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3.69 AVERAGE
3.69 AVERAGE
I struggled with what to rate this book because it’s truly very well-written, raw, and heartwarming. It speaks truthfully to many important aspects of healing and the power of therapy and human relationships. As a social worker, though, I cringed sometimes at some of the ethical violations that the therapist broke. I think it’s a great story that tugs at the human heart, but I think it’s worth saying that there are parts that do not always accurately reflect what group therapy is (or should be like).
Content warnings: eating disorder, suicidal ideation, death, mental illness, etc
3.5/5
Content warnings: eating disorder, suicidal ideation, death, mental illness, etc
3.5/5
emotional
fast-paced
This is an intense, vulnerable read. Parts of Tate’s story are really dark, but overall the message is inspiring: we are all capable of healing, and there are many paths to get there. They all start by finding connections and building on them.
Recommended by the trauma therapist in my book club, so I should have known!
The first chapter and several other sections are intense; see trigger warnings for sensitive readers.
Recommended by the trauma therapist in my book club, so I should have known!
The first chapter and several other sections are intense; see trigger warnings for sensitive readers.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Eating disorder, Suicidal thoughts
Moderate: Sexual content, Vomit
At first I was extremely frustrated by the author and in particular with her therapist who I felt was taking advantage of her. I thought she was being financially duped with so many appointments over such a long period of time. But then I began to see how group therapy really helped her to discover her true self and how important all of those people were to her. In the end I was very attached to her fate and felt like all of her honesty paid off.
The actual rating I would give is 3.5 stars. I loved the writing style of the author and the vulnerability behind her story. I also really appreciated the exploration and journey she took to get to the end of the book. I took off some stars from my rating due to the unethical behavior of the therapist. This impacted my own ability to fully appreciate the author’s journey.
Reading through others’ reviews, I see a common thread—this book unlocks a wide range of reactions/emotions. I wonder if the skew of ratings reflect people’s comfort acknowledging and accepting their own feelings..? This book provides a platform to normalize holding space for one another. I would appreciate a world more like Dr. Rosen’s group therapy. What if people felt safe to be real, emotional, and honest because seeing our fellow humans as capable and enough just as they are was culturally normalized?
Sparklets:
I don’t need you to protect me. That’s not your job. Your job is to tell (Page 23).
Holding onto secrets is a way to hold shame that doesn’t belong to you (page 32).
You don’t need a cure. You need a witness (Page 40).
It’s not going to work if you don’t do the hard thing (page 41).
Gradually, I stilled and watched lake
Michigan out the window. The quiet space we were holding felt as vast as the ocean or outer space. The light streaming in the room seemed holy; the intimacy among us sacred (page 46).
Why was my date such a disaster?”
“Who says it was a disaster?”
“It was fifty minutes long. I didn’t even go to school today—I’m in bed.”
“Congratulations.”
“For what?”
“When was the last time you made this much space for your feelings?”
“Um.” He knew the answer was never.
“You deserve space to feel.”
“But what should I do?”
“What were you doing before I called?”
“Staring at the ceiling.”
“Do that. And come to group tomorrow.”
“That’s it?”
He laughed. “That’s plenty”
(Page 52).
If you can’t say no in relationships, then you can’t be intimate (page 64).
Believe me, buddy, I’m a lot of things, but brave comes well after desperate, foolish, lonely, depressed, sad, lost, humiliated, and starving.
Would you like me to join you out on that limb? (Page 173).
I was okay for the first time in my entire life. Because I said so (page 247).
Sparklets:
I don’t need you to protect me. That’s not your job. Your job is to tell (Page 23).
Holding onto secrets is a way to hold shame that doesn’t belong to you (page 32).
You don’t need a cure. You need a witness (Page 40).
It’s not going to work if you don’t do the hard thing (page 41).
Gradually, I stilled and watched lake
Michigan out the window. The quiet space we were holding felt as vast as the ocean or outer space. The light streaming in the room seemed holy; the intimacy among us sacred (page 46).
Why was my date such a disaster?”
“Who says it was a disaster?”
“It was fifty minutes long. I didn’t even go to school today—I’m in bed.”
“Congratulations.”
“For what?”
“When was the last time you made this much space for your feelings?”
“Um.” He knew the answer was never.
“You deserve space to feel.”
“But what should I do?”
“What were you doing before I called?”
“Staring at the ceiling.”
“Do that. And come to group tomorrow.”
“That’s it?”
He laughed. “That’s plenty”
(Page 52).
If you can’t say no in relationships, then you can’t be intimate (page 64).
Believe me, buddy, I’m a lot of things, but brave comes well after desperate, foolish, lonely, depressed, sad, lost, humiliated, and starving.
Would you like me to join you out on that limb? (Page 173).
I was okay for the first time in my entire life. Because I said so (page 247).
I’m all for unrealistic stories. But I’m not okay with unethical books. The therapist in this book was extremely unethical.
3.75. I have mixed feelings on the therapist in the book, and the author as a person. However, I think it’s so important to read about someone who seems to have it all and is still just so lonely. A really rough read but a really enlightening one as well.
Lovely read
This was an Easy and enjoyable read! The author is so honest and i liked her writing style. Enjoyed this book immensely!
This was an Easy and enjoyable read! The author is so honest and i liked her writing style. Enjoyed this book immensely!
An entertaining but uncomfortably voyeuristic read...Sort of a mix between Running with Scissors and Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. For a therapy book, there is not a lot of (any?) self-reflection happening. She tries to "build intimacy" with the reader using the same no-secrets method that her therapist (cult leader?) Dr. Rosen promises will be the key to intimacy in group therapy and life. But the reader just ends up feeling like a creepy and complicit intruder. Looking forward to a lively book club conversation...
dark
emotional
hopeful
reflective
sad
tense
fast-paced