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3.68 AVERAGE
3.68 AVERAGE
ARC kindly provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.
Raw. Heart-breaking. realistic and honest.
This book broke my heart. It showed so honestly the hardships homosexual people go through just to exist in a world that treats them like a disease. I was witness to extreme homophobia that purely put me off as I read the book. It was difficult to see, through the book, how cruel people can be.
Will Tanner has known his sexual identity since he was a teenager. He tried to hide it, but he can no longer deny it when his best friend North calls him out on it. North & Will have been very close friends. They share everything, but their relationship is forever altered when North decides to experiment with Will. But Will's feelings for North aren't just a game to him.
Their secret and very brief affair destroyed their friendship. North's fear of his true feelings clashed with Will's total honesty and so, they broke each others' hearts.
They fall apart. They've had no actual contact for twelve years.
North was my childhood. My first love. But he's nothing to me now. We're nothing. We stopped freefalling, and now we're standing still.
When North decides to push himself back into Will's life, he will realize that Will isn't as he once as. He is a man who is not afraid to admit who he is. He is a guy who doesn't fear what others think of him. He is a person who allows others to see him for what he really is and he doesn't make excuses for being who he is.
North is the exact opposite. He fears the town's gossip. He fears being labelled as gay. He doesn't want anyone to know that deep down Will is what he wants. Will's lifestyle terrifies him and so, he hides behind a totally weak relationship with a woman while giving Will total whiplash with his behavior.
North is heartbreak. North is a mindfuck. North has been my whole world. He was no good for me then, and he's still no good for me. I know that and yet I've never wanted anything more.
...because when he looks at me he doesn't see a man who loves him-he sees a man who has the potential to destroy the facade he has so carefully built. Instead of a feature, he sees his ruin. ~Will
Will their tremulous relationship ever evolve?
What I liked about this book is that it didn't waste itself on details about their past and North's traumatic childhood. I loved how the author put us inside the heads of the two heroes and showed us, instead of telling us, what had been imprinted on them by their families. We were witnesses of North's difficult childhood through the thoughts of the man he is now.
I loved Mr. Tanner's easygoing behavior and support towards his son. It was a reflection of Will's confidence and bravery. It made it easy to udnerstand how Will was able to embrace his identity and live his life instead of simply existing as a minority in the town of Red Maine.
I despised North's father and the cloud of fear that his son was constantly forced to bathe in. North was bullied into staying away from his only true friend and love. It was beaten into him. I found his way of ridding himself of all that prejudice utterly realistic and honest. North proved himself to me as the story unfolded.
The secondary characters were fantastic! I loved Josh, Will's friend. He helped a lot in my opinion.
This was the best M/M romance I've read this year so far! I simply inhaled the book. If you love the genre, please read this.
★★★5 Stars from me★★★
This book lost momentum the more it progressed, in my opinion. I liked it at first, and pretty much as soon as North and Will started hooking up again, I just gradually became less interested in the story.
Let's take a minute or ten to appreciate the cover.
Now. The heart of this story is serious. We are invited to a small town in Australia called Red Maine. This town could be anywhere in the world because, unfortunately, it still is a placeholder for what goes on in narrow-minded people.
Meet Will Tanner and North Underwood. Will has been an openly gay guy since his teenage years. In this small town you are judged, sentenced and ostracized for being what is deemed not normal. He has been living with the knowledge for a long time and while he isn't OK with it he has learned to live with homophobic people. Sarcasm is his defense against bigotry.
North likes women. A lot of them. Half of the town's women. But. He has a dirty secret called Will Tanner. North and Will used to be best friends but that summer with Will twelve years ago left both of them destroyed. Enter an abusive father and they went separate ways.
Neither of them has forgotten what they were like and Will's chip on his shoulder is as big as the whole continent of Australia. North killed him when he walked away. What he doesn't know is that it killed North too.
This story isn't about putting labels on a relationship. It's about love and finding out who you are. And not giving a damn what people think about you - because at the end of the day you need to be able to look into your own eyes and and say that you didn't betray yourself or anything you believe in.
The beauty of this story is that they both grow, how Will learns to forgive and North how to conquer his fears.
It's the journey of two men who have been in love with each other their whole lives and about learning to own up to it and letting go of hurt and anger. It is not about North admitting that he is gay - it is about him admitting and embracing his love for his childhood friend. And we are invited to join them. On the journey we learn what made them fall apart and why North turned his back on Will (and believe you me, it's a revelation and to me it had little to do with cowardice).
The sexy times are steamy and frequent (but don't distract from the story) and I quote my friend Jen here: "Why do gay guys have the hottest sex?"
It was my first Carmen Jenner book and I absolutely adore her writing style. The scarcasm, the snark, the emotion. Not my last one, I swear, not my last Carmen Jenner book.
My Review @ Coffee, Cookies and Books
Now. The heart of this story is serious. We are invited to a small town in Australia called Red Maine. This town could be anywhere in the world because, unfortunately, it still is a placeholder for what goes on in narrow-minded people.
Meet Will Tanner and North Underwood. Will has been an openly gay guy since his teenage years. In this small town you are judged, sentenced and ostracized for being what is deemed not normal. He has been living with the knowledge for a long time and while he isn't OK with it he has learned to live with homophobic people. Sarcasm is his defense against bigotry.
North likes women. A lot of them. Half of the town's women. But. He has a dirty secret called Will Tanner. North and Will used to be best friends but that summer with Will twelve years ago left both of them destroyed. Enter an abusive father and they went separate ways.
"Once, North tore my whole world apart. I promised myself I'd never fall again. Turns out I lied.
Neither of them has forgotten what they were like and Will's chip on his shoulder is as big as the whole continent of Australia. North killed him when he walked away. What he doesn't know is that it killed North too.
"....because we're not friends. Not anymore. And though I maybe be the only person in the entire world he can talk to, instead he swallows it all back like the licqor in his glass, and I grow tired of trying to find North in all that he won't say."
This story isn't about putting labels on a relationship. It's about love and finding out who you are. And not giving a damn what people think about you - because at the end of the day you need to be able to look into your own eyes and and say that you didn't betray yourself or anything you believe in.
"You can't control what people think of you, North. You don't get a say in what makes them tick, in what they're okay with and what they aren't. That's beyond even your capabilities. The thing you do have a say in is whether you're ok with you."
The beauty of this story is that they both grow, how Will learns to forgive and North how to conquer his fears.
"The fear, a blackness that roils constantly in my belly, threatens to overcome me and all I want to do is sink to my knees and sob. Instead, I fall into Will, and I find it's a pretty soft place to land."
It's the journey of two men who have been in love with each other their whole lives and about learning to own up to it and letting go of hurt and anger. It is not about North admitting that he is gay - it is about him admitting and embracing his love for his childhood friend. And we are invited to join them. On the journey we learn what made them fall apart and why North turned his back on Will (and believe you me, it's a revelation and to me it had little to do with cowardice).
The sexy times are steamy and frequent (but don't distract from the story) and I quote my friend Jen here: "Why do gay guys have the hottest sex?"
It was my first Carmen Jenner book and I absolutely adore her writing style. The scarcasm, the snark, the emotion. Not my last one, I swear, not my last Carmen Jenner book.
My Review @ Coffee, Cookies and Books