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Reviews tagging 'Mental illness'
Dieser Schmerz ist nicht meiner: Wie wir uns mit dem seelischen Erbe unserer Familie aussöhnen by Mark Wolynn
2 reviews
katharina90's review against another edition
reflective
medium-paced
2.5
This is a pseudoscience book that's best consumed with a healthy dose of critical thinking. Take what serves, leave the rest.
Some bits resonated and rang true for me. At other times I found the conclusions far-fetched or too simplistic, and the suggestions unhelpful.
While I believe in inherited family trauma, the ways in which trauma has been carried down in my family doesn't line up neatly with what's described in this book.
The author pushes repeatedly for a repair of strained/broken child-parent relationships which I don't think is always possible or helpful. It may even result in further harm if the parent isn't able or willing to address their own trauma and be accountable for the harm they themselves have caused.
However, if we interpret healing as finding peace and acceptance independent of our interpersonal relationship with our parent, I think there is a lot of value to be found.
Interrupting the cycle of trauma by healing yourself, accepting your parents' limitations, and adjusting your expectations and boundaries accordingly seems like a healthy path forward.
A guiding question that stood out to me in that context is:
"Can you stay open in your body when you think of them?"
Another takeaway was to use lessons learned to help break the cycle: "Can you receive something good from what they gave you?" A parent's cruelty could become the reason for your kindess.
Some bits resonated and rang true for me. At other times I found the conclusions far-fetched or too simplistic, and the suggestions unhelpful.
While I believe in inherited family trauma, the ways in which trauma has been carried down in my family doesn't line up neatly with what's described in this book.
The author pushes repeatedly for a repair of strained/broken child-parent relationships which I don't think is always possible or helpful. It may even result in further harm if the parent isn't able or willing to address their own trauma and be accountable for the harm they themselves have caused.
However, if we interpret healing as finding peace and acceptance independent of our interpersonal relationship with our parent, I think there is a lot of value to be found.
Interrupting the cycle of trauma by healing yourself, accepting your parents' limitations, and adjusting your expectations and boundaries accordingly seems like a healthy path forward.
A guiding question that stood out to me in that context is:
"Can you stay open in your body when you think of them?"
Another takeaway was to use lessons learned to help break the cycle: "Can you receive something good from what they gave you?" A parent's cruelty could become the reason for your kindess.
Content Warnings
Moderate: Death, Genocide, Mental illness, Child death, and Suicidal thoughts
lookingforwonder's review against another edition
challenging
emotional
hopeful
reflective
medium-paced
2.5
The first couple of chapters are very informative when it comes to inherited trauma. The rest of it is more of a self-help book. I had anticipated more scientific background, but the book often comes out more Freudian and there's no studies to back up his suggestions of how to help people with inherited trauma. And the author's claim that "psychopaths" (which is already a loaded term mental health professionals shouldn't be using) are created by parental neglect has been debunked. This made me question the first two chapters I'd thought were well-researched. Still, some of the self-reflection questions may help people and it does have some interesting research included on inherited trauma. The author shares his client's stories (with their permission and detailed altered) which deal with family trauma and the subsequent result of how it affected the client. These stories include various kinds of trauma, told in passing more than graphic. I've labelled the ones I've remembered, but I'm sure I'm missing a few.
Content Warnings
Minor: Genocide, Addiction, Alcoholism, Antisemitism, Chronic illness, Death, Death of parent, Grief, Mental illness, and Suicidal thoughts
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