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4.02 AVERAGE
4.02 AVERAGE
I normally don't write book reviews, but I feel like I should really do it for "The Antidote". It's a book about finding happiness without what the author calls "the cult of optimism", which according to Burkeman has numerous problems; instead he suggests a multitude of "negative paths" to reach that goal. The author takes us on a journey through philosophies and psychology, from the stoics and meditation/buddhism over the problems that a focus on goals and security can cause up to embracing both failure and death, and tries to show us similarities and differences between approaches.
If you already know much about these topics, I don't think that book will teach you much. The 8 chapters are all around 25 pages, so they don't go too deep into each area. But it was very helpful to someone like me who'd like to get a curated overview over approaches - not only was it interesting and gave me many great impulses, but I now have multiple areas I'd like to take a deeper look into.
Not all chapters of the book spoke to me. But that's fine - everyone has different areas they struggle in, after all - and those that *did* speak to me left lasting impressions. I was especially interested in and will be learning more about:
- Stoicism. I'm not sure there's much of a Stoic in me, but it's definitely something I want to learn more about.
- Albert Ellis' very interesting perspectives on "irrational beliefs". There are two things he points out in the book:
> Overinflating the things we would prefer: "We elevate those things we want, those things we would prefer to have, into things we believe we MUST have; we feel we MUST perform well in certain circumstances or that people MUST treat us well. Becase we think these things must occur, it follows that it would be an absolute catastrophe if they did not."
> Overinflating consequences in general: "The distinction between juding something to be 'very bad' and juding it to be 'absolutely horrific' makes all the difference in the world. It is only the absolutely horrific that we respond with blind terror; all other fears are finite, and thus susceptible to being coped with." So... while consequences might often be disagreeable and you might feel sad or frustrated, they aren't awful and completely terribly. They aren't as bad as it could be (you're most likely still alive, after all) and life will go on.
- Nietzsche's "Amor Fati" - not just accepting fate, but deeming it good or at least necessary. I don't think Burkeman actually mentions Nietzsche in the book, but Amor Fati seemed fairly interesting, so on the list it goes. And no, that's definitely not a call to passively endure everything. I really liked this video about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Xzh1BjCA5Q
- Cognitive Biases. It might be a good idea to finally learn more about how much goes wrong in our brains.
- Goals vs direction: It was nice to be reminded that making long-running concrete plans can be counterproductive (e.g. you might enjoy the present less because you just focus on the goal, you might be disappointed when you finally arrive and you realize it wasn't worth it, and plans seldomly account for personal change and opportunities you meet along the way) and how much I like the flexibility of how I usually operate: Doing, learning and pursuing what I currently enjoy and what I think feels right for me at the moment. Picking a direction instead of a concrete goal. "Meandering with purpose", as Stephen Shapiro puts it.
In the end, I feel similarly to what Burkeman mentions in the epilogue: I'm neither stoic nor buddhist, and since starting this book no great tragedies befell me to really test what I learnt, but I feel like I'm benefitting in many small ways already. And I'm very much looking forward to further my studies.
If you already know much about these topics, I don't think that book will teach you much. The 8 chapters are all around 25 pages, so they don't go too deep into each area. But it was very helpful to someone like me who'd like to get a curated overview over approaches - not only was it interesting and gave me many great impulses, but I now have multiple areas I'd like to take a deeper look into.
Not all chapters of the book spoke to me. But that's fine - everyone has different areas they struggle in, after all - and those that *did* speak to me left lasting impressions. I was especially interested in and will be learning more about:
- Stoicism. I'm not sure there's much of a Stoic in me, but it's definitely something I want to learn more about.
- Albert Ellis' very interesting perspectives on "irrational beliefs". There are two things he points out in the book:
> Overinflating the things we would prefer: "We elevate those things we want, those things we would prefer to have, into things we believe we MUST have; we feel we MUST perform well in certain circumstances or that people MUST treat us well. Becase we think these things must occur, it follows that it would be an absolute catastrophe if they did not."
> Overinflating consequences in general: "The distinction between juding something to be 'very bad' and juding it to be 'absolutely horrific' makes all the difference in the world. It is only the absolutely horrific that we respond with blind terror; all other fears are finite, and thus susceptible to being coped with." So... while consequences might often be disagreeable and you might feel sad or frustrated, they aren't awful and completely terribly. They aren't as bad as it could be (you're most likely still alive, after all) and life will go on.
- Nietzsche's "Amor Fati" - not just accepting fate, but deeming it good or at least necessary. I don't think Burkeman actually mentions Nietzsche in the book, but Amor Fati seemed fairly interesting, so on the list it goes. And no, that's definitely not a call to passively endure everything. I really liked this video about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Xzh1BjCA5Q
- Cognitive Biases. It might be a good idea to finally learn more about how much goes wrong in our brains.
- Goals vs direction: It was nice to be reminded that making long-running concrete plans can be counterproductive (e.g. you might enjoy the present less because you just focus on the goal, you might be disappointed when you finally arrive and you realize it wasn't worth it, and plans seldomly account for personal change and opportunities you meet along the way) and how much I like the flexibility of how I usually operate: Doing, learning and pursuing what I currently enjoy and what I think feels right for me at the moment. Picking a direction instead of a concrete goal. "Meandering with purpose", as Stephen Shapiro puts it.
In the end, I feel similarly to what Burkeman mentions in the epilogue: I'm neither stoic nor buddhist, and since starting this book no great tragedies befell me to really test what I learnt, but I feel like I'm benefitting in many small ways already. And I'm very much looking forward to further my studies.
The author might not appreciate me calling this a self-help book, but it is. And it is the first self-help book I've ever read that left me feeling better about myself instead of worse. It is the antidote! Highly recommend!
Very much enjoyed Burkeman's voice reading this. Loved the premise. Found myself somehow a little disappointed by how much actual self-helpiness there was in here. It has a sort of spiritual seeker quality that I was surprised by!
But I learned a lot of very interesting stuff. I want to re-visit the chapter 4 that had to do with Goals. (Wish I'd gotten the actual book, rather than the audio, since I want to refer back to it. Virtually impossible with an audiobook.) Anyway - was very intrigued by the stuff about entrepreneurs and their lack of goal setting. That so many of the successful ones are like chefs who can make something with whatever's in the kitchen, rather than big planners who go out and by all the right ingredients. Intriguing.
But I learned a lot of very interesting stuff. I want to re-visit the chapter 4 that had to do with Goals. (Wish I'd gotten the actual book, rather than the audio, since I want to refer back to it. Virtually impossible with an audiobook.) Anyway - was very intrigued by the stuff about entrepreneurs and their lack of goal setting. That so many of the successful ones are like chefs who can make something with whatever's in the kitchen, rather than big planners who go out and by all the right ingredients. Intriguing.
A fascinating book that is far more balanced than its somewhat sensationalist title would have you believe. It delves into a multitude of different philosophies in an effort to try to analyze, rationally, what mental attitudes and viewpoints are more likely to create happiness...as compared to the relentless goal-oriented emphasis on positivity so widely propagated today.
In summary: "You want it to be one way. But it's the other way." -Marlo Stanfield in the Wire
Entertaining. Wouldn't recommend it to anyone in the field.
Entertaining. Wouldn't recommend it to anyone in the field.
Worth reading. There are many useful ideas here, some of which I knew but needed to be reminded.
Well I read it, and I have already almost no memory of what I read, sooo.
Interesting take on the happiness genre with well-read and, generally, well-written prose. A few new ideas.
For the most part, I enjoyed this book, which offers a different perspective on happiness. There are a number of very interesting concepts, and the book is fairly enjoyable to read. However, I feel it runs out of useful ideas about two-thirds of the way through, and by the end I was a bit sick of it.
The perfect blend of serious philosophy and snarky British humor.