Take a photo of a barcode or cover
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
medium-paced
funny
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
emotional
hopeful
reflective
fast-paced
I picked this book up at a thrift store because the cover was cute, I love contemporary dating and self-help books. Aaaand I hated this one! Let me dive into why:
This book is written by a rich, LA-influencer. If you're an average woman and think your dating life is adjacent to hers in any way, think again. You wont run into a hot musician on your birthday in Vegas and have steamy sex all night because you "manifested" it in your Notes app.
Tinx reduces men’s worth to the shallowest checklist. Avoid guys who take mirror selfies, work in tech, or have roommates. Instead, go for the hot, wealthy one with a family lake house. Sheesh! I can’t believe I’m here defending men, but for the average reader, that nerdy, dad-bod-having tech guy is way more likely to be your future husband than Chris-with-a-lake-house.
This book is written by a rich, LA-influencer. If you're an average woman and think your dating life is adjacent to hers in any way, think again. You wont run into a hot musician on your birthday in Vegas and have steamy sex all night because you "manifested" it in your Notes app.
Tinx reduces men’s worth to the shallowest checklist. Avoid guys who take mirror selfies, work in tech, or have roommates. Instead, go for the hot, wealthy one with a family lake house. Sheesh! I can’t believe I’m here defending men, but for the average reader, that nerdy, dad-bod-having tech guy is way more likely to be your future husband than Chris-with-a-lake-house.
And let’s talk about the microaggressions sprinkled throughout. “We get our hair blown out for dudes who don’t even have a passport.” Sorry, what? Are guys who can’t afford international travel unworthy of your good hair days? Make it make sense!
More importantly, Tinx oversimplifies male intentions: either they want sex or they want love, and that’s decided the minute you meet. No in-between, no change. Meanwhile, women only seek love… but might settle for sex down the road. So wait, am I some sexually enlightened superior being for knowing the guy I swiped on is just a meat-stick to me? Please. This book is trying to teach a niche group of white, cishet, wealthy, LA-based women who are looking for a ring on their finger how to be an average slut instead.
Tinx knows she’s writing from privilege—she even prefaces the book with a disclaimer that she’s a privileged, cishet woman staying in her “very straight lane.” But honestly? This book would have been a million times better if she didn’t. Imagine what she could have learned (and taught) by actually reaching out to queer, multicultural, or working-class communities to explore how they navigate love and sex.
One of her core beliefs makes it make a whole lot of sense why she had to preface this book isn't for LGBTQ+ people; If you want marriage, you will get married. Just act like it’s inevitable. She encourages readers to enjoy singleness and use it to advance your career, find yourself, and sleep around because one day you’ll be married and babymaking. The way she paints these two phases of life; single and devoted to yourself vs. married and devoted to someone else... feels so disconnected. Imagine if she explored open relationships or polyamory, showing how these couples balance commitment with personal/sexual freedom and helped the reader apply those ideas to monogamy?
In the end, The Shift is more like The Nudge. Its a gentle push in the right direction, but nothing groundbreaking. It’s consumable, unchallenging and honestly it’ll make a cute decoration on my windowsill since it’s bubblegum pink and looks nice without the dust jacket. Thanks, I guess!
PS: Want a book with a similar tone, style, and topics but actually done right? Read Bow Down by Lindsay Goldwert. Don’t be freaked out by the kink mention. I promise, there’s nothing graphic.
emotional
funny
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
The Shift by Tinx is a refreshing and empowering guide to self-improvement and embracing a mindset shift that can truly transform how you approach life, love, and personal growth. Tinx, known for her honest and relatable social media presence, dives into the concept of shifting your perspective to unlock a more fulfilling and confident version of yourself—and the book delivers just that in the most accessible way.
What I loved is how Tinx combines humor, personal anecdotes, and actionable advice. Her writing feels like you’re sitting down for a heart-to-heart with a friend who’s genuinely rooting for you. She doesn’t sugarcoat things, but her approach is uplifting and practical, making even the most challenging advice feel achievable. I found myself nodding along and thinking, “Yes, I needed this reminder,” as she encourages readers to move past limiting beliefs and step into their power.
The core message of the book revolves around shifting your mindset—moving from a place of scarcity or fear into one of abundance and self-assurance. Tinx provides specific frameworks and exercises that encourage you to rethink your habits, mindset, and relationships. There’s a huge emphasis on self-worth and the importance of setting boundaries, particularly in romantic relationships, which I really appreciated. She also offers tangible tools to help you better understand your desires and intentions, and how to communicate them with confidence. The chapter on dating and relationship dynamics is filled with practical advice that made me reflect on how I approach my own relationships, both with others and myself.
Another thing that stood out to me was Tinx's authentic and relatable tone. She shares her own experiences and growth, which made the advice feel grounded and real. It didn’t feel like a generic “self-help” book—it felt like a personal journey that Tinx was inviting readers to join. Whether she’s sharing about her own struggles or her lessons learned, I found her voice encouraging and easy to connect with. It’s not about perfection, but progress, and that’s a message that resonated with me deeply. That being said, there were moments where I felt some of the advice could’ve been expanded upon or explored a little deeper, especially around practical steps for putting the advice into action in a more long-term, sustainable way. Some chapters left me wanting more concrete examples or deeper dives into the concepts. But overall, the book is still incredibly motivating, and I found myself reflecting on its lessons long after I finished reading.
The Shift is a great read for anyone looking to shake up their mindset, gain more clarity in their life, or learn how to embrace personal growth with confidence. Tinx’s advice feels both grounded and inspirational, making this book a great starting point for anyone looking to make a shift in how they approach life, love, and their own self-worth.
funny
hopeful
inspiring
I love Tinx and I love what she has to say, only giving this three stars because I’ve heard most of it already by listening to her podcast!
Tinx is at her best when writing about modern dating. I felt the end of the book fell a little flat.
informative
lighthearted
fast-paced
I probably won’t remember this book in a year but not bad. The meat of the book is dating advice which I skimmed over. The bits about being a better friend to other women was probably the best part of this book for me but, again, nothing revolutionary.