the different aspects of rape coming at it from all possible perspectives. It's a simple account or collection of accounts that helps a person navigate through the complex reaction you feel towards rape. I think the book actually helped me articulate a lot of things and emotions that I have gone through whenever I have thought about sexual abuse. It doesn't aim to preach or shame, it's just an honest and simple conversation.
I don't read a lot of non fiction but this topic is quite emotionally stirring for me. I think the book does a great job at tackling a very difficult topic. I'd recommend every man, woman and non binary gendered person should read it because it talks about the different aspects of rape coming at it from all possible perspectives. It's a simple account or collection of accounts that helps a person navigate through the complex reaction you feel towards rape. I think the book actually helped me articulate a lot of things and emotions that I have gone through whenever I have thought about sexual abuse. It doesn't aim to preach or shame, it's just an honest and simple conversation.
kitters's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
slow-paced
5.0
jrc2011's review against another edition
5.0
Powerfully written testimonial of the attitudes and experiences of women (mostly) of rape across cultures and time. The author provides her own experience with rape -- and with writing about rape -- as a backdrop for first-person accounts of the impacts of rape, getting on with life after and the changes in attitude around the world toward rape (though mostly in India, Europe and the US). This book is incredibly well written and personal - highly recommended for everyone.
missmorganno's review
5.0
Abdulali does a fantastic job at showing compassion to survivors of sexual assault while also teaching the reader how to handle the inevitable part of life that you or someone you love may be sexually assaulted. Abdulali gives tips on how to talk to someone who has been assaulted. The most important part of the book, however, is Abdulali does her best to remove the shame survivors often feel surrounding an assault.
zoethydear1850's review against another edition
4.0
4.5 stars! An incredibly important read.
“Dancing cranes, mango season, love, music, moonrise, decay, violence - all of it, the full catastrophe. Rape is part of it. But I cannot, will not, accept that it is inevitable.”
“Dancing cranes, mango season, love, music, moonrise, decay, violence - all of it, the full catastrophe. Rape is part of it. But I cannot, will not, accept that it is inevitable.”
subdue_provide75's review
0.75
This is an important subject, of course, but I didn't feel this book had enough coherence or a unifying message.