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taleisin's review
5.0
From the first pages, I felt an instant kinship with Nicole. Her internal quest to reconcile her faith with an organized religion that does not seem to value, or even have a place for her, is one I also court with. Many of her frustrations are ones I share. The feeling that you're screaming but no one can hear you. While the title of this book made it awkward to discuss or carry in public, it couldn't put it down. It contained everything a good memoir should have: humour; emotion; and, in the end, something that provokes thought and inspires.
liralen's review
4.0
Men, in particular, are often faulted for their singlehood. Our leaders will stand at the pulpit and say, “If you are a young man of appropriate age and are not married, don’t waste your time in idle pursuits. Get on with life and focus on getting married…make your highest priority finding a worthy, eternal companion.” The implication is always the same: life is married life, when you’re LDS.
Single women, rather than being chastised, are reassured that since we’re not at fault for not having been chosen, we’ll be rewarded after death with marriage and children. Every time someone offers up this platitude, I bristle. I wonder if it helps anyone—the earnest assurance that everything will be better, once we’re dead. (112)I read roughly the first two thirds of this some time ago, then concluded (not for the first time) that I absolutely loathe reading on my phone, and gave up. By the time I found myself a hard copy, I'd forgotten enough to start at the beginning again, and I'm glad I did: this made me giggle out loud in a month when I've needed that; better, it made my mother laugh out loud and ask to read the book before I returned it to the library.
The Mormon part of Hardy's experience is one that I truly don't understand, but she has quite a lot of perspective on it—to say nothing of quite a lot of humour. Quite pleased with this one (and not only because it made my mum laugh).
karibaumann's review
4.0
I read this book with a growing sense of dread because I could sense what was coming. I wasn’t raised Mormon, but the messages that Nicole Hardy was sent about women are similar to those in evangelical Christian culture. So what is a smart single childless woman supposed to do when she is told that her worth in the church centers around the ideas of marriage and family (and, by extension, purity)? She leaves, of course. And what other choice did she have? It reminds me of times I have seen my friends realize that there’s no longer a place for them in the faith in which they were raised. Despite the dread, I enjoyed this book quite a bit, both because I don’t know much about Mormonism and because I saw myself and some of my friends in parts of her story. The shedding of the confining rules and acceptance of herself is beautiful to behold. Recommended for: people who were raised in purity culture, people interested in Mormonism, people with single friends in their 30s, people who are single in their 30s.
mollyringle's review
5.0
There is no one right way to be a woman. Or a man, for that matter. Not a revolutionary concept, right? But if you grew up in a religion where they prescribe a certain pattern of life to you (in this case, marriage and children, followed up by eternity in heaven together)--and remind you of it at every service and every get-together--you'd probably start thinking there was something wrong with you if your life didn't match this perfect ideal. That's exactly what Nicole Hardy ran up against, and illustrates beautifully, in this memoir.
While the book made me deeply angry with the Mormon church (and other religions that pound down their members in similar ways), I was impressed with how fairly she presents those of the LDS faith. After all, these are her family members, her childhood friends, her companions in most of life; and when we get to know them, we see they're respectable, loving, good-humored people, not at all the religious zombies some paint them to be. She does get a few seriously offensive, bigoted remarks (we've all met such people), but on the whole, she lets us see the humanity of everyone she encountered along this ride, Mormon or otherwise. While organized religion still irks me--and she shows plenty of good reasons why it might--I do admire her for showing such fairness.
As to the writing, I admire that even more. Nicole pulls off what must be one of the hardest tasks in memoir-writing: that is, telling the truth and being engaging while not coming across as self-obsessed or egotistical. In fact, her vulnerability and wry self-deprecating humor is totally endearing, and instantly relatable. For me, this book succeeds where 'Eat, Pray, Love' sometimes falls down: namely, Nicole's struggles with her faith and her love life struck me as much more real and formidable than Elizabeth Gilbert's did. But like Liz's, we do get tasty forays into world travel and some truly hilarious dating experiences, so the fun parts still measure up to that (in)famous other memoir.
I read this directly after one of Dan Savage's memoirs, and thought he might be a hard act to follow, but it turns out she surpassed him. Nicole's prose is especially lovely and poetic (which makes sense, given she's also a poet), and she excels at bringing alive the people she's met as well as the spectrum of feelings they inspired. Bravely done, Nicole! Seattle is proud to possess you!
While the book made me deeply angry with the Mormon church (and other religions that pound down their members in similar ways), I was impressed with how fairly she presents those of the LDS faith. After all, these are her family members, her childhood friends, her companions in most of life; and when we get to know them, we see they're respectable, loving, good-humored people, not at all the religious zombies some paint them to be. She does get a few seriously offensive, bigoted remarks (we've all met such people), but on the whole, she lets us see the humanity of everyone she encountered along this ride, Mormon or otherwise. While organized religion still irks me--and she shows plenty of good reasons why it might--I do admire her for showing such fairness.
As to the writing, I admire that even more. Nicole pulls off what must be one of the hardest tasks in memoir-writing: that is, telling the truth and being engaging while not coming across as self-obsessed or egotistical. In fact, her vulnerability and wry self-deprecating humor is totally endearing, and instantly relatable. For me, this book succeeds where 'Eat, Pray, Love' sometimes falls down: namely, Nicole's struggles with her faith and her love life struck me as much more real and formidable than Elizabeth Gilbert's did. But like Liz's, we do get tasty forays into world travel and some truly hilarious dating experiences, so the fun parts still measure up to that (in)famous other memoir.
I read this directly after one of Dan Savage's memoirs, and thought he might be a hard act to follow, but it turns out she surpassed him. Nicole's prose is especially lovely and poetic (which makes sense, given she's also a poet), and she excels at bringing alive the people she's met as well as the spectrum of feelings they inspired. Bravely done, Nicole! Seattle is proud to possess you!
caseybon's review
5.0
I had no idea going in that this book would somehow be so....relatable. The insight of a young and brilliant ex-mo on how she yearns to live draws you in and leaves you wishing, hoping, praying right alongside her. Whether she's sitting in temple or forty feet deep in the ocean, Nicole writes her story in a way that leaves you wanting more of her perspective on life, inside and outside the church. I found myself not necessarily waiting for her to have sex, but just wanting her to be satisfied by life itself.
honniker's review
emotional
informative
fast-paced
3.0
This was interesting book about a woman trying to reconcile her religion with her life. While I don't agree with her ultimate decision, my heart went out to her. I've been where she is in some respect and it makes me sad that Mormonism gives women one role.
jesabesblog's review
5.0
Hardy's writing made this book. Her story is very much worth reading, but I feel like it wouldn't have come through as well with a less skilled writer. I loved this.
thehlb's review
This was not a book I sought out. I spontaneously saw it on the new books shelf and the "Latter-Day" caught my eye.
To sum up: Sexually frustrated single Mormon Girl tries Salsa dancing and SCUBA diving.
Spoiler alert: She leaves the church and has sex.
It reminded me of Eat, Pray, Love but I didn't like it quite as well. It has all of the self-indulgent tone and almost none of the humor and charm.
I'm not giving it a star rating because I feel like if I did, it would be more of a rating of her life choices than her writing.
I'm sure her struggles with faith were very real. Singles in the church are not treated particularly well, and a lot of people say dumb things to them with their big fat mouths. But guess what? I'm a thirty-seven year old mother of four and people say dumb things to me with their big fat mouths too. It's not enough to write a memoir about.
To sum up: Sexually frustrated single Mormon Girl tries Salsa dancing and SCUBA diving.
Spoiler alert: She leaves the church and has sex.
It reminded me of Eat, Pray, Love but I didn't like it quite as well. It has all of the self-indulgent tone and almost none of the humor and charm.
I'm not giving it a star rating because I feel like if I did, it would be more of a rating of her life choices than her writing.
I'm sure her struggles with faith were very real. Singles in the church are not treated particularly well, and a lot of people say dumb things to them with their big fat mouths. But guess what? I'm a thirty-seven year old mother of four and people say dumb things to me with their big fat mouths too. It's not enough to write a memoir about.
elephant's review
5.0
Captivating, open, honest and real. This is a hearfelt memoir of a woman who grew up in the Mormon religion and was taught that a woman's goal in life should be to marry and have children. But, she wants more out of life than that. She wants to write and travel and she does not want to have children, which is seen as blasphemy by the Mormons. She chronicles her lifetime and her struggles with lust, believing the church's teachings that lust is wrong outside of marriage, her struggles with not wanting the life that her church taught was necessary for salvation, failed relationships with men and the freedom she enjoyed once she left the Mormon church. The book is well-written, intriguing, fascinating, sad and joyous and I thouroughly enjoyed it. I received this book free to review from Netgalley.