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Don't Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids by Leanne Shirtliffe
alwayaredhead's review against another edition
5.0
I finished the book this morning, and I couldn't stop laughing at some points, best exercise read in a long time. Leanne Shirtliffe completely captures what it is like to be a parent of twins in Don't Lick the Minivan.
As she struggled with delayed postpartum depression, she was able to come through it all with laughter. Laughter being the key to raising children/twins. Don't Lick the Minivan is a must read for those considering becoming parents for the first time and for those who are already parents. Her depiction of life with twins is brutally honest, so much so that you will have no need for those how to parenting books.
As she struggled with delayed postpartum depression, she was able to come through it all with laughter. Laughter being the key to raising children/twins. Don't Lick the Minivan is a must read for those considering becoming parents for the first time and for those who are already parents. Her depiction of life with twins is brutally honest, so much so that you will have no need for those how to parenting books.
mercenator's review against another edition
1.0
This book is terrible. It takes that tactic that so much parenting content does nowadays where the parent in question couches all of their tips in getting more alcohol. There is a parenting tip in this book that says “never forget to get all your newborn essentials at once: diapers, rash cream, vodka, wine, and xanax.” The author also specifically says it’s her job to “keep her daughter from the pole.”
Terrible terrible terrible. Do not bother picking up this book. Even under the guise of “humor” the book is not funny—it is offensive, and it horrifies me that people are reading this and thinking that it is anything other than that.
Terrible terrible terrible. Do not bother picking up this book. Even under the guise of “humor” the book is not funny—it is offensive, and it horrifies me that people are reading this and thinking that it is anything other than that.
booknerd7820's review against another edition
2.0
Some amusing anecdotes, but overall I did not find it very funny. I assume many of the stories were more of a “I guess you had to be there” variety.
canadian_booknerd's review against another edition
4.0
I don't read a lot of non-fiction but when one of my favorite bloggers released a book I had to check it out. I wasn't disappointed. This book had me laughing out loud on a consistent basis.
It covers Leanne's pregnancy and parenthood from Thailand to Canada. She has twins, one boy and one girl, and she has captured both the trials and tribulations of being a parent from a very humorous perspective.
To give you an idea of what you are in for, here is a small excerpt from when she and a friend tried to sneak wine into a theatre:
"My friend and I settled into our seats and broke out our contraband picnic one the previews started. Little napkins, Babybel cheeses, dark chocolate, and wine, wine that was nowhere to be found.
"Crap," I said. "I forgot it on the counter." Then I remembered. "Oh my god, it's in sippy cups." A head movie of my six year olds becoming drunk played in my cortex.
I rushed out of my seat, making everyone in our row stand, tripped on a step, and was dialing home on my cell phone before I hit the lobby.
"Have the kids had anything to drink?" I asked Chris.
"Yeah, they've had a drink," he answered. I could hear his voice tense.
"What did they drink?" I asked.
"Are you OK?"
"Did they drink from their sippy cups?"
"I don't know."
"Do they seem drunk?"
"Drunk?"
"I put wine in their sippy cups to bring to the movie."
"You what?"
"I filled them with wine. To smuggle it. But I forgot it on the counter."
"You put wine in their sippy cups?"
"Yes. The stainless steel ones."
I could hear him descending the stairs, cell phone in hand.
"It's still here," he said.
"Can you put it in the fridge?"
"Really?"
"Just put it in a bag first...and hide it. I'll have it later.""
It covers Leanne's pregnancy and parenthood from Thailand to Canada. She has twins, one boy and one girl, and she has captured both the trials and tribulations of being a parent from a very humorous perspective.
To give you an idea of what you are in for, here is a small excerpt from when she and a friend tried to sneak wine into a theatre:
"My friend and I settled into our seats and broke out our contraband picnic one the previews started. Little napkins, Babybel cheeses, dark chocolate, and wine, wine that was nowhere to be found.
"Crap," I said. "I forgot it on the counter." Then I remembered. "Oh my god, it's in sippy cups." A head movie of my six year olds becoming drunk played in my cortex.
I rushed out of my seat, making everyone in our row stand, tripped on a step, and was dialing home on my cell phone before I hit the lobby.
"Have the kids had anything to drink?" I asked Chris.
"Yeah, they've had a drink," he answered. I could hear his voice tense.
"What did they drink?" I asked.
"Are you OK?"
"Did they drink from their sippy cups?"
"I don't know."
"Do they seem drunk?"
"Drunk?"
"I put wine in their sippy cups to bring to the movie."
"You what?"
"I filled them with wine. To smuggle it. But I forgot it on the counter."
"You put wine in their sippy cups?"
"Yes. The stainless steel ones."
I could hear him descending the stairs, cell phone in hand.
"It's still here," he said.
"Can you put it in the fridge?"
"Really?"
"Just put it in a bag first...and hide it. I'll have it later.""
staceyinthesticks's review against another edition
funny
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
3.5
Content Warnings
Moderate: Pregnancy
Minor: Alcohol and Cursing
manda_reads's review against another edition
funny
fast-paced
2.5
This book was okay. It was somewhat funny however I am fully aware that I am not the intended audience for this book. I only read it because I was in the mood for something funny. When searching the humor genre this is what came up.
casehouse's review against another edition
3.0
Thanks to the library's "featured books" area, I grabbed this one on a whim. Shirtliffe is apparently another Mommy Blogger turned writer. It's kinda funny, though I don't think I'd agree that Shirtliffe is "the new Erma Bombeck." The humor probably would have landed better with me when my kids were younger.
khourianya's review against another edition
5.0
Ok - first things first...Leanne Shirtliffe has saved me the trouble of writing my own book on the experience of raising twins...because she raised the exact same ones. Either that or I think our parenting strategies are so remarkably similar that we might be living parallel lives.
For example:
No blood, no band aid (yep - this is our rule too)
Snowsuits and tutus as Halloween costumes (enter our "Canadian Fairie" costumes of last year)
Don't drink the bathwater - that's bum water (Well, I say poo water...but close enough)
In the book, Shirtliffe recounts the tale of her twins journey to school-age. Her descriptions of delivering twins in a Thai hospital and taking their first trans-pacific journey to visit family back home and describing the unique ways her twins contributed to their upbringing had me in tears from laughing so hard. Especially poignant are the gems that spewed from her mouth (like the title of the book)...so often we focus on the "Kids say the darndest things" angle that we forget that new parents have a few of their own to share.
Scattered through the book, are Shirtliffe's "Parenting Tips" - ranging from:
"Strive to remember the name of your baby. Write it on your hand if you have to. Remembering your spouse's name is optional."
to
"Putting yourself on time-out is brilliant. Shackling yourself to the liquor cabinet is extra brilliant"
Her insights are brilliant and I thoroughly enjoyed reading every word - even the "Sappy Files" which were letters penned to her children at various stages in their lives for use as therapy fodder. she was also able to put to words so many of the things I noticed but would find myself tongue-tied to explain, like:
"A ten-month-old baby is mobile; ten-month-old twins are a roaming gang. One moment they're there, the next they're gone. It's a magic show brought to you by Pampers."
"There were enough Cheerios under the table to drive up the price of oats"
This book kept me laughing and nodding familiarly with almost everything she wrote. It was captured so exactly - every hilarious detail. I began to think less of my kids as being oddities of nurture and instead I started to see them as being just plain ol' common twins. I often found myself flipping back a few pages so I could read it aloud to Hubby...or bursting out laughing so hard it shook the bed, which ended up earning me the privilege of not being allowed to read the book in bed anymore.
Don't Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids is probably one of the best parenting guides out there. It proves you don't need a doctor-proven method to raise your kids...you just need to do it.
I think it almost goes without saying that I highly recommend this book. So go buy it. Support a local author and give yourself a hilarious treat that will help you see that you aren't failing at being a parent...you just aren't looking at it the right way!
(originally posted on my blog http://www.readwriterunmom.com)
For example:
No blood, no band aid (yep - this is our rule too)
Snowsuits and tutus as Halloween costumes (enter our "Canadian Fairie" costumes of last year)
Don't drink the bathwater - that's bum water (Well, I say poo water...but close enough)
In the book, Shirtliffe recounts the tale of her twins journey to school-age. Her descriptions of delivering twins in a Thai hospital and taking their first trans-pacific journey to visit family back home and describing the unique ways her twins contributed to their upbringing had me in tears from laughing so hard. Especially poignant are the gems that spewed from her mouth (like the title of the book)...so often we focus on the "Kids say the darndest things" angle that we forget that new parents have a few of their own to share.
Scattered through the book, are Shirtliffe's "Parenting Tips" - ranging from:
"Strive to remember the name of your baby. Write it on your hand if you have to. Remembering your spouse's name is optional."
to
"Putting yourself on time-out is brilliant. Shackling yourself to the liquor cabinet is extra brilliant"
Her insights are brilliant and I thoroughly enjoyed reading every word - even the "Sappy Files" which were letters penned to her children at various stages in their lives for use as therapy fodder. she was also able to put to words so many of the things I noticed but would find myself tongue-tied to explain, like:
"A ten-month-old baby is mobile; ten-month-old twins are a roaming gang. One moment they're there, the next they're gone. It's a magic show brought to you by Pampers."
"There were enough Cheerios under the table to drive up the price of oats"
This book kept me laughing and nodding familiarly with almost everything she wrote. It was captured so exactly - every hilarious detail. I began to think less of my kids as being oddities of nurture and instead I started to see them as being just plain ol' common twins. I often found myself flipping back a few pages so I could read it aloud to Hubby...or bursting out laughing so hard it shook the bed, which ended up earning me the privilege of not being allowed to read the book in bed anymore.
Don't Lick the Minivan: And Other Things I Never Thought I'd Say to My Kids is probably one of the best parenting guides out there. It proves you don't need a doctor-proven method to raise your kids...you just need to do it.
I think it almost goes without saying that I highly recommend this book. So go buy it. Support a local author and give yourself a hilarious treat that will help you see that you aren't failing at being a parent...you just aren't looking at it the right way!
(originally posted on my blog http://www.readwriterunmom.com)
bethreadsandnaps's review against another edition
3.0
Parents will understand this manifesto, of sorts, from a mom of twins. I think I would associate more with it if I had twins or at least two kids, preferably close in age.
The book reads like blog posts, which is fine, but it's apparent that it's a string of blog posts put together to make a book.
The book reads like blog posts, which is fine, but it's apparent that it's a string of blog posts put together to make a book.