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If Someone Says "You Complete Me," RUN!: Whoopi's Big Book of Relationships by Whoopi Goldberg
shelley_pearson's review against another edition
3.0
I chose this because I was looking for a fun book. It was pretty fun (for me), but she presents some ideas that are very different than what we’re generally taught to want. The big thing is that she doesn’t think that everyone is meant to be partnered. I think most people are raised to believe that having a partner or spouse is this ideal that we should all be striving for. But Whoopi doesn’t think that’s the case, and uses herself as an example of someone who isn’t meant to be in a relationship. She also presents some reasons to leave relationships, which could come across as a huge downer. When you’re in a bad relationship, I feel like the natural thing is to want to fix it or hope that your partner will change or improve and that you’ll end up with this “happy ever after” that we’re all trained to want, starting when we’re very young. Being told to end the relationship can feel really harsh, even if you know it’s not working.
She focuses a lot on cheating. Like she says over and over that you can’t change another person, and that you need to be upfront with your partner about yourself. I think she assumes a lot more self-awareness than most people actually have. The example she uses a lot is like “I’m a player, so if you’re going to be with me, you have to accept that.” And the other big thing is that the person being told this needs to accept it at face value, and not think “Ok, but I can change them.” I just think people aren’t that honest with themselves! I think that the player wants the security of a partner, so they’re not going to be upfront about being a player. And the other person who wants to be monogs but also really wants to be partnered would be like “well my love can make them be monogamous” and jump in anyway. Maybe I’m being too cynical?
I was hoping for a little bit more about Whoopi’s life, but this book is mostly advice with a few little tidbits about herself thrown in. Like how she thinks it’s good to have some friends who you can go to for a booty call, or as she calls it, a “hit and run.” She uses the term “hit and run” a LOT, lol. She also comes across as a little bit of an old fogey at times, like complaining about how people use their phones so much or how you can’t get to know a person via text, or proclaiming things like “no glove, no love!” I mean, yeah, sure, no glove no love, but it just seems like such a dated phrase. So I thought that was funny, how the book is a combo of radical ideas like “you don’t have to have a partner to have sex” and “damn kids spending so much time on their phones!”
There were definitely funny parts, and it’s a quick read, so I recommend it, but more if you’re looking for validation that not being in a relationship (or that being in a relationship that’s less mainstream) is ok than if you’re looking for a Whoopi Goldberg memoir.
She focuses a lot on cheating. Like she says over and over that you can’t change another person, and that you need to be upfront with your partner about yourself. I think she assumes a lot more self-awareness than most people actually have. The example she uses a lot is like “I’m a player, so if you’re going to be with me, you have to accept that.” And the other big thing is that the person being told this needs to accept it at face value, and not think “Ok, but I can change them.” I just think people aren’t that honest with themselves! I think that the player wants the security of a partner, so they’re not going to be upfront about being a player. And the other person who wants to be monogs but also really wants to be partnered would be like “well my love can make them be monogamous” and jump in anyway. Maybe I’m being too cynical?
I was hoping for a little bit more about Whoopi’s life, but this book is mostly advice with a few little tidbits about herself thrown in. Like how she thinks it’s good to have some friends who you can go to for a booty call, or as she calls it, a “hit and run.” She uses the term “hit and run” a LOT, lol. She also comes across as a little bit of an old fogey at times, like complaining about how people use their phones so much or how you can’t get to know a person via text, or proclaiming things like “no glove, no love!” I mean, yeah, sure, no glove no love, but it just seems like such a dated phrase. So I thought that was funny, how the book is a combo of radical ideas like “you don’t have to have a partner to have sex” and “damn kids spending so much time on their phones!”
There were definitely funny parts, and it’s a quick read, so I recommend it, but more if you’re looking for validation that not being in a relationship (or that being in a relationship that’s less mainstream) is ok than if you’re looking for a Whoopi Goldberg memoir.
aa111's review against another edition
3.0
I will never be able to look at stories with vampires in the same way...
emrsalgado's review against another edition
3.0
I didn't pay attention to realize it was a relationship book, but I enjoyed the humor and listening to Whoopi's voice, which is so distinctive and wonderful.
egoenner's review against another edition
2.0
Audio book, read by the author, funny but nothing especially memorable or deep. A good listen when I needed something light.
pussreboots's review against another edition
4.0
If Someone Says “You Complete Me," RUN! by Whoopi Goldberg is part memoir and part self help book. Goldberg uses the outline of her adult life to give relationship and self esteem advice.
I admit that I came for the memorable title but I stayed for the straight up, oft-times brutal advice. Basically, the take away is, don't get in a relationship with someone who wants you to be their better or missing half.
http://pussreboots.com/blog/2018/comments_12/if_someone_says_you_complete_me_run.html
I admit that I came for the memorable title but I stayed for the straight up, oft-times brutal advice. Basically, the take away is, don't get in a relationship with someone who wants you to be their better or missing half.
http://pussreboots.com/blog/2018/comments_12/if_someone_says_you_complete_me_run.html
kaybeee's review against another edition
5.0
Got a copy of this during a recent sale at audible because I love Whoopie and it sounded like an amusing read. She narrates the book, which makes the audiobook. Basically this is her giving advice on how relationships are different for everyone and how you don't need to rush to be in one or feel bad because you aren't or don't want to be.
denouements's review
4.0
This is who this book is for: someone who has a lot of responsibilities and lots of things going on in her life and in her mind and in her heart. So, for me, I have my family, my work, my passions and causes, and I am committed to all of them. A relationship has to fit into and work within that.
This book isn’t saying, “This is the only way.” It’s saying, “This is a way that makes sense to me.” Maybe it will make sense to you.
This book isn’t saying, “This is the only way.” It’s saying, “This is a way that makes sense to me.” Maybe it will make sense to you.
readingstones's review against another edition
4.0
A wonderful book whose goal is to empower people to ask, "What do I really want in a relationship?" A lot of 'nontraditional' options are suggested but really the book just wants you to think, think about putting yourself first, and making yourself happy above what society says should make you happy.
vailynst's review against another edition
5.0
I picked this book up at the dollar store. Yup. The dollar stores around me are great. I can go on a book hunt and come out grinning with bags of treasure. I was actually thinking about it being a good book to read for other friends, but I don't like to recommend a book without reading it for myself.
Frankly, the intro into the book is a turn off because it's very opinionated, brassy and in your face. It's not that I don't agree. It's more along the lines that I don't agree with everything Whoopi wrote. Then I read the rest of the book and I ended up nodding along to the end.
It's not about agreeing with every bit of what she wrote. It's about being aware, taking the time to think, to really express your feelings and not be lazy or afraid to do what is right for you no matter how unusual that choice may be.
The title is meant to grab your attention. It made me grin, roll my eyes, disagree, agree and had me flip the cover to read the flap.
This book is about relationships. The most important relationship is with yourself. Then come the people that make up your inner circle: significant other, family, children, friends, lovers, etc.
The book talks about figuring out what you want and then making a point of communicating that across to others. It's about having a basic set of manners for yourself and how you interact with other people. It talks about being okay with a variety of different situations, and how all of that is manageable as long as you are a complete within yourself and choose to honestly share whatever that may be.
Current society is very keen on labels and political correctness. Sometimes the two are the same and sometimes they mean different things. Names are fine. Definitions should be examined, understood and taken or not. I like the drive to seek out knowledge. I wish it did not lead to people having a divisive decisions by seeking it out. I wish it lead to more awareness and acceptance than lines of verbal battle. The whole book talks about situations that may not be "normal" or "acceptable" in general society but I'm okay with that.
The core of the book are the following bits:
1. Know yourself.
2. Be honest with yourself & those you have in your life.
3. Don't be afraid to see what makes you happy and be brave enough to do it.
(This is not a make yourself happy in spite of others or in the damnation of others.)
4. Change happens. See it. Embrace it. Yell at it. Take it for a ride.
A great book. I'm glad I read it. I will be passing it on to my friends.
Frankly, the intro into the book is a turn off because it's very opinionated, brassy and in your face. It's not that I don't agree. It's more along the lines that I don't agree with everything Whoopi wrote. Then I read the rest of the book and I ended up nodding along to the end.
It's not about agreeing with every bit of what she wrote. It's about being aware, taking the time to think, to really express your feelings and not be lazy or afraid to do what is right for you no matter how unusual that choice may be.
The title is meant to grab your attention. It made me grin, roll my eyes, disagree, agree and had me flip the cover to read the flap.
This book is about relationships. The most important relationship is with yourself. Then come the people that make up your inner circle: significant other, family, children, friends, lovers, etc.
The book talks about figuring out what you want and then making a point of communicating that across to others. It's about having a basic set of manners for yourself and how you interact with other people. It talks about being okay with a variety of different situations, and how all of that is manageable as long as you are a complete within yourself and choose to honestly share whatever that may be.
Current society is very keen on labels and political correctness. Sometimes the two are the same and sometimes they mean different things. Names are fine. Definitions should be examined, understood and taken or not. I like the drive to seek out knowledge. I wish it did not lead to people having a divisive decisions by seeking it out. I wish it lead to more awareness and acceptance than lines of verbal battle. The whole book talks about situations that may not be "normal" or "acceptable" in general society but I'm okay with that.
The core of the book are the following bits:
1. Know yourself.
2. Be honest with yourself & those you have in your life.
3. Don't be afraid to see what makes you happy and be brave enough to do it.
(This is not a make yourself happy in spite of others or in the damnation of others.)
4. Change happens. See it. Embrace it. Yell at it. Take it for a ride.
A great book. I'm glad I read it. I will be passing it on to my friends.
estelas's review against another edition
5.0
So funny, super chill and there is something in this for anyone and everyone.
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