Reviews tagging 'Sexism'

The School for Good Mothers by Jessamine Chan

76 reviews

taysbooktalk's review against another edition

challenging dark emotional sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

1.0

There are not words for this book, and not in a good way. I like to think if a book had me sobbing, nearly to a panic attack, and I will never forget- that it was an amazing book. It’s not. It’s intentionally meant to rip you apart and trigger you. It’s sold as a dystopian. It’s not. It’s weird and uncomfortable and gut wrenching. This not a Nicholas Sparks or Kristen Hannah book. This is not sad book that tells a story. This is not made to entertain you. It’s not made to make a difference or touch lives. This is made to hurt people. I don’t know that I will ever recover from this book. PLEASE DON’T READ THIS.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Abandonment, Domestic abuse, Drug use, Emotional abuse, Addiction, Bullying, Child death, Confinement, Hate crime, Mental illness, Forced institutionalization, Pregnancy, Racial slurs, Self harm, Sexism, Suicide attempt, Alcohol, Body shaming, Car accident, Eating disorder, Medical content, Medical trauma, Racism, Rape, Suicide, Torture, Cursing, Death, Death of parent, Panic attacks/disorders, Sexual content, Suicidal thoughts, Cultural appropriation, Toxic relationship, Fatphobia, Grief, Physical abuse, Drug abuse, Homophobia, Violence, Kidnapping, Miscarriage, and Vomit

elwhits's review

challenging dark sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

i sobbed. incredibly challenging book to finish and i hate to call books important but the way it examines the lose lose game mothers (esp mothers of color) are forced to play when the state decides to intervene feels pretty fucking important. like i’m close to believing this should be required reading for anyone who works with kids. the prose is also just gorgeous and the characters are real. probably going to get added to my all time favorites once i’ve sat with it a little longer. 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Confinement, Child abuse, Racism, and Forced institutionalization

Moderate: Racial slurs, Misogyny, Child death, Suicide, Suicidal thoughts, Torture, and Sexism

Minor: Vomit, Violence, Physical abuse, Self harm, Miscarriage, and Lesbophobia

apollinares's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.75

This book made me deeply uncomfortable, sad, furious, exhausted. It takes a lot of skill for an author to evoke that much in a reader all at once. I like how raw and honest the portrayal of Frida's ordeal was, and how processing grief and one's own mistakes is presented as a non-linear, messy process. 

Frida isn't a likeable character. She's convinced us of it on page one, and she's convinced herself of it long before. As someone whose mother made mistakes she deeply regrets, and as someone who has had many conversations with her about what those mistakes did to both of us, I genuinely feel for Frida. I've seen other reviews condemn her, and it's really interesting to me where a reader would draw the line on what they find unacceptable in a parent, and how much they're willing to dehumanise a mother/discredit her emotional needs, when they learn the mother has made a mistake that caused her child harm. I'm not trying to excuse abuse, it's just fascinating how quickly someone's empathy for a person, and their sense of nuance, disappears when the person in the wrong is a parent. I mean, people are rating the book lower because the protagonist has done something wrong and that makes the book supposedly bad. The point is right there, guys, come on...

The way blame is placed in the book is interesting to me, too - how the women are treated as irredeemable, and how the state would rather interfere once harm has been caused (and arguably proceed to traumatise the child even more) than offer parents mental health support before mistakes like this can occur. It's infuriating to experience and to process, and when the fathers were introduced, I became so much angrier knowing how much easier they supposedly have it. 

The ending is tragic and inevitable. I don't know how else Chan could have ended this book. Frida's unravelling is addicting, and sad, and I couldn't look away the whole time.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Suicide, Child abuse, Infidelity, and Suicidal thoughts

Moderate: Miscarriage, Misogyny, Xenophobia, Bullying, Medical content, Mental illness, Alcohol, Lesbophobia, Medical trauma, Domestic abuse, Pregnancy, Racial slurs, Sexism, Toxic relationship, Addiction, Emotional abuse, Kidnapping, Pedophilia, and Physical abuse

Minor: Sexual content, Sexual harassment, Self harm, Suicide attempt, Violence, and Vomit

lindsayerin's review against another edition

dark sad slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.5

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Gaslighting, Suicide, Suicidal thoughts, Emotional abuse, Racial slurs, Forced institutionalization, Sexism, Racism, Infidelity, and Self harm

Moderate: Child abuse

Minor: Rape

notalwaysontime's review against another edition

dark sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? It's complicated

5.0

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Suicide, Child abuse, Sexual violence, Racial slurs, Abandonment, Forced institutionalization, Misogyny, Suicidal thoughts, Pregnancy, Grief, and Sexism

Minor: Drug use, Alcohol, Mental illness, and Miscarriage

janienejulia's review against another edition

emotional sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Cursing, Suicidal thoughts, Abandonment, Child abuse, Suicide, and Kidnapping

Moderate: Confinement, Death, Racial slurs, Sexual assault, Racism, Sexism, Sexual harassment, and Sexual content

Minor: Alcohol, Blood, and Panic attacks/disorders

mollygross's review against another edition

dark emotional tense slow-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.0

(mild spoilers) conflicted… the concept of the book was great, very unique and compelling but i found the pacing to be slow and repetitive. at times this reminded me of black mirror- creepy, dystopian, and shocking but really made me think and reflect on the truth it’s based on. 

this book dealt with a lot of heavy and important topics - racism, sexism, classism, & more + how they all affect families dealing with social workers and the system. unfortunately i really didn’t like the ending but i think that’s the point. overall i appreciated the concept and themes but found it slow and hard to get through at times.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Suicide attempt and Suicide

Moderate: Racism, Xenophobia, Homophobia, and Sexism

kesselm's review against another edition

dark emotional reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? A mix
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? It's complicated
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

A powerful story of the lengths a mother will go to for her child. In her debut novel “The School for Good Mothers,” Jessamine Chan tells the story of Frida Liu, who had a bad day. In a moment of poor judgment, Frida leaves her daughter Harriet alone. The neighbors call the police on Frida, and Harriet is sent to live with her father. Facing the possibility of losing Harriet forever, Frida agrees to attend the titular School for Good Mothers. She is at the institution, like all the other mothers, to prove that she can learn to be good.

This book looks at a near dystopian future where parents, especially mothers, are expected to be perfect. There can never be a “bad day.” The novel speaks to traps that society sets for parents and feeds the fears that many of them face. Am I raising my child right? Do I love my child? Does my child love me?

The novel also critiques societal factors that impact how a parent can care for a child and how society reacts to those factors: race, gender, mental illness, and socioeconomic status. The pressures are real and magnified as the reader watches Frida attend the School for Good Mothers. The reader is often questioning if Frida and the other mothers will make it through the one-year program. Will they get their children back?

Readers who are sensitive to triggers should consider the following trigger warnings: child abuse, suicide, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, racism, and sexism.

The book was well written and I found myself wanting to find out what was going to happen. The book could feel slow and repetitive at times, but I felt like that enhanced my understanding of the book. It helped me connect to Frida more closely because I could imagine how slow and repetitive her days at the institute could be.

This book also ate at underlying fears that I have. As the mother of a toddler, I often find myself wondering if I’m a good enough mother, if I’m doing the best job that I can. It horrified me to think that something like this could happen. Although it’s speculative fiction, it would not take much for our society to find ourselves in this type of situation. I hugged my child a little bit longer after reading this.

I am glad that I read this book, and the story sticks in my head. I would recommend this book to people who enjoy speculative fiction with Big Brother dystopian elements. I also recommend this book to people who like to read about how injustice in society can affect people. For parents, if you don’t want to question if you are doing a good enough job raising your children, I might stay away from the book. I gave this book 5 out of 5 stars.

 

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Suicide, Child abuse, and Suicidal thoughts

Moderate: Racism, Sexism, and Self harm

alliecat1915's review against another edition

dark emotional sad

• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

4.0

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Content Warnings

Moderate: Sexism, Suicide, Biphobia, Child abuse, Emotional abuse, Confinement, Grief, Homophobia, Infidelity, Injury/Injury detail, Kidnapping, Racial slurs, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Child death, Death, Forced institutionalization, and Lesbophobia

mpop's review against another edition

dark sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Plot
• Strong character development? No
• Loveable characters? No
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

2.5

I kept hoping there would be some lightness or hope in this book, but it started sad and kept being sad all the way through. The premise hooked me - but the story itself bogged me down. 

Most of it was set in the school, where the mothers are assigned tasks with impossible standards by cruel instructors, then fail the tasks - over and over and over. While the tasks varied, this part of the book felt repetitive. I didn't feel like there was much character development for anyone, other than Frida internalizing the message that she's a bad mother. She does take agency at the very end by

kidnapping Harriet in an ill-conceived plot,

but that's about it. 

There are huge differences between how the fathers and mothers are treated in their schools, but there's no real explanation for this - I understand that it's to magnify the different expectations that society has for fathers and mothers, but there wasn't an internal logic for it in the book-world (other than fathers always getting phone privileges because it's important for fathers to be in their children's lives), so rather than highlighting society's flaws, it felt like more arbitrary cruelty. This example illustrates how I felt about the book generally - not quite explained enough, but sad. 

I enjoyed the parts where Frida discusses her Chinese-American identity, relationships with her parents, and the experiences she had as a Chinese-American girl/woman the most. That resonated and made her seem more like a real person, with complex experiences and feelings, rather than the flat "bad mother" who's just berated over and over.

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Content Warnings

Graphic: Grief

Moderate: Kidnapping, Self harm, Mental illness, Abandonment, Suicide, Suicidal thoughts, Sexism, Misogyny, Injury/Injury detail, and Infidelity

Minor: Pregnancy, Sexual violence, Child abuse, Violence, Sexual assault, Racial slurs, Racism, Physical abuse, Alcohol, Alcoholism, Miscarriage, and Eating disorder