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booagnes's review
3.0
This was definitely... different. It's be a while since I've read a memoir, so when this one popped up in my Netgalley, I figured I'd give it a shot. Now, this was an uncorrected, unfinished e-galley, so there were bound to be spots where things just didn't work. I'm pretty sure there was a part that appeared in two different spots in the book. The pacing and writing in the beginning was kind of hard to get through; it just didn't flow. The last half of the book was much better, which was probably due to it being the most recent in memory for the author.
As for the meat of the memoir itself, I really kind of enjoyed it. I wasn't quite so fond of the language, but the emotion and intelligence of it all was enjoyable. I found myself, as a single LDS woman, relating to quite a lot of it. There were moments where I went, "Oh my gosh, that's exactly like me!" There were also times where I blushed or gasped or giggled or was horrified. Having so many reactions to Nicole's story is definitely a good thing. It made me think about who I am, what I want, what I need, etc. It is a smart, thought-provoking depiction of life.
Confessions of a Latter-Day Virgin is a thoughtful, emotional, relate-able read that is sure to please many readers.
As for the meat of the memoir itself, I really kind of enjoyed it. I wasn't quite so fond of the language, but the emotion and intelligence of it all was enjoyable. I found myself, as a single LDS woman, relating to quite a lot of it. There were moments where I went, "Oh my gosh, that's exactly like me!" There were also times where I blushed or gasped or giggled or was horrified. Having so many reactions to Nicole's story is definitely a good thing. It made me think about who I am, what I want, what I need, etc. It is a smart, thought-provoking depiction of life.
Confessions of a Latter-Day Virgin is a thoughtful, emotional, relate-able read that is sure to please many readers.
jamiehandy's review
4.0
This is a quick read. I can't quite say I enjoyed it but I did think it was worth reading. If you have any single LDS women in your life I think it would open your eyes to their lonliness and how the mormon culture entirely fails them. I found myself feeling so sad for the author. Unable to find happiness for so long. Would be a great book for a book club. I was so glad that she finally just made a choice and embraced it. To me it didn't matter what she chose, she just needed to embrace it. Her life as an active Mormon single woman was all about having one foot in the door and one foot unsure what planet to even be on.
holly_keimig's review
4.0
A very interesting read. I learned things I did not previously know about the Latter Day Saints and their belief system. This read like a journal entry and it was obvious the story was a hard one for the author to tell. Its worth checking out. :)
paperbacksandpines's review
3.0
This book was not at all what I expected. First off, I have to say that I made the unfortunate error of listening to the audiobook on tape. I've listening to many audiobooks and the reader is always expressive and engaging. I was really surprised to learn that the author was the reader. She read in a monotone, emotionless voice. At one point in the book, she even read the words "punctuation mark" aloud, perhaps for artistic reasons. But it seemed ironic, given the lack of excitement in her reading.
I found her view on single women in the Mormon church, especially single women who "aged out" of the singles ward, to be a particularly devastating indictment of spinsterhood. She said "withdrawal is a survival tactic. Because if I can't get numb enough, can't withdraw far enough," she would go crazy.
While I don't necessarily agree about the decisions the author made as a result of her increasing disenchantment with her church, I sympathize with her growing frustration in not being accepted within the environment in which she was raised, which in her youth encompassed her entire worldview. For her, "art, history, and music," also with her created family, became her church.
As someone who was raised as a Christian, I saw many commonalities between the Mormon and Christian churches, although I would argue with her statement that Mormons are Christians. This book definitely had me thinking about it even after I was finished with hit. Overall, I liked the book for the most part, although I was saddened by the decisions she felt she had to make in order to have some happiness in her life.
I found her view on single women in the Mormon church, especially single women who "aged out" of the singles ward, to be a particularly devastating indictment of spinsterhood. She said "withdrawal is a survival tactic. Because if I can't get numb enough, can't withdraw far enough," she would go crazy.
While I don't necessarily agree about the decisions the author made as a result of her increasing disenchantment with her church, I sympathize with her growing frustration in not being accepted within the environment in which she was raised, which in her youth encompassed her entire worldview. For her, "art, history, and music," also with her created family, became her church.
As someone who was raised as a Christian, I saw many commonalities between the Mormon and Christian churches, although I would argue with her statement that Mormons are Christians. This book definitely had me thinking about it even after I was finished with hit. Overall, I liked the book for the most part, although I was saddened by the decisions she felt she had to make in order to have some happiness in her life.
makcar03's review
4.0
Confessions of a Latter Day Virgin tells the story of the author and her views of life, love, and the role of women within the Mormon church. The story starts with Nicole Hardy as a student at Brigham Young University (a Mormon college) and follows her for about fifteen years until she’s in her late thirties. She states that a woman in the Mormon church is meant to be a wife and mother, she can want other things as long as the she also wants to get married and to be a mom. According to the Mormon faith this is the ultimate need for all of its members (men as well) and if this feat isn’t achieved in life it will be given as a gift in Heaven to those worthy people who’ve gained the immortal kingdom. In college Hardy is presented with a different view of life through her English class, assigned a book by a Mormon author who stated that she doesn’t want kids. Before reading this book Hardy had never even thought this a possibility for her. Armed with this new information her life is changed forever. Hardy doesn’t feel that what the Mormon doctrine tells her she should want is right for her. Thus she embarks on her journey to find love, intimacy, and sex while still trying to fit into a religion that tells her she can’t be feeling what she does.
I really enjoyed this book. I thought it was an interesting subject and pretty well written. Due to the fact that this is a nonfiction book it’s not very suspenseful or gripping, but it’s good in different ways. Hardy writes about her personal self in a way that would be very hard for a lot of people. She’s very honest about her feelings and beliefs, and goes in depth about her sexual wants and needs. This book is about Hardy growing up and learning who she is as a woman and as a person. Her struggles with her faith and how it defined her in a way she didn’t want to be defined show her strength and integrity as a person. Hardy didn’t buckle and settle for something she didn’t want just to be able to fit in. As the title clearly says this is mostly about Hardy’s sexuality and dealing with that in the Mormon faith. Her experience in the faith is typical, a basically typical American life. She grew up happy and loved, went to college, and started a career. Since she is so religious and dedicated to her faith it’s even more interesting that she was able to speak so openly about her sexual desires. It was interesting to see how her deep religious beliefs effected her life in general and the relationships she was able to form through her religion and despite it. The subject matter is interspersed with bits of humor and some truly heartrending moments and makes for a good read.
I really enjoyed this book. I thought it was an interesting subject and pretty well written. Due to the fact that this is a nonfiction book it’s not very suspenseful or gripping, but it’s good in different ways. Hardy writes about her personal self in a way that would be very hard for a lot of people. She’s very honest about her feelings and beliefs, and goes in depth about her sexual wants and needs. This book is about Hardy growing up and learning who she is as a woman and as a person. Her struggles with her faith and how it defined her in a way she didn’t want to be defined show her strength and integrity as a person. Hardy didn’t buckle and settle for something she didn’t want just to be able to fit in. As the title clearly says this is mostly about Hardy’s sexuality and dealing with that in the Mormon faith. Her experience in the faith is typical, a basically typical American life. She grew up happy and loved, went to college, and started a career. Since she is so religious and dedicated to her faith it’s even more interesting that she was able to speak so openly about her sexual desires. It was interesting to see how her deep religious beliefs effected her life in general and the relationships she was able to form through her religion and despite it. The subject matter is interspersed with bits of humor and some truly heartrending moments and makes for a good read.
iveyleaguemama's review
3.0
I really wanted to love this book...but I got bogged down in it a few times and ended up glossing over some of it.
angelats's review
3.0
I thought her writing and descriptives/analogies were good. There were parts of it that were difficult for me to understand (literary wise) or was cumbersome to work through and understand her meaning. Since I am Mormon, I felt she did a somewhat adequate job explaining some of the religious beliefs to give the reader some background, however, I felt that to someone who may not fully understand "Mormon culture" they may consider her perspective to be the absolute truth of what it is like to be a single female Mormon (feeling pressured to marry and have kids is heavily based on individual experience and perception), rather than what this story is about,--her perspective on being a Mormon and deciding to leave. I definitely felt it had more depth than Elna Baker's story, but Ms. Baker's story had a little more comical nature to it. I definitely related to her feelings as I was in that atmosphere/same situation myself. It's interesting to read another person's account. Definitely gave me perspective.
feminist_mayhem's review
5.0
Fantastic & touching! Love the open vulnerability she writes with as she tells her tale of her sexuality and experiences with the LDS Church.
She said at one point in the book that she was afraid this may be the kind of story that shouldn't be shared... here's one reader who is grateful she did!
She said at one point in the book that she was afraid this may be the kind of story that shouldn't be shared... here's one reader who is grateful she did!
sarahbringhurstfamilia's review
4.0
This book is everything a memoir should be--funny, poignant, and devastatingly, intensely personal. I enjoyed it on two very different levels. First of all, it's a much-needed look at the big heartaches and little indignities of being single in a church that is very focused on marriage. I have many single Mormon (and formerly Mormon) friends who have told me stories very similar to the ones Nicole tells. I found this quote especially arresting:
“No prophet or apostle has lived a celibate life is what I'd like to tell her. No one who's ever told me celibacy is a viable option has ever been celibate. They don't even use the word. They say 'abstinent,' which implies there will be an end. They don't consider what my life will be like, if I never marry. Which is likely, given who I am, and the ways I'm different. People stand at the pulpit, or they come to my house, and tell me not to need what every human needs. Afterward, they go home and undress. They lie down next to the person they love most, or once did.”
On a different level, even as a happily married woman with two children, I related to Nicole's search for identity in a church whose idea of female identity can feel so prescribed and constricting as to be suffocating. Her attempts to see (and live) beyond the paradigm she had grown up with ring very true to me. Most anyone who has ever struggled to live in a way that feels individually authentic will enjoy this book.
“No prophet or apostle has lived a celibate life is what I'd like to tell her. No one who's ever told me celibacy is a viable option has ever been celibate. They don't even use the word. They say 'abstinent,' which implies there will be an end. They don't consider what my life will be like, if I never marry. Which is likely, given who I am, and the ways I'm different. People stand at the pulpit, or they come to my house, and tell me not to need what every human needs. Afterward, they go home and undress. They lie down next to the person they love most, or once did.”
On a different level, even as a happily married woman with two children, I related to Nicole's search for identity in a church whose idea of female identity can feel so prescribed and constricting as to be suffocating. Her attempts to see (and live) beyond the paradigm she had grown up with ring very true to me. Most anyone who has ever struggled to live in a way that feels individually authentic will enjoy this book.
kbratten's review
4.0
An easy, but very compelling read, for Mormons and non-Mormons alike. I had read Nicole's Modern Love article and just absolutely loved it. I appreciate that Nicole seems fair and honest in her criticisms of family and religion, and that she tempers the self-absorbed nature of the 'finding yourself' genre with genuine understanding that her problems were unique to her and though not life-absorbing, consumed enough of her emotional energy to be worth writing about.