Reviews

Sei kein Mann: Warum Männlichkeit ein Albtraum für Jungs ist by J.J. Bola

nataschalovesreading's review

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3.0

[Hörbuch] Sehr oberflächlich und ich denke, ein ganz guter Einstieg ins Thema. Als Frau hab ich mich an einigen Stellen überhaupt nicht angesprochen gefühlt – wahrscheinlich bin ich einfach nicht die Zielgruppe. Besonders gut fand ich den Teil, in dem die strukturelle Benachteiligung intersektional betrachtet wurde.

Fachlich geht es nicht in wirklich die Tiefe, trotzdem hab ich ein paar neue Dinge gelernt und durch die sehr persönliche Perspektive des Autors war es wirklich leicht verständlich.

Der Sprecher hat mir leider nicht zugesagt.

toribth's review

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4.0

Tolle Einführung in das Thema. Menschen, die sich schon sehr lange mit Themen wie Feminismus und Toxischer Männlichkeit beschäftigen, werden hier nicht allzu viel neues lesen und lernen, aber eine treffende Zusammenfassung ist es allemal. Die Einflüsse und Anekdoten aus den Leben verschiedenster Menschen (Privatpersonen sowie Personen des öffentlichen Lebens) sind wirklich interessant und heben die Relevanz des Themas nur noch einmal hervor.

whitneyiles's review against another edition

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5.0

Beautiful book. Should be in every school, library, PRU, YOI and Prison up and down the country. Also a brilliant tool for those working with young people. Thoroughly enjoyed this read and cannot wait for JJ Bola to develop more on this subject.

half_book_and_co's review against another edition

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4.0

3,5

In Masks Off: Masculinity Redefined JJ Bola examines the ways masculinity (or better masculinities) is (are) crafted, reinforced and upheld and at what cost. Bringing together stories – and lessons learned - from his own life, experiences from working with different groups of men, as well as secondary literature (studies, articles, books etc) JJ Bola focusses on persistent patriarchal structures and asks what men can do to dismantle these. This book is only 120 pages long which makes it a very approachable primer for men who want to start to critically engage with the world they live in. In brief chapters Bola analyses how masculinity plays out on the political stage, in sports, on the Internet, in love and sex, or with regards to mental health and violence. This book takes a staunch pro-feminist stance (while also explaining why men proclaiming themselves to be feminists (as an identity marker) can be part of the problem).

The book is really beautifully written and shines especially when Bola reveals his own vulnerabilities and also when he discusses the ways in which different categories (such as race and class) intersect or how different expectations(for example culturally) can clash. But at times I wished for a more explicit grounding in feminist theory, history, and praxis, as well as quoting more feminists (especially of course Black feminists). Quoting itself is such an important praxis, as Sara Ahmed stresses, and in this book, I was sometimes baffled by the choices. Overall I do understand that Bola might not have wanted to make the book look overly academic with loads of quotations and thus make it difficult to approach, but even then, the question arises who do you quote and why such a short reading list at the end? (Example: Why quote Michael Kimmel who is one of these self-proclaimed male feminists who was accused of sexual harassment?)

And then there were a few smaller remarks which threw me out of the reading experience because they deeply irritated me – for example when Bola writes that the topic of raped men is overlooked and I felt like asking “Yes, but by whom?”(feminists and especially people who work and organize around the topic of rape are the ones who regularly also speak about violence against boys and men). Ina later chapter Bola actually acknowledges that too but I had already been reading on a bit confused for at least 30 pages. Another point of irritation? Bola begins to explain patriarchy – which of course makes sense – but he argues that many might not know the term outside of academic discourse. One sentence over he also writes that he never came across the word while at uni. So, there is already a dissonance and it needn’t be there if he had acknowledged that patriarchy is a) only in very specific academic discourses actually relevant(and those are often marginalized within academia) and b) patriarchy is, of course, a concept which has a long history within organizing and activism. The reasons you don’t know the term can be more complex than just implying it’s an elite thing. One last example: Bola makes it sound as if Amber Rose ‘invented’ the slutwalk movement. That is just plain wrong and again makes a lot of feminist activism and history invisible.

I know, these last 1,5 paragraphs sound as if I hated the book – which, as you see from my rating, I did not. I think this book could be a very good starting point for many men as it finds a good balance of showing the negative effects of the patriarchy on men but also stressing all the ways men obviously profit. He does tackle some dicey topics such as the high number of men who become victims of violence or the saying “men are trash” and actually does a good job debunking some myths and typical arguments. So, I would recommend it though with reservations and maybe with adding a further "further reading list".

meggwennyth's review against another edition

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5.0

This book was recommended by a friend who knows I have an interest in masculinity. I honestly think it might be one of the best introductions to the topic written by a man that I have ever read. I especially appreciated the chapter on intersectionality and masculinity. :) I honestly would 10/10 rec' this book for any man who is interest in dissecting his masculinity or who feels confined by patriarchy.

rebeccavs's review against another edition

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informative reflective medium-paced

4.0

vorstadtlegende's review

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3.0

Ein gutes, informatives Buch - jedoch eher als Einstieg zu betrachten, mir fehlt an einigen Stellen Tiefe und weitere Ausführungen; es kratzt eher an der Oberfläche

andyirwin89's review against another edition

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4.0

A really useful and accessible introduction to the concepts of masculinity, patriarchy and intersectionality; and more importantly a call to move the conversation towards a plurality of “masculinities”. Bola encourages men to be kinder to themselves and each other, and challenges us take responsibility for positive change. He also provides a really useful set of resources at the end.

It’s 4 stars not 5 because, in style, it wavers between ‘academic’ and ‘conversational’. That’s not a problem in itself but it’s a bit disruptive in the reading. Bola chooses to quote articles and statistics in some places and not provide citations in others when you might expect to see them. I also wasn’t quite sure what some of the stats were telling me. That aside, this is great. Boys & men should read it.

cupidtuals's review against another edition

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3.0

definitely a very basic intro text on feminism, masculinities, and related topics that makes very good points. i think everybody, especially every man should read this. and then read more & more because this barely scratches the surface.

johaennsel's review against another edition

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challenging hopeful inspiring reflective fast-paced

4.25