Take a photo of a barcode or cover
3.97 AVERAGE
3.97 AVERAGE
emotional
hopeful
reflective
slow-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Content Warnings
Graphic: Grief
Moderate: Ableism, Violence, Medical content, Death of parent, Injury/Injury detail
this was the type of book that makes time warp: you don’t even realize how much has passed because you’re so absorbed in it, until the world within its pages feels more real than the world that you actually occupy.
i highly recommend that you read this book, and here’s why:
it has both autism and disability rep (osteogenesis imperfecta, to be exact. basically, his bones break really easily.) i have neither, so i can’t speak from a place of knowledge that this representation was spot on. but i’ll admit that, as a reader, it (felt) immersive. the characters were the perfect place between flawed and perfect. they were lovable, and their pain felt like my pain. alvie’s autism is shown not only through the way she thinks and interacts with people, but also through her panic attacks and stimming.
there are several subplots tied in with the most gorgeous writing. we begin with alvie, a seventeen year old girl who is hoping for emancipation. she has a job at the zoo, which is perfect for her, because she relates more to animals than she does to other people. for the most part, she is alone. she finds it hard to communicate with others, and we have a lack of characters who truly understand her autism. instead, they label her as different and other. then, we are introduced to stanley: he is both a friend and a love interest, and he is more patient with and understanding of her than anyone else in her life has ever been. as a generally sex-repulsed asexual, i don’t typically enjoy mentions of sex within novels, but i appreciated the way that it was handled in this one.
this book is not just a love story, but an exploration of what it means to be different in a world that is so often harmful. it is a book about loving, and letting yourself be loved. it is a book about grief and loss and trauma and mental health. it is a book about sex and vulnerability and a one-winged hawk and rabbits. i recommend reading a list of the trigger warnings before reading it, but i thoroughly enjoyed this book. (it won a nutmeg book award, and i can see why. there should definitely be more fanfare about it on platforms such as this one, though!) it tore my heart to shreds and then gently glued it back together.
i highly recommend that you read this book, and here’s why:
it has both autism and disability rep (osteogenesis imperfecta, to be exact. basically, his bones break really easily.) i have neither, so i can’t speak from a place of knowledge that this representation was spot on. but i’ll admit that, as a reader, it (felt) immersive. the characters were the perfect place between flawed and perfect. they were lovable, and their pain felt like my pain. alvie’s autism is shown not only through the way she thinks and interacts with people, but also through her panic attacks and stimming.
there are several subplots tied in with the most gorgeous writing. we begin with alvie, a seventeen year old girl who is hoping for emancipation. she has a job at the zoo, which is perfect for her, because she relates more to animals than she does to other people. for the most part, she is alone. she finds it hard to communicate with others, and we have a lack of characters who truly understand her autism. instead, they label her as different and other. then, we are introduced to stanley: he is both a friend and a love interest, and he is more patient with and understanding of her than anyone else in her life has ever been. as a generally sex-repulsed asexual, i don’t typically enjoy mentions of sex within novels, but i appreciated the way that it was handled in this one.
this book is not just a love story, but an exploration of what it means to be different in a world that is so often harmful. it is a book about loving, and letting yourself be loved. it is a book about grief and loss and trauma and mental health. it is a book about sex and vulnerability and a one-winged hawk and rabbits. i recommend reading a list of the trigger warnings before reading it, but i thoroughly enjoyed this book. (it won a nutmeg book award, and i can see why. there should definitely be more fanfare about it on platforms such as this one, though!) it tore my heart to shreds and then gently glued it back together.
I am not a part of the autism community nor can I comment about Stanley's disability, but I thought both characters were well-rounded and not just a collection of stereotypes about their individual conditions. Each character has agency and expresses a range of emotions. The romance is painful and heartbreaking but beautiful and believable.
I really liked this book.
- I loved learning about Asperger's Syndrome since I actually didn't know anything about if before I read WMHJTT so that was nice. I really liked Alvie and thought that she had a great narration.
- Stanley was so beautifully amazing. He is so supportive of Alvie and is helpful. He tries to resolve conflict instead of walking away from it which is SO rare in ya fiction. I'm really frustrated at how many characters will argue and then avoid each other and refuse to hear the other person out. Honestly, it isn't helpful at all to either party.
- I loved how Alvie thought that her mother and everything was her own fault. It was awesomely new how she had such a messed up perspective of what love was because of the way that her mother portrayed it to her, but also super awesome that she was able to fix that view with Stanley's help.
- I can't remember what Stanley's bone condition is called, but it was so sad to read about. He has so many scars and has been in the hospital more times than any person should have to. It was really sad to read about his pain, but it made me love him more.
- I loved how Alvie and Stanley are in super similar situations but in different ways. Alvie's Dad left and her mother died, leaving her on her own. Stanley's mother has just passed away and his father also left and doesn't speak to him anymore. Alvie has Asperger's and thinks that she is broken because of it and Stanley's body is literally broken. So they were able to connect on those levels, but also their personalities just matched up perfectly. Stanley was always so calm and never put off when Alvie was in a meltdown or acted strangely.
- I also thought it was interesting and awesome how Stanley and Alvie talk about their future together a lot which is very rare in YA. Relationships are just treated more as temporary things, but Alvie literally made a "when we have kids" statement which was so cute to read, but also awesome that they believe that their love will make it to a point where they will have kids together. That never happens in YA and I am so glad.
- I loved how when it seems like Alvie has got everything together finally, she starts losing control.
Small list of things that bothered me:
- I feel like it wasn't super clear on whether Alvie is schizophrenic or not. I know that one doctor brought it up, but it was never denied or confirmed. It seems like it could be a possibility, and maybe the author wanted to leave that open or I missed something, but I was hoping for a little bit more clarification for that.
- I also thought that the book was a little bit too sexual at times for it to be a YA book. Maybe it's just a personal preference, but I'm one of those people who prefers less detail when it comes to that kind of stuff.
- This book was just filled with a whole bunch of things that I have never/rarely see in Ya which was refreshing and gave me hope that this genre isn't completely worn out just yet.
- I loved learning about Asperger's Syndrome since I actually didn't know anything about if before I read WMHJTT so that was nice. I really liked Alvie and thought that she had a great narration.
- Stanley was so beautifully amazing. He is so supportive of Alvie and is helpful. He tries to resolve conflict instead of walking away from it which is SO rare in ya fiction. I'm really frustrated at how many characters will argue and then avoid each other and refuse to hear the other person out. Honestly, it isn't helpful at all to either party.
- I loved how Alvie thought that her mother and everything was her own fault. It was awesomely new how she had such a messed up perspective of what love was because of the way that her mother portrayed it to her, but also super awesome that she was able to fix that view with Stanley's help.
- I can't remember what Stanley's bone condition is called, but it was so sad to read about. He has so many scars and has been in the hospital more times than any person should have to. It was really sad to read about his pain, but it made me love him more.
- I loved how Alvie and Stanley are in super similar situations but in different ways. Alvie's Dad left and her mother died, leaving her on her own. Stanley's mother has just passed away and his father also left and doesn't speak to him anymore. Alvie has Asperger's and thinks that she is broken because of it and Stanley's body is literally broken. So they were able to connect on those levels, but also their personalities just matched up perfectly. Stanley was always so calm and never put off when Alvie was in a meltdown or acted strangely.
- I also thought it was interesting and awesome how Stanley and Alvie talk about their future together a lot which is very rare in YA. Relationships are just treated more as temporary things, but Alvie literally made a "when we have kids" statement which was so cute to read, but also awesome that they believe that their love will make it to a point where they will have kids together. That never happens in YA and I am so glad.
- I loved how when it seems like Alvie has got everything together finally, she starts losing control.
Spoiler
Literally just days after she becomes an 'adult', she loses her job and gets evicted out of her apartment and then becomes homeless. It was so sad to read about and totally new for the YA genre. Sure, there are lots of characters who reach really low lows, but this was so different. I don't think I have ever read or even heard about a book where there is a character who even comes close to being homeless or losing something so basic as a house to live in. Luckily, Stanley was still there for Alvie after the whole thing.Small list of things that bothered me:
- I feel like it wasn't super clear on whether Alvie is schizophrenic or not. I know that one doctor brought it up, but it was never denied or confirmed. It seems like it could be a possibility, and maybe the author wanted to leave that open or I missed something, but I was hoping for a little bit more clarification for that.
- I also thought that the book was a little bit too sexual at times for it to be a YA book. Maybe it's just a personal preference, but I'm one of those people who prefers less detail when it comes to that kind of stuff.
- This book was just filled with a whole bunch of things that I have never/rarely see in Ya which was refreshing and gave me hope that this genre isn't completely worn out just yet.
This book was different and frank and honest and I really enjoyed it! Such a great read!
emotional
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Yes
Flaws of characters a main focus:
No
I want to preface this review by saying that I am not autistic, not do I have the disability that Stanley suffers from, and I can only speak as an outsider looking in; however, any and all own-voice opinions and reviews would be welcomed and I would be happy to boost your review if you DM me or drop me a comment!
Going into a book with a romance between an autistic MC and her disabled love interest is the sort of thing that makes me feel very wary – will it be good, authentic rep? Will these characters be painted positively? Will I find myself knee-deep in tropes and cheap shots? Again, while I can’t speak from experience, I found myself feeling really pleased by the rep in this book and the way issues were handled. There were so many potential tropes that the author cleanly subverted, and I was so invested in this story and these characters that I genuinely did not want it to end.
As a child, Alvie was diagnosed with Asperger’s, and was told that she had to “get better”, or she would never get anywhere in life. Now, she’s 17 years old and determined to prove the world wrong, and wow, is she fierce. Her commitment to taking care of herself would be noble enough in any teen, but for her, the stakes are so much higher, and her fear of being put into a group home broke my heart. In fact, it was the very first thing in this story that was eye-opening for me: empathizing with the thought that someone could be threatened with having their freedoms taken away from them, just because they don’t interact with the world in what we’ve deemed as “socially acceptable”.
Despite the fact that so much of the story is heavy, focusing on Alvie’s determination to simply survive through each day, her commentary on the world around her is refreshing and, often, really mood-lifting. She loves animals dearly and has some particularly wide words on nature as a whole, but also, she manages to point out how people, in their day-to-day lives, do so many strange or unnecessary things – whose authority was it to deem them as “normal”?
More than anything, though, I loved how kind Alvie is. She is so concerned with the world around her, and though she doesn’t always know how to express them, her intentions are always in the right place. Especially when she meets Stanley, the young man with the cane who comes to visit her park everyday. As she grows to know and care for him, Alvie cares more about his well-being than anything else, and she blooms into this incredibly loving and nurturing young woman, even when it means sacrificing her own happiness.
If you asked me to choose who I loved more between Alvie and Stanley, to be honest, I don’t think I could. He matches Alvie’s compassion, but he’s terrified of not being “enough” – of being unable to protect her, or to be her equal, due to his own disability and mental health. Not only does he suffer from a condition called osteogenesis imperfecta – or, as he says, “a fancy way of saying my bones break easily” – but we also learn that familial abuse has given him terrible PTSD. We’ll come back to that in a moment, but it leads me to my next point:
This story focuses on an incredible amount of sex, and the way that it is handled made me want to cry tears of joy, because it is absolutely the kind of rep that we need in YA/NA books. There is a tremendous amount of talk surrounding consent (especially due to Alvie’s touch aversions and sensitivity to stimulus), and the characters are unafraid to sit down and talk about what is or isn’t comfortable for them. There’s a lot of sex positivity regarding one night stands and casual sex, but there’s also mention of how emotional sex can be between two individuals who care deeply for one another.
Both characters are virgins, and there are conversations about how terrifying that first time can be, or how toxic masculinity affects young men who don’t have sex immediately after puberty. There’s just so much important content about sex in this book, including the fact that, in this m/f couple, the guy is the one who’s “not ready”, and the girl is the one who has to tamp down her carnal desires and be patient. I just loved their whole relationship so much, for so many reasons, that I couldn’t even list them all here.
Finally, the last major topic Steiger addresses: abuse, in many different forms, as well as the guilt that can come with being an autistic or disabled individual with loved ones who don’t share your struggles. There is a lot of talk about feeling like a burden, or feeling “not good enough”, and Alvie shares a few flashbacks to painful moments and things her mother said to her, as well as an incredibly traumatic experience her mother put her through as a preteen. Despite all of these focuses on the negative outcomes of Alvie and Stanley’s respective family problems, the theme throughout the book remains the same: it should never be an autistic, mentally ill, or disabled person’s responsibility to feel guilty, useless, or broken. Instead, it should be society’s responsibility to learn how to offer compassion, empathy, accessibility, and understanding.
When My Heart Joins the Thousand isn’t your typical contemporary, and these aren’t your typical YA characters. This story is so unique, and so precious, and so heavy, and so special. I am so, so happy to have had the opportunity to read it, and I sincerely hope that Steiger writes more important work like this in the future.
Content warnings: ableism, PTSD, mental illness, assault, suicide, abuse, homophobia.
All quotes are taken from an unfinished ARC and may differ from the finished product. Thank you so much to HarperTeen for granted me this ARC in exchange for my honest review.
Why did everyone act like it was my fault when the other kids bullied me? Why was I always the one who had to change?
Going into a book with a romance between an autistic MC and her disabled love interest is the sort of thing that makes me feel very wary – will it be good, authentic rep? Will these characters be painted positively? Will I find myself knee-deep in tropes and cheap shots? Again, while I can’t speak from experience, I found myself feeling really pleased by the rep in this book and the way issues were handled. There were so many potential tropes that the author cleanly subverted, and I was so invested in this story and these characters that I genuinely did not want it to end.
Happiness is not a priority. Survival is. Staying sane is. Pointing out that I’m not happy is like pointing out to a starving homeless man that he doesn’t have a sensible retirement plan. It might be true, but it’s entirely beside the point.
As a child, Alvie was diagnosed with Asperger’s, and was told that she had to “get better”, or she would never get anywhere in life. Now, she’s 17 years old and determined to prove the world wrong, and wow, is she fierce. Her commitment to taking care of herself would be noble enough in any teen, but for her, the stakes are so much higher, and her fear of being put into a group home broke my heart. In fact, it was the very first thing in this story that was eye-opening for me: empathizing with the thought that someone could be threatened with having their freedoms taken away from them, just because they don’t interact with the world in what we’ve deemed as “socially acceptable”.
Technically my condition doesn’t even exist anymore; if I ever go back to the doctor, they’ll presumably have to find some other label to stick on me. The specific words don’t matter. I’ll always be this way.
Despite the fact that so much of the story is heavy, focusing on Alvie’s determination to simply survive through each day, her commentary on the world around her is refreshing and, often, really mood-lifting. She loves animals dearly and has some particularly wide words on nature as a whole, but also, she manages to point out how people, in their day-to-day lives, do so many strange or unnecessary things – whose authority was it to deem them as “normal”?
The idea that autistic people don’t feel compassion is just an ugly stereotype, but it’s a viewpoint I’ve encountered even from some professionals, despite obvious evidence to the contrary.
More than anything, though, I loved how kind Alvie is. She is so concerned with the world around her, and though she doesn’t always know how to express them, her intentions are always in the right place. Especially when she meets Stanley, the young man with the cane who comes to visit her park everyday. As she grows to know and care for him, Alvie cares more about his well-being than anything else, and she blooms into this incredibly loving and nurturing young woman, even when it means sacrificing her own happiness.
Nothing about me is easy.
If you asked me to choose who I loved more between Alvie and Stanley, to be honest, I don’t think I could. He matches Alvie’s compassion, but he’s terrified of not being “enough” – of being unable to protect her, or to be her equal, due to his own disability and mental health. Not only does he suffer from a condition called osteogenesis imperfecta – or, as he says, “a fancy way of saying my bones break easily” – but we also learn that familial abuse has given him terrible PTSD. We’ll come back to that in a moment, but it leads me to my next point:
Does he assume that just because I’m different, I’m incapable of having a sexual relationship with anyone? That I’m unable even to feel desire?
This story focuses on an incredible amount of sex, and the way that it is handled made me want to cry tears of joy, because it is absolutely the kind of rep that we need in YA/NA books. There is a tremendous amount of talk surrounding consent (especially due to Alvie’s touch aversions and sensitivity to stimulus), and the characters are unafraid to sit down and talk about what is or isn’t comfortable for them. There’s a lot of sex positivity regarding one night stands and casual sex, but there’s also mention of how emotional sex can be between two individuals who care deeply for one another.
Both characters are virgins, and there are conversations about how terrifying that first time can be, or how toxic masculinity affects young men who don’t have sex immediately after puberty. There’s just so much important content about sex in this book, including the fact that, in this m/f couple, the guy is the one who’s “not ready”, and the girl is the one who has to tamp down her carnal desires and be patient. I just loved their whole relationship so much, for so many reasons, that I couldn’t even list them all here.
“When the ones who hurt you are the people who love you most… no one ever tells you how you’re supposed to deal with that.”
Finally, the last major topic Steiger addresses: abuse, in many different forms, as well as the guilt that can come with being an autistic or disabled individual with loved ones who don’t share your struggles. There is a lot of talk about feeling like a burden, or feeling “not good enough”, and Alvie shares a few flashbacks to painful moments and things her mother said to her, as well as an incredibly traumatic experience her mother put her through as a preteen. Despite all of these focuses on the negative outcomes of Alvie and Stanley’s respective family problems, the theme throughout the book remains the same: it should never be an autistic, mentally ill, or disabled person’s responsibility to feel guilty, useless, or broken. Instead, it should be society’s responsibility to learn how to offer compassion, empathy, accessibility, and understanding.
When My Heart Joins the Thousand isn’t your typical contemporary, and these aren’t your typical YA characters. This story is so unique, and so precious, and so heavy, and so special. I am so, so happy to have had the opportunity to read it, and I sincerely hope that Steiger writes more important work like this in the future.
Content warnings: ableism, PTSD, mental illness, assault, suicide, abuse, homophobia.
All quotes are taken from an unfinished ARC and may differ from the finished product. Thank you so much to HarperTeen for granted me this ARC in exchange for my honest review.
Some great Asperger’s and anxiety representation as well as what it’s like to live with a physical disability.
The story itself was kind of slow but the really focus anyways is the characters, Alvie and Stanley.
Alvie is living by herself and is trying to become emancipated. Which leads her to try and prove that she can be more “normal” and be self-sufficient so that she live alone in peace. She meets Stanley, who has Osteogenesis imperfecta, (meaning his bones break very easily). Stanley is super sweet and is one of the very few people in her life who understands her and doesn’t make her feel bad about the way she is.
It was really rough reading how cruel people were to Alvie growing up and even presently. She’s made very aware of how different she is in hurtful ways. Even in flashbacks it’s shown how Alvie felt like her true self wasn’t being seen by her mother, who while she loved her, was still trying to look for the “real” Alvie. She was basically forced to go on medication even though she hated the effects of it.
So to have that positive dynamic between her and Stanley was very heartening to see. And that dynamic worked both ways. Stanley has a physical disability and has had so many surgeries that make him self-conscious about his body. But Alvie is straightforward and honest and doesn’t care about any of that. She finds him attractive says it plainly to his face.
I thought this book was really great in its mental health representation and didn’t try to romanticize it but also didn’t try to show Alvie as some poor, weak person because she had Asperger’s. Yes, she had Asperger’s, but that doesn’t make her any less of a person.
The story itself was kind of slow but the really focus anyways is the characters, Alvie and Stanley.
Alvie is living by herself and is trying to become emancipated. Which leads her to try and prove that she can be more “normal” and be self-sufficient so that she live alone in peace. She meets Stanley, who has Osteogenesis imperfecta, (meaning his bones break very easily). Stanley is super sweet and is one of the very few people in her life who understands her and doesn’t make her feel bad about the way she is.
It was really rough reading how cruel people were to Alvie growing up and even presently. She’s made very aware of how different she is in hurtful ways. Even in flashbacks it’s shown how Alvie felt like her true self wasn’t being seen by her mother, who while she loved her, was still trying to look for the “real” Alvie. She was basically forced to go on medication even though she hated the effects of it.
So to have that positive dynamic between her and Stanley was very heartening to see. And that dynamic worked both ways. Stanley has a physical disability and has had so many surgeries that make him self-conscious about his body. But Alvie is straightforward and honest and doesn’t care about any of that. She finds him attractive says it plainly to his face.
I thought this book was really great in its mental health representation and didn’t try to romanticize it but also didn’t try to show Alvie as some poor, weak person because she had Asperger’s. Yes, she had Asperger’s, but that doesn’t make her any less of a person.
medium-paced
Plot or Character Driven:
Character
Strong character development:
Yes
Loveable characters:
Yes
Diverse cast of characters:
Complicated
Flaws of characters a main focus:
Yes
Heartwrenching. It’s a book about love, independence, and being different.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Panic attacks/disorders, Suicide, Medical content, Medical trauma
Moderate: Bullying, Child abuse, Mental illness, Sexual content, Forced institutionalization, Car accident, Death of parent, Injury/Injury detail
Minor: Schizophrenia/Psychosis
emotional