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Reviews tagging 'Sexism'
Ace: What Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen
25 reviews
siebensommer's review against another edition
challenging
informative
slow-paced
4.0
No one remarks on the fact that if anyone needs to make up an identity to get out of having sex, that is the bigger problem.
It is a failure of society if anyone needs to say “I have a partner" to turn someone down, and it is a failure of society if anyone needs to invoke a sexual orientation to avoid unwanted sex because saying no doesn't do the job.
a worthy read that makes you think and feel. i found this still put a major focus on a supremacy of relationships between two people over a kinship-oriented approach, at least up until the final chapter - kinda disappointing because the space for a general new view of worthy relationships would have been right there
Content Warnings
Moderate: Ableism, Dysphoria, Homophobia, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Sexism, and Sexual content
takarakei's review against another edition
informative
medium-paced
4.5
I highly recommend this book to everyone, especially those in the LGBTQIA+ community and allies. This is a fascinating examination of our wider (mostly American) culture, and how sex obsessed it is. As someone who is alo (not ace), there was so much I gained from listening. I really enjoyed the intersectionality of acephobia and homophobia, racism, ableism, transphobia - basically the oppression of all marginalized groups.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Sexual content, and Acephobia/Arophobia
Moderate: Rape, Racism, Transphobia, Sexism, Dysphoria, Religious bigotry, Homophobia, Sexual assault, and Misogyny
sexual content: discussed in generally fairly clinical terms, but as this book deals with sex in society it is the main topic of the book.cozyscones's review against another edition
informative
reflective
medium-paced
4.0
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism and Acephobia/Arophobia
Moderate: Sexism, Racism, and Sexual assault
jenmcreads's review against another edition
challenging
hopeful
informative
medium-paced
4.75
Content Warnings
Moderate: Sexual assault, Acephobia/Arophobia, Sexual violence, and Sexism
lilybear3's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
I was super excited to pick this book up, it had been recommended by a co-worker and the topic interested me as I hadn't had a lot of prior knowledge about asexuality before. I knew asexuality and a few related terms, like aromantic and demisexual, but not beyond a surface level understanding. I felt that I learned a lot from this book and the stories people shared in it. Again, one of the reasons why I read this book was to learn about perspectives outside of my own.
This book has a lot to offer, even for people who don't identify as ace, like me. There were parts of this book where I found "a-ha" moments in my own journey in understanding my sexuality. There's a sense of relief in discovering that you're not alone and that there's a word or definition for what you are feeling, Chen writes, "the specificity of language can force us to look more closely at what we want and what leaves us cold" (29). There was a time in my life where sex was difficult and it has caused me to have a complicated relationship with sex. My interpretation of the following paragraph was super validating and I got emotional just reading it (it's long so I'll put it in spoiler brackets) "you don't have to be a part of the ace community forever, but the lesson that a happy life for aces is possible, regardless of origin, is one that is important and one that includes you too. It's for you even if you don't identify as ace. If asexuality is fine, so is every other form of low sexual desire or so-called sexual dysfunction. Anyone who has any form of desire or attraction lower or higher than 'normal' can still be okay. Better than okay." (102) .
This book has a lot to offer, even for people who don't identify as ace, like me. There were parts of this book where I found "a-ha" moments in my own journey in understanding my sexuality. There's a sense of relief in discovering that you're not alone and that there's a word or definition for what you are feeling, Chen writes, "the specificity of language can force us to look more closely at what we want and what leaves us cold" (29). There was a time in my life where sex was difficult and it has caused me to have a complicated relationship with sex. My interpretation of the following paragraph was super validating and I got emotional just reading it (it's long so I'll put it in spoiler brackets)
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexual content and Acephobia/Arophobia
Moderate: Rape, Sexism, and Racism
eviecheesepuff's review against another edition
challenging
informative
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
4.0
When it comes to ✨cultural criticism✨ this book should be the golden standard on how to do it. I’ve always had a hard time reading social commentary because regardless of who writes it, I always find it to be extremely biased one way or another. But not miss Angela Chen. This book is presented in a very kind and explorative way with the author interviewing very different people that come from a wide arrange of backgrounds and cultures, hence most povs are included in this book. I absolutely adored reading this. You can really tell that Angela Chen is a journalist and that she did not leave a single stone unturned when it came to research for this book, somehow managing a voice that balances facts and emotion.
Lessons learned,
1 - If everyone cared less about what sex/relationships should look like, it would be easier to do what feels right for you.
2 - Being promiscuous should not imply sex liberation and celibacy/abstinence should not imply a conservative agenda. You should be able to do what feels best to you with whomever you please without implied labels.
3 - Asexuality is not tied with a race or culture.
4 - Always seek other people’s point of view and ask questions. Never force your experiences on to others.
5 - Being honest, open and communicative with your partner to ensure both of you are comfortable and happy in the relationship.
notes
- I really need more books like this. Enlightening without judgement. To be honest... I think we all do.
- listening to this in audio was better than most of my college classes tbh
Lessons learned,
1 - If everyone cared less about what sex/relationships should look like, it would be easier to do what feels right for you.
2 - Being promiscuous should not imply sex liberation and celibacy/abstinence should not imply a conservative agenda. You should be able to do what feels best to you with whomever you please without implied labels.
3 - Asexuality is not tied with a race or culture.
4 - Always seek other people’s point of view and ask questions. Never force your experiences on to others.
5 - Being honest, open and communicative with your partner to ensure both of you are comfortable and happy in the relationship.
notes
- I really need more books like this. Enlightening without judgement. To be honest... I think we all do.
- listening to this in audio was better than most of my college classes tbh
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism
zombiezami's review against another edition
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
This book was very well done. The author masterfully explains basic concepts while avoiding getting stuck in the 101 area. She raises some great questions that don't all get answered but that are important for a wide range of people to ponder. I learned so much from this.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Acephobia/Arophobia and Sexual content
Moderate: Ableism, Transphobia, Rape, Gaslighting, Sexism, Racism, Toxic relationship, Sexual assault, Forced institutionalization, Bullying, and Chronic illness
Minor: Dementia, Dysphoria, Cursing, and Infidelity
Forced sterilizationsofiarmz13's review against another edition
challenging
informative
reflective
medium-paced
3.75
Content Warnings
Graphic: Acephobia/Arophobia, Racism, Sexism, and Ableism
foreverinastory's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
5.0
I cannot recommend this book enough! Ace should be required reading for every Sex Ed/health class. I wish I had this book when I was younger. This book is so informative and covers many basic tenants of asexuality as well as diving deeper into it. Chen also explores several facets of intersectionality and ace identity.
This was such a well done non-fiction book and I hope we get more books like this about Asexuality and other queer identities that aren't always spotlighted. This was such a great book and it's very readable. I highly recommend it to allies, and queer people alike because I think it will benefit everyone.
I can't wait for the day Ace liberation truly begins.
This was such a well done non-fiction book and I hope we get more books like this about Asexuality and other queer identities that aren't always spotlighted. This was such a great book and it's very readable. I highly recommend it to allies, and queer people alike because I think it will benefit everyone.
I can't wait for the day Ace liberation truly begins.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Acephobia/Arophobia, Misogyny, Racism, Sexual content, Sexism, and Transphobia
pastelkerstin's review against another edition
informative
inspiring
medium-paced
5.0
[For context: I'm asexual and somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. This is an ownvoice review.]
This book fills a previous gap of non-fiction about asexuality that goes beyond mere Asexuality 101 (definition of asexuality, busting of common misconceptions) but that is still accessible to a broader audience. It has deservedly become the go-to rec for people looking for non-fiction books about asexuality.
In terms of non-fiction about asexuality, I've previously read Ace and Proud: An Asexual Anthology, which is mostly made up of ace people talking about their personal experiences, and it's fine for what it is, but as an anthology, it doesn't have an overarching structure. And then there was also Sex or Ice cream?: Secrets of an Asexual; Asexuality in a Sexed Up World—A Thought-Provoking and Comically Quirky Memoir, a memoir I strongly disliked for several reasons (see my review of it for details). Another non-fiction book about asexuality that I have started to read (and intend on finishing) is the more academic Asexual Erotics: Intimate Readings of Compulsory Sexuality. But ACE is different from all of those books and if you are a) not ace but want to learn more about asexuality and how it relates to other topics, b) questioning whether you are ace, or c) are ace and are tired of Asexuality 101 explanations, I'd say read ACE. It's a good introduction to asexuality if you need that but it also has so much more in store. I've known I'm asexual for over eight years. I'm not interested in basic definitions anymore. I'm interested in intersectionality and politics and the complexity of human relationships. I'm interested in analyses of how being a-spec in a world where you are assumed to be attracted to people romantically and sexually shapes your life. And ACE delivers just that.
Chen manages to cover quite a lot of ground in the pages of this books, talking about toxic masculinity, feminism, race, disability, compulsory sexuality, the pathologization of low/no sexual attraction, hermeneutical injustice, relationships, marriage law, consent and more, and how those topics relate to asexual people but also to many non-aces. A lot of the things ace activists fight for are things that would also benefit other people, who do not identify as a-spec, because ace activism often gets to the core of societal problems. I believe you will get something out of this book even if you're not ace for that reason as well.
Also, it should be noted that despite the title, the author also talks about aromanticism. She interviewed not only aroace but also aromantic allosexual people. Most of the book is more concerned with asexuality, so the branding makes sense, but there is a-spec content beyond and seperate from asexuality in here, which I think is great because aromanticism is often overlooked.
I really enjoyed my time with this book and I hope that we'll see even more good non-fiction about a-spec themes in the future. A lot of the topics that Chen mentions are so big and interesting that they could probably fill a whole book on their own. I think the topic of how asexuality intersects with gender roles and gender identity would be a great book, for example. Books like Chen's make me optimistic about the future of a-spec activism and literature!
This book fills a previous gap of non-fiction about asexuality that goes beyond mere Asexuality 101 (definition of asexuality, busting of common misconceptions) but that is still accessible to a broader audience. It has deservedly become the go-to rec for people looking for non-fiction books about asexuality.
In terms of non-fiction about asexuality, I've previously read Ace and Proud: An Asexual Anthology, which is mostly made up of ace people talking about their personal experiences, and it's fine for what it is, but as an anthology, it doesn't have an overarching structure. And then there was also Sex or Ice cream?: Secrets of an Asexual; Asexuality in a Sexed Up World—A Thought-Provoking and Comically Quirky Memoir, a memoir I strongly disliked for several reasons (see my review of it for details). Another non-fiction book about asexuality that I have started to read (and intend on finishing) is the more academic Asexual Erotics: Intimate Readings of Compulsory Sexuality. But ACE is different from all of those books and if you are a) not ace but want to learn more about asexuality and how it relates to other topics, b) questioning whether you are ace, or c) are ace and are tired of Asexuality 101 explanations, I'd say read ACE. It's a good introduction to asexuality if you need that but it also has so much more in store. I've known I'm asexual for over eight years. I'm not interested in basic definitions anymore. I'm interested in intersectionality and politics and the complexity of human relationships. I'm interested in analyses of how being a-spec in a world where you are assumed to be attracted to people romantically and sexually shapes your life. And ACE delivers just that.
Chen manages to cover quite a lot of ground in the pages of this books, talking about toxic masculinity, feminism, race, disability, compulsory sexuality, the pathologization of low/no sexual attraction, hermeneutical injustice, relationships, marriage law, consent and more, and how those topics relate to asexual people but also to many non-aces. A lot of the things ace activists fight for are things that would also benefit other people, who do not identify as a-spec, because ace activism often gets to the core of societal problems. I believe you will get something out of this book even if you're not ace for that reason as well.
Also, it should be noted that despite the title, the author also talks about aromanticism. She interviewed not only aroace but also aromantic allosexual people. Most of the book is more concerned with asexuality, so the branding makes sense, but there is a-spec content beyond and seperate from asexuality in here, which I think is great because aromanticism is often overlooked.
I really enjoyed my time with this book and I hope that we'll see even more good non-fiction about a-spec themes in the future. A lot of the topics that Chen mentions are so big and interesting that they could probably fill a whole book on their own. I think the topic of how asexuality intersects with gender roles and gender identity would be a great book, for example. Books like Chen's make me optimistic about the future of a-spec activism and literature!
Content Warnings
Moderate: Ableism, Acephobia/Arophobia, Medical trauma, Racism, Sexism, Sexual content, and Misogyny
Minor: Bullying, Dysphoria, Medical content, Panic attacks/disorders, Pregnancy, Rape, Sexual assault, Sexual harassment, Sexual violence, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Murder, Death, and Death of parent