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4.11 AVERAGE
4.11 AVERAGE
I’ve been working my way through most of the Gottman books, trying to find the right one to use in a class at church. This one is something I might recommend to couples preparing for marriage; it has some good fodder for conversations in it. But I found the “spiritual” questions lacking— they don’t address a lot of what I end up talking to couples about in their religious life.
This was fun. It ended up taking us way longer than 8 weeks to complete, largely because it was mostly a stimulant to more detailed versions of things we already knew about each other and conversations we've already had. After ten years together, we can still stay up long past our bed time just holding conversations about all things deep into the night. Very few new details came to light through these exercises for us.
The book sells itself as being for couples that have been together any length of time; that are in a good place or a bad place. I think the real primary audience for this is likely couples with communication issues.
My wife and I have always been good at talking about things from past and current feelings to dreams and beyond. We still enjoyed going through the exercises together and the chapters are well written, but I can't say we gained a lot personally.
If I were to buy this book for a friend, I think I'd focus on newlyweds or couples that are struggling with communication. I think it would be really fantastic for those couples.
The book sells itself as being for couples that have been together any length of time; that are in a good place or a bad place. I think the real primary audience for this is likely couples with communication issues.
My wife and I have always been good at talking about things from past and current feelings to dreams and beyond. We still enjoyed going through the exercises together and the chapters are well written, but I can't say we gained a lot personally.
If I were to buy this book for a friend, I think I'd focus on newlyweds or couples that are struggling with communication. I think it would be really fantastic for those couples.
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
Well other than making me horribly aware of my singleness, this was such a sweet book on how to build solid relationships. Some of the dates were kinda cheesy, and I do not think you have to be in a relationship to read this book as it had information that would be beneficial to those in relationships as well as those who are still searching. The questions are even great for self reflection so you are aware of what you want going into relationships. I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t benefit from a little self reflection. Dear future husband, wherever you may be, I can’t wait to meet you and grow together!
challenging
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
This book is simple and good in the way that it’s to the point about how to solve issues, and a bit validating, but I do not know why these authors are so loved because oh my god they are so annoying and pompous. Shut up about your love lab dude! I absolutely not believe that he can predict a couples relationship working out or not. I also find the “inclusivity” pompous and bit performative, the line about there being no research on trans couples rubbed me the wrong way. Don’t yall have a love lab?? This book is very clinical and i definitely took some exercises away from it but they also seem a bit contrived. Last note, JUST SAY THEY instead of he or she, if you’re so “inclusive”. It’s less words!
challenging
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
A very insightful book with some excellent ideas for opening communication. I can see how this would be very helpful for a "young" relationship as a means of making sure you are on the right path. But it also has some thoughtful insights for a more (ahem) advanced relationship. Getting out of ruts is a big deal. Keeping the door of communication open is big freaking deal. I appreciate everything the Gottman team has to offer.
Needs to be twice as long with more examples, especially diverse ones as John and Julie (the authors) were examples in most every chapter. I would've also liked to see more research mentioned or quoted. Very bare-bones. I get this is supposed to be an outline for you to do the dates, but I would've liked more meaty content in the chapers to back them up.
The authors struggled in meaningfully addressing any sort of "alternative style" of relationship-- be it same-sex, hetero but without kids (current and future), or non-religious. The most they did was nod in acknowledgment that they exist. The book is very much geared towards a Christian cishet relationship with kids (or the plan to have them).
All in all, it was a good book; the date recommendation pages with the self-reflection questions were by far and away the most useful. The explanatory bits needed more info. Overall the examples the book used were bland and could be supplimented by just having more supporting arguments and cases.
The authors struggled in meaningfully addressing any sort of "alternative style" of relationship-- be it same-sex, hetero but without kids (current and future), or non-religious. The most they did was nod in acknowledgment that they exist. The book is very much geared towards a Christian cishet relationship with kids (or the plan to have them).
All in all, it was a good book; the date recommendation pages with the self-reflection questions were by far and away the most useful. The explanatory bits needed more info. Overall the examples the book used were bland and could be supplimented by just having more supporting arguments and cases.
reflective
medium-paced