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nad_books623's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Misogyny, Cancer, Sexual assault, Sexual violence, Alcoholism, Abandonment, Child abuse, Death, Toxic relationship, Classism, Sexism, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Homophobia, and Physical abuse
Moderate: Abortion, Death of parent, and Racism
Minor: Racial slurs, Child death, Infidelity, and Slavery
sarah_speaks's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.25
Graphic: Misogyny, Death of parent, Cancer, Domestic abuse, Sexual assault, Homophobia, Physical abuse, Death, Sexism, and Child abuse
Moderate: Alcoholism
Minor: Animal death, Abortion, and Miscarriage
jedore's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
“Knowledge is a funny thing, Isaac. It informs by exposing. It shows you precisely how much you don’t know.”
I was pulled into this story from the Author’s note at the very beginning. Like the author, my father passed without ever admitting, let alone apologizing, for his major emotional shortcomings. Writing this book was a way for Daniel Black to heal the gaping wounds this leaves behind.
I don’t like to compare the pain of two different people. Pain is pain and no one deserves to have their pain diminished. But, I have to say what Isaac, the gay son who is the recipient of his father’s deathbed letters, went through is FAR worse than what I went through.
On top of a typical dysfunctional family, he has the added horrors of the impact of slavery and being black in the U.S., being gay in a subculture that considers it an abhorrence, and the lack of love, tenderness and communication when it was needed most. I honestly don’t know if I would be able to climb out of a hole that deep.
Reading the imagined letters that the reformed father wrote to Isaac was definitely a soothing salve. Many of the things he conveyed explained some of the characteristics and behaviors of my own father (and other men I know and love), so it was helpful for me personally as well.
That being said, I still find it difficult to excuse my middle class white father for his emotional neglect. A black man of the same generation is a whole other story.
I highly recommend this book to anyone with daddy issues stemming from a hyper-stern and inexpressive father born in the early to mid-1900s, as well as anyone walking the path toward anti-racism. It’s a very quick, deeply emotional, and insightful read.
Graphic: Child death, Cancer, Grief, Slavery, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Terminal illness, Classism, Death, Homophobia, Misogyny, Racism, and Sexism
Moderate: Alcoholism
Minor: Bullying and Domestic abuse
jbird_reads's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Graphic: Child death, Death, Domestic abuse, Child abuse, Death of parent, Racial slurs, and Racism
Moderate: Alcoholism and Abortion
gigisxm's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
5/12 #bookclub
9/20 #booksbyblackfolx
Graphic: Domestic abuse and Hate crime
Moderate: Death, Bullying, Cancer, Abortion, Child death, Religious bigotry, and Terminal illness
hayleyvharrington's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Terminal illness, Death, Death of parent, Grief, Murder, Biphobia, Domestic abuse, Bullying, Cancer, Child abuse, Child death, Gun violence, Hate crime, Homophobia, Infidelity, Miscarriage, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Racism, Sexism, Slavery, and Violence
Moderate: Abandonment, Alcoholism, and Chronic illness
Minor: Alcohol
stephanieswilley's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Moderate: Alcohol, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Bullying, Cancer, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Emotional abuse, Grief, Homophobia, Miscarriage, Murder, Pregnancy, and Terminal illness
sup3r_xn0va_maya's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
update: 1 hour later
I had book club and discussed this book with some really cool friends. After talking it out I can see where the author was going with this book. I think my take away is that we should give Black men grace and understand when it comes to the ways they show up in our lives. Some of them might not know the "typical" ways to show love so they show love in the only ways they know.
I'm giving this a 3.5 out of 5 stars.
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This book is ultimately about generational trauma and Black boy and manhood.
The main character wasn't likeable at all and I didn't like how terrible the main character was. With each confession I just became more and more irritated with the book and him. He was somewhat a grey area character, but to me he was just an unlikeable asshole.
He often complained that he wanted his child to "be a man" and be confident and have strength but every chance the main character has at reaching out to his child to reconcile their relationship, he shys away. So now he's the meek one? Yeah, I don't like that hypocrisy, with as much grief as he gave his son for not acting like "a man", he could have stood up and "been a man" when it came to connecting with his son.
I felt sorry for his family because they had to deal with him. I understand that he is trying to learn and do better as a person, he's so unlikeable that I don't care if he's trying to become a better person. I'm trying to be understanding to his character but it's hard for me.
My friends felt more sympathy than I did for the main character and maybe you will too.
I'm giving this a 3 out of 5 stars.
Graphic: Ableism, Abortion, Adult/minor relationship, Blood, Cancer, Child abuse, Child death, Death, Death of parent, Outing, Cursing, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Hate crime, Infidelity, Lesbophobia, Miscarriage, Physical abuse, Rape, Suicide, Suicide attempt, Homophobia, Misogyny, Sexism, and Suicidal thoughts
ladygetslit's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
3.5
- frame narrative that limits itself, homophobia, more “tell” than “show”
Graphic: Misogyny, Homophobia, and Physical abuse
Moderate: Cancer, Death, and Death of parent
Minor: Slavery and Miscarriage
briannad4's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.75
Graphic: Sexual assault, Domestic abuse, and Death