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4.02 AVERAGE
4.02 AVERAGE
funny
informative
reflective
relaxing
slow-paced
Pretty forgettable philosophy-based self-help, very little actionable advice and much more theoretical
This might be the only (so-called) self-help book that includes a quote from The Wire at the beginning of a chapter -- and surely that's a good sign.
I would have been content if this book had been what I expected: an acerbic expose of self-help hokum. Instead, it proved to be much more: a cogent synthesis of a number of philosophical and psychological notions and approaches that offer a healthier, more realistic, way of living a happier life. Drawing from Stoicism (the real thing, not the straw man version most of us hear about), Buddhism, and psychological studies that are critical of so-called positive thinking, what I found most striking about The Antidote was how often it seemed to articulate and complete my own half-formed ideas. Forcing yourself to "think positive" often makes failure that much more devastating; setting long-terms goals often means scuttling your well-being in the drive to achieve (and doubling down at the very moment it might make sense to abandon a bad idea); trying to feel motivated can create an extra thing to be frustrated and depressed about; there is comfort and relief to be found in contemplating worst-case-scenarios and even death itself rather than trying to emphasize the positive at all costs . . . and on and on.
To be clear: the approaches (note the plural) outlined in this book are not meant to help you achieve happiness in some defined, end-of-the-line, concrete sense. Instead it is a toolkit, a series of ways to approach life more realistically and genuinely. Somehow the positive-thought advocates have created the sense that their approach is about embracing life when, in fact, the opposite is true: their approach involves ignoring and denying much of what makes life what it is. What this book tries to do is offer some ways of finding happiness (rather than Being Happy) by taking in the totality of our lives rather than filtering out whatever we perceive as an obstacle to our goals.
I would have been content if this book had been what I expected: an acerbic expose of self-help hokum. Instead, it proved to be much more: a cogent synthesis of a number of philosophical and psychological notions and approaches that offer a healthier, more realistic, way of living a happier life. Drawing from Stoicism (the real thing, not the straw man version most of us hear about), Buddhism, and psychological studies that are critical of so-called positive thinking, what I found most striking about The Antidote was how often it seemed to articulate and complete my own half-formed ideas. Forcing yourself to "think positive" often makes failure that much more devastating; setting long-terms goals often means scuttling your well-being in the drive to achieve (and doubling down at the very moment it might make sense to abandon a bad idea); trying to feel motivated can create an extra thing to be frustrated and depressed about; there is comfort and relief to be found in contemplating worst-case-scenarios and even death itself rather than trying to emphasize the positive at all costs . . . and on and on.
To be clear: the approaches (note the plural) outlined in this book are not meant to help you achieve happiness in some defined, end-of-the-line, concrete sense. Instead it is a toolkit, a series of ways to approach life more realistically and genuinely. Somehow the positive-thought advocates have created the sense that their approach is about embracing life when, in fact, the opposite is true: their approach involves ignoring and denying much of what makes life what it is. What this book tries to do is offer some ways of finding happiness (rather than Being Happy) by taking in the totality of our lives rather than filtering out whatever we perceive as an obstacle to our goals.
An enjoyable and very readable journey through a whole smattering of life philosophies and guiding personalities. Burkeman has a good sense of when to add some personal reflection and when to be more journalistic that keep this from getting dragged down in memoir or caught in the weeds of a particular idea. While the book does give some guiding advice, this isn't really a self help book and folks looking for more step-by-step advice would need to follow up with something that digs more practically into the ideas Burkeman scratches the surface of here. Worth a read if you are the kind of person who thinks about what you are thinking and looking to influence how you feel.
Even though this book can be placed in the category of 'popular psychology/filosophy', I don't see it as a 'self help' book nor as a book merely listing a selection of studies and facts.
The book carries the feeling of the message it aims to deliver: to reflect on how most of us are living our lives in finding happiness and imagining/setting goals to reach the 'ideal' state. It invites the reader to consider for themselves whether the 'negative path' might be a better way towards a happier life. One of the good side-effects: No checklist is forced upon you of 'all the things you should do to become happier'.
For me, This book mostly was an eye opening primer/entry into knowing the effects of stoicism and hindoeism on daily life (chapters 2-3). Other chapters weren't always my cup of tea. Although I found multiple gems in them, there were multiple sections that I found uninteresting (like, the definition of self). Overall, I'm glad to have read all of them to have gotten the full package of mental richness.
The book carries the feeling of the message it aims to deliver: to reflect on how most of us are living our lives in finding happiness and imagining/setting goals to reach the 'ideal' state. It invites the reader to consider for themselves whether the 'negative path' might be a better way towards a happier life. One of the good side-effects: No checklist is forced upon you of 'all the things you should do to become happier'.
For me, This book mostly was an eye opening primer/entry into knowing the effects of stoicism and hindoeism on daily life (chapters 2-3). Other chapters weren't always my cup of tea. Although I found multiple gems in them, there were multiple sections that I found uninteresting (like, the definition of self). Overall, I'm glad to have read all of them to have gotten the full package of mental richness.
Our author follows in the foot steps of Mary Roach, encouraging you to learn with him. A quick, fun read.
Nice that it's well written - I was always going to agree with it. I like the distinction he makes between optimism (which I like) and 'Positive Thinking' which I loathe. The book has, if nothing else, added to my vocabulary so that I can explain better why 'being positive' makes me itch and being called 'negative' strikes me as both a compliment, and an unfair judgement.
emotional
reflective
medium-paced
Wonderful read. Defines ‘toxic positivity,’ something I never even thought about as a concept. This gave me the chance to live in the moment. I’ll be coming back to this book every so often.
Really, really liked this. It's one of those books that I read at EXACTLY the right time in my life.
Quite enjoyable and engrossing read on the powers of viewing the word from a more stoic view. As somehow who doesn’t subscribe to positive thinking and who has issues with dogmatic adherence to goals this book truly spoke to me.