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zydecovivo's review
informative
reflective
slow-paced
3.75
I was looking for a book to fulfill the prompt for the StoryGraph Genre Challenge 2024 “a nonfiction book about psychology.” The psychologist Esther Perel was recommended, and while this particular title was not one that initially piqued my interest, it was one of few offered on Libby by my libraries. As someone who has never been in a long-term sexual relationship, I wasn’t sure if I would be able to connect with anything in the book. I will admit I did find it difficult to get through. I began reading the ebook version and it took me over a week to get less than halfway through. I was able to get through the audiobook much quicker, though it did take a second to get used to Perel’s voice and reading style. However, I still found quite a few gems of wisdom throughout that I think apply to more than an intimate relationship. I made more highlights in this book than in any other book in the past year. Considering what we need in relationships and how they can change is helpful. Perel also roots her theories in stories of her patients, which helpfully illustrate different thoughts and situations. While I did sometimes wish there was more scientific testing to back them up, I know this is psychology and there are still many mysteries we don’t understand about the human brain. I didn’t always agree with Perel’s statements, but I found the book thought provoking. It’s also a testament to her experience that her theories and writing are just as, if not more, applicable to relationships today as it was almost 20 years ago.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Infidelity
Moderate: Sexual content
Minor: Rape and Sexual assault
feeflebrief's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
Brb recommending this book to everyone I know! Seriously though, I will be thinking about this book for a long time and hope to integrate what I learned into future relationships.
erd's review against another edition
funny
informative
medium-paced
4.0
worth the readTL;DR poly married couples are happier, and even monogamous couples benefit from separating from each other sexually (e.g. having their own fantasies)
alexandra_luiza's review against another edition
informative
reflective
fast-paced
3.25
Esther Perel offers an interesting exploration of the complexities of desire within long-term relationships. The book delves into how the domestication of intimacy can often lead to a diminishment of sexual desire and provides insights into reconciling this paradox.
However, I found that the book, while rich in studies and examples, falls short of thoroughly unpacking the psychological underpinnings of its central thesis. It often presents research findings without fully exploring the psychological mechanisms at play, leaving a reader like me wanting more depth in this regard. This approach made the book feel more like a survey of studies rather than an in-depth exploration of the intricate dance between intimacy and desire in domestic settings.
That said, the book does shine in parts, offering valuable perspectives and prompting readers to reflect on their own relationships. It serves as a good starting point for anyone looking to understand the challenges of sustaining desire in long-term partnerships, although those seeking a deep dive into the psychology of relationships might find it lacking in parts.
Overall, the book provides a thoughtful, albeit surface-level, examination of an important and complex topic. It's definitely worth a read for its interesting insights, but be prepared to look further if you're after a deeper psychological analysis.
However, I found that the book, while rich in studies and examples, falls short of thoroughly unpacking the psychological underpinnings of its central thesis. It often presents research findings without fully exploring the psychological mechanisms at play, leaving a reader like me wanting more depth in this regard. This approach made the book feel more like a survey of studies rather than an in-depth exploration of the intricate dance between intimacy and desire in domestic settings.
That said, the book does shine in parts, offering valuable perspectives and prompting readers to reflect on their own relationships. It serves as a good starting point for anyone looking to understand the challenges of sustaining desire in long-term partnerships, although those seeking a deep dive into the psychology of relationships might find it lacking in parts.
Overall, the book provides a thoughtful, albeit surface-level, examination of an important and complex topic. It's definitely worth a read for its interesting insights, but be prepared to look further if you're after a deeper psychological analysis.