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zhenyaxoxo's review against another edition
5.0
Come and be worshipped, come and be caressed.
My Dark Vanessa, crimson-barred, my blest
My Admirable butterfly! Explain
How could you, in the gloam of Lilac Lane,
Have let uncouth, hysterical John Shade
Blubber your face, and ear, and shoulder blade?
- From the poem Pale Fire by Nabakov
Once I started this book I couldn't stop. This broke my heart into pieces over and over again. I felt as if I was Vanessa while reading this. Despite the heavy, heavy contents of this book, I can't describe it as being anything but phenomenal. I devoured this within two days and while that probably wasn't the best idea considering my own well-being, it was still worth it.
This book truly exists in the grey. It is very raw and sometimes hard to get through but nonetheless I recommend everyone read it.
My Dark Vanessa, crimson-barred, my blest
My Admirable butterfly! Explain
How could you, in the gloam of Lilac Lane,
Have let uncouth, hysterical John Shade
Blubber your face, and ear, and shoulder blade?
- From the poem Pale Fire by Nabakov
Once I started this book I couldn't stop. This broke my heart into pieces over and over again. I felt as if I was Vanessa while reading this. Despite the heavy, heavy contents of this book, I can't describe it as being anything but phenomenal. I devoured this within two days and while that probably wasn't the best idea considering my own well-being, it was still worth it.
This book truly exists in the grey. It is very raw and sometimes hard to get through but nonetheless I recommend everyone read it.
kmerz's review against another edition
challenging
dark
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.0
teavani's review against another edition
5.0
this book was so good i inhaled it so quickly. i think if you're like me and don't want to actually read lolita bc of personal ick but are interested in the power and relationship dynamic, this is perfect. since it's told from two timelines (2000, with 15 yr old Vanessa and 2017, with 32 yr old Vanessa) it really shows the lasting toll.
random thoughts
- i wish he had been punished at the end. or at least face the judgment of others. i wanted him to be taken to court and suffer the consequences. but alas.
- some of the sexual kinks are soooo indicative. daddy/little girl/ pretending to wake her up in her bedroom. ICKY GROSS STOP
- grooming and SA are rarely ever so black and white, and i liked that this book showed so much of the gray area. the way he'd convince her she was giving full consent, to the point she thought she was a fully willing participant in their relationship.
- i kind of want a copy of this because there were a lot of lines i liked. the writing was really good, simple enough but very impactful. kind of haunting.
- influence of lolita! that he gave it to vanessa, and it became her favorite book. it's almost in conversation with lolita for the entirety of the book, which was really interesting.
- i liked the northeast setting in general. i always eat up the boarding school/academia stuff
- his influence like a dark shadow following her everywhere. her brilliant mind and potential all seemingly disintegrating as he solidifies his presence in her life. it's wild. how one person can derail all your plans
random thoughts
- i wish he had been punished at the end. or at least face the judgment of others. i wanted him to be taken to court and suffer the consequences. but alas.
- some of the sexual kinks are soooo indicative. daddy/little girl/ pretending to wake her up in her bedroom. ICKY GROSS STOP
- grooming and SA are rarely ever so black and white, and i liked that this book showed so much of the gray area. the way he'd convince her she was giving full consent, to the point she thought she was a fully willing participant in their relationship.
- i kind of want a copy of this because there were a lot of lines i liked. the writing was really good, simple enough but very impactful. kind of haunting.
- influence of lolita! that he gave it to vanessa, and it became her favorite book. it's almost in conversation with lolita for the entirety of the book, which was really interesting.
- i liked the northeast setting in general. i always eat up the boarding school/academia stuff
- his influence like a dark shadow following her everywhere. her brilliant mind and potential all seemingly disintegrating as he solidifies his presence in her life. it's wild. how one person can derail all your plans
erikaspinosa's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
marimarimarit's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
reflective
sad
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
vmusing's review against another edition
5.0
This was so incredibly disturbing.
Updated review 10/05/2020
I did not elaborate enough on my feelings for this book initially. I think I was genuinely in such shock that I couldn’t form coherent thought. This book was deeply disturbing and unsettling. We follow a dual timeline between a 15 year old girl and then that same girl as a woman in her twenties. We see flashes back to her at 15 having a relationship with her English teacher. The entire book she is grappling with what she thought the relationship was (love) to what it actually was (abuse).
I have never been more disgusted in my life reading than with this book, due to the subject matter. However Katie Elizabeth Russell does an excellent job with this narrative and I find it was an important piece to read. I will probably never forget this book or reading experience.
CW: rape, talk of assault, abuse of power, pedophilia, grooming
Updated review 10/05/2020
I did not elaborate enough on my feelings for this book initially. I think I was genuinely in such shock that I couldn’t form coherent thought. This book was deeply disturbing and unsettling. We follow a dual timeline between a 15 year old girl and then that same girl as a woman in her twenties. We see flashes back to her at 15 having a relationship with her English teacher. The entire book she is grappling with what she thought the relationship was (love) to what it actually was (abuse).
I have never been more disgusted in my life reading than with this book, due to the subject matter. However Katie Elizabeth Russell does an excellent job with this narrative and I find it was an important piece to read. I will probably never forget this book or reading experience.
CW: rape, talk of assault, abuse of power, pedophilia, grooming
mackenzie_parker's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
4ne54's review against another edition
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5