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johaennsel's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
4.25
jowixx's review against another edition
3.0
Męskości 101, dobra na pierwsze rozpoznania, wtórna i płytka, jeśli czytało się cokolwiek innego.
akulu's review against another edition
3.0
Profound yet very easy to digest. Definitely recommend it as an intro into understanding what the patriarchy is and evidently why theres a need for feminism
rubywarhol's review against another edition
4.0
Mask off (4/5)
I read this with my partner and he said he was putting off reading the last chapter because he enjoyed reading it so much. It's very dense and gives brief introductions to all the basics of feminism and (toxic) masculinity with some background information. Despite the abundance of information, the tone was gently thought-provoking, encouraging, and honest.
I would recommend it to anyone who wants to get into feminist literature and is looking for a place to start. It was the perfect length and casual/conversational writing style, clearly written for 'the average man', not just posh politics graduates.
Using clear language and a good mix of theory and personal examples, always with an intersectional view, JJ Bola explains myths of masculinity in areas such as childcare, flirting, and emotional expression, and does a good job at examining anger issues and domestic violence, particularly how society raises boys to see violence as positive and normal, while also touching upon queerness, mental health, love, sex, incels and rape culture, political extremism, sports, and social media. He also addresses the concerns a lot of men have about feminism, and what they might struggle to understand.
I learned some new things about class and sports, some interesting studies and statistics, and more about differences in masculinity expectations for Black men, and how things like male affection and the act of holding each other accountable are dealt with in some African countries or minority communities in Britain.
The theory was broken down really well with stories and explanations of basic concepts, and the concrete calls for action in the conclusion were helpful – especially reading more, and writing more, which I've been saying as well, so it was good to have that confirmed by a famous person – but more practical tips throughout the book would have made it more applicable to the real world, especially on how to intervene and spark change in society as a man without subjecting yourself to mockery because everyone else was raised under the system as well, and by going against it you might even put yourself in danger.
This is what I was missing a little in the book: A lot of men know on an individual level that it's okay to cry (although it's probably still nice to hear it from another man), but that doesn't change the way their environment reacts to it. The problem isn't only what men aren't doing, it's also what's not acceptable for men to do, because sadly not everyone has read this book. And it's not as easy as "just doing it" because it'll only make that particular man a victim of the system for being "too feminine" - unless he is already at the top of the food chain and seen as a "manly man", e.g. a rich athlete with a traditionally masculine appearance; then he might be allowed to have a little depression as a treat. This is similar with women: Julia Roberts can have armpit hair and be loved for it, but I – a woman of colour who doesn't fit into most beauty standards and is also not a famous actress – was bullied in school when mine started to grow.
As a crash course in awareness of societal structures and power dynamics, this book works well. Now we need solutions for how to actively dismantle the system if no one else seems bothered by it.
I read this with my partner and he said he was putting off reading the last chapter because he enjoyed reading it so much. It's very dense and gives brief introductions to all the basics of feminism and (toxic) masculinity with some background information. Despite the abundance of information, the tone was gently thought-provoking, encouraging, and honest.
I would recommend it to anyone who wants to get into feminist literature and is looking for a place to start. It was the perfect length and casual/conversational writing style, clearly written for 'the average man', not just posh politics graduates.
Using clear language and a good mix of theory and personal examples, always with an intersectional view, JJ Bola explains myths of masculinity in areas such as childcare, flirting, and emotional expression, and does a good job at examining anger issues and domestic violence, particularly how society raises boys to see violence as positive and normal, while also touching upon queerness, mental health, love, sex, incels and rape culture, political extremism, sports, and social media. He also addresses the concerns a lot of men have about feminism, and what they might struggle to understand.
I learned some new things about class and sports, some interesting studies and statistics, and more about differences in masculinity expectations for Black men, and how things like male affection and the act of holding each other accountable are dealt with in some African countries or minority communities in Britain.
The theory was broken down really well with stories and explanations of basic concepts, and the concrete calls for action in the conclusion were helpful – especially reading more, and writing more, which I've been saying as well, so it was good to have that confirmed by a famous person – but more practical tips throughout the book would have made it more applicable to the real world, especially on how to intervene and spark change in society as a man without subjecting yourself to mockery because everyone else was raised under the system as well, and by going against it you might even put yourself in danger.
This is what I was missing a little in the book: A lot of men know on an individual level that it's okay to cry (although it's probably still nice to hear it from another man), but that doesn't change the way their environment reacts to it. The problem isn't only what men aren't doing, it's also what's not acceptable for men to do, because sadly not everyone has read this book. And it's not as easy as "just doing it" because it'll only make that particular man a victim of the system for being "too feminine" - unless he is already at the top of the food chain and seen as a "manly man", e.g. a rich athlete with a traditionally masculine appearance; then he might be allowed to have a little depression as a treat. This is similar with women: Julia Roberts can have armpit hair and be loved for it, but I – a woman of colour who doesn't fit into most beauty standards and is also not a famous actress – was bullied in school when mine started to grow.
As a crash course in awareness of societal structures and power dynamics, this book works well. Now we need solutions for how to actively dismantle the system if no one else seems bothered by it.
jsx27's review against another edition
3.0
A good summary of how 'masculinities' are perceived and dissected in contemporary sociological discourse. It is essentially a text that brings together a 'woke' guide for anyone coming to understand or challenge who they are as a man.
However, some of this didn't really fit for me. I found particularly the idea that playfighting and playing with toy guns leads to aggression later in life quite bizarre, namely because I don't know if I believe that. Playing with toy guns in my childhood certainly hasn't made me aggressive to people.
I think this is a book mostly aimed at straight men and especially straight black men, although the book is fairly intersectional.
Perhaps I was expecting this to be more of an individual view from Bola, as opposed to a general overview. It didn't bring me anything new or anything I hadn't already known, but as a gay man who's mostly come to terms with all of this, I don't think it's aimed at me.
However, some of this didn't really fit for me. I found particularly the idea that playfighting and playing with toy guns leads to aggression later in life quite bizarre, namely because I don't know if I believe that. Playing with toy guns in my childhood certainly hasn't made me aggressive to people.
I think this is a book mostly aimed at straight men and especially straight black men, although the book is fairly intersectional.
Perhaps I was expecting this to be more of an individual view from Bola, as opposed to a general overview. It didn't bring me anything new or anything I hadn't already known, but as a gay man who's mostly come to terms with all of this, I don't think it's aimed at me.
homieloverfriendx's review
2.0
Das Buch ist ein sehr grober Überblick über die Thematik. Für Einsteiger optimal - ich persönlich hätte mir deutlich mehr Tiefgang gewünscht.
Ich habe besonders bereut, in einem unüberlegten Moment die deutsche Version gekauft zu haben. Malcolm spricht wohl kein Englisch (mehr?). Keine Ahnung, wie er an diesen Job gekommen ist - es liest sich jedoch, als hätte man das englische Original in den Übersetzer von Google gepackt und das dann genau so drucken lassen.
Teilweise wurde wortwörtlich übersetzt, weshalb sich Sätze meilenweit ziehen und unverständlich werden. Da muss er selbst auch den Überblick verloren haben, denn oft werden die selben Inhalte einfach am Anfang UND am Ende dieser endlosen Sätze angeordnet. Generell ist der Satzbau fast immer merkwürdig. Rechtschreibfehler und Kommata, die scheinbar wahllos gesetzt wurden, runden das Erlebnis schön ab.
Was ich auch nicht verstanden habe: Wieso werden englische Wörter manchmal übersetzt, obwohl sie im deutschen Sprachgebrauch auch genutzt werden und manchmal nicht? Diesbezüglich hätte für Menschen, die in diesen Themen noch nicht versiert sind, beispielsweise ein Glossar hilfreich sein können. Stattdessen wird men are trash zu Männer sind Müll, good/nice guy wird zu der gute oder nette Kerl, toxic masculinity wird zu giftiger Männlichkeit, aber sowas wie Gender-Reveal-Party darf bleiben. Während das alles auf Krampf eingedeutscht wird, verwendet er an anderen Stellen umgangssprachliche Worte wie krass oder superlustig. Bitte entscheide dich: entweder wir übersetzen alles oder lassen es sein; entweder wir schreiben auf einem "hohen" Niveau oder in (fast schon) gesprochener Sprache.
Ich habe besonders bereut, in einem unüberlegten Moment die deutsche Version gekauft zu haben. Malcolm spricht wohl kein Englisch (mehr?). Keine Ahnung, wie er an diesen Job gekommen ist - es liest sich jedoch, als hätte man das englische Original in den Übersetzer von Google gepackt und das dann genau so drucken lassen.
Teilweise wurde wortwörtlich übersetzt, weshalb sich Sätze meilenweit ziehen und unverständlich werden. Da muss er selbst auch den Überblick verloren haben, denn oft werden die selben Inhalte einfach am Anfang UND am Ende dieser endlosen Sätze angeordnet. Generell ist der Satzbau fast immer merkwürdig. Rechtschreibfehler und Kommata, die scheinbar wahllos gesetzt wurden, runden das Erlebnis schön ab.
Was ich auch nicht verstanden habe: Wieso werden englische Wörter manchmal übersetzt, obwohl sie im deutschen Sprachgebrauch auch genutzt werden und manchmal nicht? Diesbezüglich hätte für Menschen, die in diesen Themen noch nicht versiert sind, beispielsweise ein Glossar hilfreich sein können. Stattdessen wird men are trash zu Männer sind Müll, good/nice guy wird zu der gute oder nette Kerl, toxic masculinity wird zu giftiger Männlichkeit, aber sowas wie Gender-Reveal-Party darf bleiben. Während das alles auf Krampf eingedeutscht wird, verwendet er an anderen Stellen umgangssprachliche Worte wie krass oder superlustig. Bitte entscheide dich: entweder wir übersetzen alles oder lassen es sein; entweder wir schreiben auf einem "hohen" Niveau oder in (fast schon) gesprochener Sprache.