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1.04k reviews for:
Hola Papi: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons
John Paul Brammer
4.06 AVERAGE
1.04k reviews for:
Hola Papi: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons
John Paul Brammer
4.06 AVERAGE
" I don't think it's 'nothing' that we're mourning when it comes to our 'almost relationships', Passing. I think it's fine, healthy, even, to formalize our goodbyes to mere possibilities-to things that could have happened, might have happened, the hopes and expectations and flights of fancy. It's fine to want things. It's fine to bid them farewell."
This was a book where I was drawn in by the cover as I was stalking Netgalley. I expected this to be a guileless, airy, unsubstantial memoir of a Mexican-American gay man's adventures as he leaves behind rural Oklahoma for New York. I have never heard of the Hola Papi advice column, so I went into this pretty blind. It was surprisingly introspective, thoughtful, and well written. Brammer covers a slew of topics from trying to fit in as a Mexican American with little sense of heritage, to his experiences with the gay dating scene, to accepting past versions of yourself, even if they make you cringe in retrospect. I did think some of the essays were a little disjointed and a touch naïve for my taste (but that's a personal view). I thought he came across as really young and lacked a bit of gravitas I was looking for. A quick read that reminded me vaguely of [b:The Groom Will Keep His Name: And Other Vows I've Made About Race, Resistance, and Romance|52595434|The Groom Will Keep His Name And Other Vows I've Made About Race, Resistance, and Romance|Matt Ortile|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1571696630l/52595434._SY75_.jpg|73674654].
2.5 stars.
Thanks to Netgalley for an ARC of this in exchange for an honest review.
2.5 stars.
Thanks to Netgalley for an ARC of this in exchange for an honest review.
3.5 — definitely well-written and an interesting anthology of the author’s experiences!
After receiving new information regarding how the Goodreads algorithm works and how it can punish authors if they drop below 5 stars, I am only rating on a 5 or 1 scale now until it's fixed and there's room for nuanced discussion and reviews.
More information:
https://twitter.com/KitEverlasting/status/1734049836981219732?t=qmvlLkJyknfEMR5F8OIDjw&s=19
More information:
https://twitter.com/KitEverlasting/status/1734049836981219732?t=qmvlLkJyknfEMR5F8OIDjw&s=19
I liked this book, and the author’s voice. Beautiful writing. I kept comparing his style to Dear Sugar, though, and I don’t think it was as powerful for me. Maybe because I’m a straight white woman, so Sugar’s meandery, experiential advice resonates more with my own experiences. I couldn’t always trace the “point” of his stories to the questions and had to repeatedly go back to read them.
Started awhile ago and just finished. The final essays felt a lot stronger. 3.5-4 stars.
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
fast-paced
emotional
funny
reflective
fast-paced
I really enjoyed this book! John Paul Brammer wrote this book with such wit, pathos, and humor that I flew through it so quickly. I found myself highlighting many pats of the books when he made some deeply profound statements about trauma, love, relationships, identity and work. I have never seen his column before, but I can say that his advice would be something I would pay attention to. The structure of the questions juxtaposed with fun and sometimes dark stories of his life was wonderful. Sometimes I was so immersed in his little essays I had to flip back to remember what was asked, because honestly he answered a million other questions I have about life in just the same essay. I think my favorites were the one about childhood bullying, refining his identity as a Chicano, and finding the "one".
The childhood bullying essay he didn't flinch away. He was painfully honest, which was a good way to start this collection of essays and I felt his honesty and understood his psyche right away. The quote I pulled that could apply to people experiencing trauma in any way is: "Trauma is always trying to convince us that we are beings trapped in amber, defined by the static, unchangeable events of our lives. But that's not the case. The worst things that have ever happened to us don't define us. We are the ones who get to define what those things mean. I hope the next time you revisit the mosaic of your life, Damaged, you take the time to tilt your head. You might find something new."
A quote from the essay on finding his Chicano identity, another honest, raw, and funny essay, is: "Maybe there's a way to draw from both: to recognize that we are unknowable beings that exist beyond language, and to recognize that we must at times simply decide what we are and keep it moving if we are to move forward at all."
Lastly, from the "one" essay, "I think there are simply important people in our lives. They don't always stay important. They don't always stick around. But the point at which we meet them, the point on the grid where our lives intersect, is a sacred thing. It makes them "the one" in that moment; just because that moment ends, it doesn't mean it's any less special."
I include these quotes to demonstrate Brammer's poetic writing and empathy that wove throughout this book. I would recommend this book to anyone looking for both a light and emotional (they tangle together perfectly here) read. Brammer's voice and further work will be something I will be looking out for.
The childhood bullying essay he didn't flinch away. He was painfully honest, which was a good way to start this collection of essays and I felt his honesty and understood his psyche right away. The quote I pulled that could apply to people experiencing trauma in any way is: "Trauma is always trying to convince us that we are beings trapped in amber, defined by the static, unchangeable events of our lives. But that's not the case. The worst things that have ever happened to us don't define us. We are the ones who get to define what those things mean. I hope the next time you revisit the mosaic of your life, Damaged, you take the time to tilt your head. You might find something new."
A quote from the essay on finding his Chicano identity, another honest, raw, and funny essay, is: "Maybe there's a way to draw from both: to recognize that we are unknowable beings that exist beyond language, and to recognize that we must at times simply decide what we are and keep it moving if we are to move forward at all."
Lastly, from the "one" essay, "I think there are simply important people in our lives. They don't always stay important. They don't always stick around. But the point at which we meet them, the point on the grid where our lives intersect, is a sacred thing. It makes them "the one" in that moment; just because that moment ends, it doesn't mean it's any less special."
I include these quotes to demonstrate Brammer's poetic writing and empathy that wove throughout this book. I would recommend this book to anyone looking for both a light and emotional (they tangle together perfectly here) read. Brammer's voice and further work will be something I will be looking out for.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Bullying, Homophobia, Racism
This book is for anyone who has reflected on their unique place in the world and where they grew up to shape them today
I stopped rating memoirs because it felt strange and self-important and judgy to do so. But I loved this book—he writes with tenderness, vulnerability, and compassion, weaving humor into his stories as he finds joy in life. Endearing and helpful. I love that he truly seems to want to be an encouragement to others who may feel alone as they wrestle through life.