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canascorner's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Alcoholism, Child abuse, Sexual assault, Toxic relationship, Abandonment, Domestic abuse, Emotional abuse, Misogyny, Homophobia, and Physical abuse
Moderate: Abortion, Suicide, Death of parent, Bullying, Grief, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, and Racism
jedore's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
“Knowledge is a funny thing, Isaac. It informs by exposing. It shows you precisely how much you don’t know.”
I was pulled into this story from the Author’s note at the very beginning. Like the author, my father passed without ever admitting, let alone apologizing, for his major emotional shortcomings. Writing this book was a way for Daniel Black to heal the gaping wounds this leaves behind.
I don’t like to compare the pain of two different people. Pain is pain and no one deserves to have their pain diminished. But, I have to say what Isaac, the gay son who is the recipient of his father’s deathbed letters, went through is FAR worse than what I went through.
On top of a typical dysfunctional family, he has the added horrors of the impact of slavery and being black in the U.S., being gay in a subculture that considers it an abhorrence, and the lack of love, tenderness and communication when it was needed most. I honestly don’t know if I would be able to climb out of a hole that deep.
Reading the imagined letters that the reformed father wrote to Isaac was definitely a soothing salve. Many of the things he conveyed explained some of the characteristics and behaviors of my own father (and other men I know and love), so it was helpful for me personally as well.
That being said, I still find it difficult to excuse my middle class white father for his emotional neglect. A black man of the same generation is a whole other story.
I highly recommend this book to anyone with daddy issues stemming from a hyper-stern and inexpressive father born in the early to mid-1900s, as well as anyone walking the path toward anti-racism. It’s a very quick, deeply emotional, and insightful read.
Graphic: Child death, Cancer, Grief, Slavery, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Physical abuse, Terminal illness, Classism, Death, Homophobia, Misogyny, Racism, and Sexism
Moderate: Alcoholism
Minor: Bullying and Domestic abuse
tlaynejones's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
5.0
Graphic: Misogyny, Grief, Sexism, Toxic relationship, Homophobia, and Violence
Moderate: Terminal illness, Physical abuse, Emotional abuse, Alcoholism, Racism, and Infidelity
hayleyvharrington's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Terminal illness, Death, Death of parent, Grief, Murder, Biphobia, Domestic abuse, Bullying, Cancer, Child abuse, Child death, Gun violence, Hate crime, Homophobia, Infidelity, Miscarriage, Physical abuse, Pregnancy, Racism, Sexism, Slavery, and Violence
Moderate: Abandonment, Alcoholism, and Chronic illness
Minor: Alcohol
stephanieswilley's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Moderate: Alcohol, Alcoholism, Child abuse, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Bullying, Cancer, Chronic illness, Cursing, Death, Emotional abuse, Grief, Homophobia, Miscarriage, Murder, Pregnancy, and Terminal illness
jaylee_books's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Abortion, Miscarriage, Alcoholism, Homophobia, Alcohol, Misogyny, Physical abuse, Child abuse, Death of parent, Emotional abuse, Grief, and Hate crime
Moderate: Sexual content, Sexual assault, Suicide attempt, Violence, Suicidal thoughts, Religious bigotry, and Pregnancy
Minor: Murder
laurataylor's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? It's complicated
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.5
Graphic: Abortion, Chronic illness, Cancer, Death, Infidelity, Medical content, Colonisation, Cursing, Alcoholism, Death of parent, Domestic abuse, Grief, Miscarriage, Addiction, Alcohol, Animal death, Child abuse, Hate crime, Homophobia, Pregnancy, and Racism
ethan_bridgesgarcia's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? N/A
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
What a roller coaster of emotions! This book has all the feels. I don’t know how many time I had to put this book down because of the sole fact that I related so much with the son and how he was treated by his father. The amount of hardships and struggles Jacob went through not just as a man but as a Black man struggling in a world that was already made hard for him by history but to have a gay son as well.
Many of the words Jacob said to Isaac my own father/mother has said to me. I don’t know if it’s a Southern thing but the fact that many of the gay men, or supposed gay men, in this story were called “funny,” only cemented how ignorant some people can be. Upon my own liberation from the closet, my mother asked me if I was funny… and it was the single most hardest silence I’ve ever felt. But for her to dismiss my answer only hurt more. My own father didn’t speak to me for 2 weeks. But now, nearly 10 years later, I’m married, my family has an amazing relationship with me and my husband. But still I would recommend this to any parent struggling with their kid’s sexuality.
This book Daniel Black has brought forth to the world had me in a whirlwind of tears and laughter and anger. In the particular scene of a friend suffering from AIDS comes to visit Isaac but Jacob stops to inform him that his son had moved away. I ugly cried for 20 minutes. The fact that Jacob was disgusted by how the young man looked, with sores and emaciated look to him. Jacob’s only thought was that his son would never sink that low to get the “gay disease.”
This book is possibly my favorite book I’ve read all year and I will recommend it to anyone. Just make sure you have tissues. In fact, make it a crying towel. There’s a lot of tears to be shed.
Moderate: Domestic abuse, Child abuse, Pregnancy, Violence, Alcoholism, Body shaming, Child death, Chronic illness, Classism, Emotional abuse, Grief, Homophobia, Racism, Abortion, Cancer, Death, Death of parent, Terminal illness, Bullying, Hate crime, Miscarriage, Physical abuse, Racial slurs, Sexism, Slavery, and Toxic relationship
random19379's review against another edition
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
4.0
Graphic: Homophobia, Racism, Violence, Child abuse, Misogyny, Grief, and Cancer
Moderate: Hate crime, Slavery, Rape, Bullying, and Alcoholism
Minor: Suicide
hanreadin's review against another edition
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? Yes
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
Graphic: Child abuse, Chronic illness, Homophobia, Medical content, Domestic abuse, Infidelity, Miscarriage, Physical abuse, Police brutality, Sexism, Sexual assault, Slavery, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Addiction, Alcoholism, Bullying, Death, Grief, Misogyny, Racial slurs, Racism, Rape, Cancer, and Abortion